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Writer of the Month Award Writer of the Month March 2010

Uncyclopedian of the Year Award Uncyclopedian of the Year 2007

This user is not on vacation, sabbatical, administrative leave, or otherwise goofing off with the knowledge and/or consent of the Admins. He has actually just put this template here in a desperate attempt to prevent people from vandalising his user page. His expected date of return is yesterday. If you're lonely, or you miss them, leave a message.


UN:Vote for Good Articles!
List of Pee Reviewers
My... um... "guest book" for you to sign?
Stop hand nuvola alternate.svg
This user has been blocked
204 times.


“That Cajek fellow removed my custom quote from his page. Bastard.”

"Henry is a horse and lives in a stable full of hay. haha cum face maggot sheep" - From Herny Farnell

Calculus Problem.JPG
Calculus is like bringing a hooker back to your hotel room, only to find out that the hooker is a big hairy guy with multiple felony convictions, but the guy won't leave without you paying, so you figure you might as well make use of his services... and then he rapes you and steals all your money and leaves you blindfolded and handcuffed to a radiator blowing steam in your face.”
~ Calculus

ViewPurgeSuggest QuotesQuote of the Day


21:53, 22 July 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) huffed "Slappy's Angels" ‎ (VFD - I throw in anotherv invisible vote to put these at -4/-5 (YEAH I'M TOO LAZY TO EDIT)

~ Special:log


And now, a look into a past issue of Uncyclopedia's own newspaper, Unsignpost...

You'd think I'd learn that this isn't fun to do... Oh well. Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 19:36, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

Unsignpost! June 25th or 30th[edit]

We're not late you're just high!    Orian57    Talk   Union pink.jpg 14:09 30 June 2009

UnSignpost: July 2nd, 2009[edit]

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 18:43, 3 July 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 9th July 2009[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png 21:52, Jul 9

UnSignpost: 16th July 2009[edit]

Extrasolar intelligence revealed! By this fish! By the way, if this was in the UnNews, it would be called: UnNews:Wierd fish that can detect radio waves "detected" alien conversation from a nearby planet.Flutter Tuwoolookie! | My History | Brute! 18:58, 16 July 2009

UnSignpost: July 16nd, 2009[edit]

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 21:52, 16 July 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost: July 23rd, 2009[edit]

This edition is on time, and anyone who tells you differently is lying! THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 17:45, 24 July 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost: July 30th, 2009[edit]

It's on time, you were just high and didn't realize when it got here! THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 19:55, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost! August 9th, 2009!! WE BE LATE, Y'ALL!!![edit]

Hand delivered by Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 21:16, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 13th August 2009. It's not late. You are![edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png 19:59, Aug 18

UnSignpost 20th August, it's not late, your mom is![edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png 10:57, Aug 24

UnSignpost 4th September[edit]

-- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 16:37, September 4, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost Randomber 45th[edit]

In contrast to this, please think of the Scott Walker cellphones! Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 01:32, 7 September 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost September 10/17[edit]

Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/17-09-09 This would've gotten here last week, but it's my firs week as paperboy and I got lost. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 23:31, September 22, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost: September 24th, 2009[edit]

Hand delivered by Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 15:59, September 26, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost: October 1st, 2009[edit]

Late deliver courtesy of Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 20:04, October 5, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost Sometime October 2009[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png 01:06, Oct 16

UnSignpost 22nd 23rd October 2009[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png 18:03, Oct 23

UnSignpost 29-10-2009[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png 01:26, Nov 3


Late deliver courtesy of Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 23:39, December 29, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost January several-days-agoth[edit]

I swore I'd never hand-deliver this again. Here it is. --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 09:30, Jan 18

UnSignpost 21th January 2009[edit]

Also, it's MrN9000's mum's 60th birthday! 9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png 17:29, Jan 21

UnSignpost 28th January 2010[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png 14:48, Jan 28

UnSignpost 4th February 2010[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png 15:02, Feb 4

UnSignpost 11th February 2010[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png 12:55, Feb 11

UnSignpost 18th February 2010[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png 23:29, Feb 18

UnSignpost 25th February 2010 (It's not late your mum is)[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png 20:35, Feb 28

UnSignpost 4th March 2010 (your calendar is wrong)[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png 00:03, Mar 6

UnSignpost 11th March 2010[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png 10:53, Mar 12

UnSignpost 18th March 2010 (on time as always)[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png 11:39, Mar 18

UnSignpost 25th March 2010 (hand delivered for added flavour)[edit]

UnSignpost 1th April 2010 - Always on time[edit]

PuppyOnTheRadio sig.gif                                                  Friday, 04:43, Apr 2 2010 UTC

UnSignpost 4/8/10 - Oh his Signpost.[edit]

Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 19:47, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 15/4/10 - Yet another on time delivery.[edit]

--ChiefjusticeDS 20:23, April 15, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 1 May[edit]

Brought to you by fucking magic. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 09:47, 1 May 2010




User:Cajek/Unsignpost Ballcradle.jpg

Clock.gif This user has been on Uncyclopedia for
13 years, 2 months and 22 days.


