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Gerry is seen here performing at the Uncyclopedia Amphitheatre. Thank you for your time, oh you've been so much more than can keep the dime...

“I had a Freudian slip over breakfast this morning. I meant to ask my wife to pass the butter, but instead I said, "You bitch! You've ruined my life!"”

~ Mars Callahan on Freud

april fools[edit]

you should have seen your faces.

I did actually, my new laptop has quite a shiny screen. It looked like :( --User:Under user/sig3 20:39, Apr 2


(currently organized alphabetically by height) bold = featured , italic = quasi-featured

Original Articles[edit]

Tremors | Gerry Cheevers | DOHS Anti-Terrorism Regulations | Red Baron | Robert Shaw | Hans Blix and the Weapons Inspectors | Dumb and Dumber | C-3PO | Gemini | Bomb Shelter | Cactus | Pie Chart | Mousetrap | Goldfish co-authored with Template:U | 1993

Full Rewrites[edit]

Alaska | NASA #2 Oct '08! | Stone the Israeli Tank co-authored with Template:U | AIDS (Space Program) #2 May '09! | Kingfisher co-authored with Template:U | Lobster co-authored with Template:U and Template:U | Wild Bill Hickok | World of Warcraft | Abraham Lincoln PLS Winner!

VFD Rescues[edit]

Pet Rock: The Video Game | Is the bear a Catholic?


How to: Be a Douchebag


Al Gore #1 Mar '09! | Jew | Michael Jackson | Great Britain | Barack Obama | Wikipedia | Singapore | You


UnNews:New writing technique good for some, bad for others | UnNews:Discovery of caves on Mars sparks Space Race II | UnNews:Uncyclopedia launches first satellite | UnNews:Iraq detainees suffering from 'excessive boredom' | UnNews:Saudi woman flogged for being gang raped | UnNews:Santa Claus missing, officials fear worst | UnNews:Galactic Empire raises terror alert level to orange | UnNews:Local man rescues dozens from vampire peacock | UnNews:Dog to run for mayor of Alabama town, despite mudslinging | UnNews:Controversy arises over team nickname | UnNews:Ice cream discovered on Mars | UnNews:NYC cracks down on strays, introduces fleet of 'dog sweepers' | UnNews:Hyrule physicists report quantum fluctuations | UnNews:Scientists discover link between Daylight Savings and Global Warming | UnNews:Sharks invade cleaner beaches | UnNews:Louisiana Governor brazenly taunts volcanoes | UnNews:Congress questions Senator's knighthood | UnNews:He-She T driver is a dunderhead


July 24th, 2008 (#12) | July 31st, 2008 (#13) | August 7th, 2008 (#14) | August 14th, 2008 (#15) | August 21st, 2008 (#16) | August 28th, 2008 (#17) | September 4th, 2008 (#18) | September 11th, 2008 (#19) | October 2nd, 2008 (# 20) | October 9th, 2008 (#21) | October 16th, 2008 (#22) | February 19th, 2009 (#35) | February 26th, 2009 (#36) | March 5th, 2009 (#37) | March 10th, 2009 (#38) | March 19th, 2009 (#39) | March 26th, 2009 (#40) | April 5th, 2009 (#41) | April 9th, 2009 (#42) | April 16th, 2009 (#43) | April 23rd, 2009 (#44) | April 30th, 2009 (#45) | May 5th, 2009 (#46) | May 14th, 2009 (#47) | June 4th, 2009 (#50) | June 11th, 2009 (#51) | June 28th, 2009 (#52) | June 25th, 2009 (#53) | July 2nd, 2009 (#54) | July 9th, 2009 (#55) | July 16th, 2009 (#56) | July 23rd, 2009 (#57)


Armstrong on the Moon | Aushwattz 4000 | Dragons on Mars | Puppy Cannon | Spudnik | Terror Alert Chart | You've Got Platoon | Vampire Peacock | Bobby Orr | Pie Chart | Men at Work | Link Mugshot | Cactus (by Billy) | Einstein Idol

UnNews Audios[edit]

UnNews:Galactic Empire raises terror alert level to orange | UnNews:Louisiana Governor brazenly taunts volcanoes


Noobaward.jpgKetchup1.jpgBePrepared.jpgPee reviewer of the month award.pngWotm.jpgFoolitzer.png

Ic bead.pngIc bead.png

MShippo37915.jpg Bff.png Feather fedora small.png Mechanic.jpg Wallace in wrong trousers.jpgThumbs up2.jpg
UUninjastar.pngCyberstar.pngNinjastar.pngPocketful.jpgGoldNinjaStar.pngSucker Ninjastar.pngCyberstar.pngWhirlingstar.gifManneken.JPG

Goldurinal.gifPlatinumpisser.gifDiamond Dumper.jpg

See All Awards

About Me[edit]

Gerry spark.JPG

I am, in fact, not Gerry Cheevers himself. I may have been him in a past life, although that is unlikely as Cheevers is in fact still alive at this point. I am, however, a 23-year old research analyst from Boston with a boring desk job who enjoys alternative rock and candlepin bowling. I stumbled across Uncyclopedia one day in 2007, and have been unable to tear myself away from it since. My goal is essentially to make people laugh as hard as I laughed when I first read the article on Bears. If I can be 1/10th as humorous as that, then I have succeeded. I like to aimlessly wander around Uncyclopedia. I think I might be physically addicted. Help! Every once in a while I get motivated enough to churn out a full article. I also like to help out fellow Uncyclopedians, so if you're ever looking for a rewrite, Pee Review, cool template, or any kind of opinion on anything, I'm your man. Satisfaction is guaranteed![1] Lately, I've taken up trying to be a useful bugger, what with my efforts to take over the UnSignpost, Imperial Colonization, the Proofreading Service, and whatnot.

Wandering Rant of the Week[edit]

whose cruel idea was it to put the letter 's' in the word 'lisp'?


The Lobster War[edit]

Useless Clutter[edit]

Grand Cross of the Order
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It is probably not a sock puppet, but hopefully an automated or semi-automated account for making repetitive edits that would be extremely tedious to do manually (or so we'd like you to think).
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This user is awesome.

High five!


of Der Unwehr


  1. Guarantee is not a Guarantee.