Fuck this shit[edit]

|Dear regular Uncyc members:

You are all being really fucking stupid about this. I mean, an admin strike over a domain name? Really? Hell, I didn't know we were unionised!

But if that's the official position of the main userbase, then I guess fuck it, I'm removing myself from it. Truth be told, I've been coming to Uncyc less and less lately, and this is part of the reason why: too much fucking drama and not enough fucking common sense. Fuck, guys, Nin would be proud of what you've become: Dramapedia.

So in short, I quit. Have fun without me. God help you.

--Hinoa F. Arash

(PS. But before I leave, there's something else I need to do--something I said I'd do if I ever got pissed off enough at this place. Hold on a second; you'll see it.)


|Q|V|F|D| |&| |N|o|f|u|
    my anti-drug
You have Nofu massages.

“Пламена ада покроют ваше тело в горящей боли.”

~ Ggarfield on being evil

You were whored once by an evil man who has gone from the dark side to the side of goodness. He has ended his whoring ways. he has crawled out of his swamp of depression. He has taken up golf and fishing. He has shaved his face. He has taken a shower. He has eaten breakfast. He has put on a white suit. He has gone back to work. He has gotten engaged. He has taken away the hot picture that used to be here. This template replaces the evil whoring he once did. He is sorry. This message was paid for with positive energy and love

Whore of the Month Award Whore of the Month December 2007


“As far as adopters go, Ggarfield is more "behind the scenes"”

~ Cajek on not being adopted by Garfield

“I may be discreet, but I always keep an eye on my adoptees”

~ Le Marquis de Nofu on watching Cajek have sex

6.5 This user has written 6.5 articles because they like to keep busy while shirking real life responsibilities.


User goodthink U.W.P member.
Helper of needy, destroyer of ungood.


Member of the Order
Gun Using Nutcase

Ggarfield, Le Marquis de Nofu, the man with the golden Nofu[edit]

Ask not with this user can do for you, ask what you can do for this user!

Hi I'm Ggarfield, and I like fishing. Trout taste good. I want a Browning Citori. I also like pie. Ok, ok, I get bored of randomness quickly, just like <insert name here>, but lets face it, I'm totally nuts full of inner randomness. I mean,come on, just picture someone who knows more about guns than a Field Officer, can knit a sweater that would not only fit your fat ass you overweight foo YOU, but would win you countless complements from old women, can bake, loves fishing, web development, goes to online school, writes for his school paper, and finally, has a vast knowledge of many types of history. I'm pretty nuts like I said fricken awesome, eh? Furthermore, I like English and Science and shooting clay pigeons and hunting deer and making websites, and now I'm here! Watch out, I will probably have taken over your brain within a number of minutes after reading this!


There is no other like Favre. This man is like Super-Jesus-Master-of-the-North!

<insert name here>:If this is a BIO, then what was that?

Ggarfield: Never you mind. Anyway, here's a poetry BIO:

I come from the state of Wisconsin,

The land of the milk and the cheese,

Where God speaks only with cheeseheads,

It's ironic that cheese makes me sneeze.


(Adapted from famous colonial rhyme about Boston)

Final Thoughts[edit]

Miss Unsoc.png

Seriously, if you want to talk about some article I've written, or just leave me some random award that I wouldn't deserve other than the fact that it means nothing anyway, add (with the +) some talk in the discussion area. Use a subject. If you are an admin, I want you to make my rank more official! It is already very official part of the way there, but you could help. Ask me how.

If you want to feel the love, go find a hooker! go away! I'm cynical, I can't spell without Spellchecker, and I am a member of a select branch of aristocracy known as the Nofu. I'm also notedly funny, and I DO specialize in making fun of the people that love Jesus, by loving Jesus in my own way. Contrary to popular belief, Jesus wasn't funny until I met him, and spiced things up. It spread like wild fire. My religion is Canadianism.

Don't believe it? Check it: Canadian_Jesus and Communist_Jesus

Also try:

Wire tapping - Yeah, it's my favorite

UnNews:FOX NEWS Buys Uncyclopedia - need I say more?

Model 94 Winchester - It's not at all Bad, and it's not entirely mine - I collaborated with user:MaddMax

Goroxide Ultimatum

user:Ggarfield/FDA - This is my latest project still in its fledgling stages. It will be great some day soon!

user:Ggarfield/Order_of_Nofu - The order of Nofu Project will begin shortly

user:Ggarfield/Bank of Nofu - a Bank were we Nofu Aristocrats keep our dough

User:Ggarfield/A Series of Unformal Events - It's an UnBook in the making

UnBooks:The Bootylicious Beginning - it's made!

Once again, thanks! (Or did I even thank you nofus in the first place?)