User:GopherKiller/Why? Wear Guy Liner

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Gay emos everywhere put down those knives and My Chemical Romance cds and get to your local Hot Topic. Our new product will blow your mind! Other gay emos will want to stick to you like all those syringes stick into your arms.

Promotional campaign for Guy Liner


Why wear Guy Liner?[edit]

Well, your blatant homosexuality has sent you spiraling in to the world of emos. Finding another emo partner is hard enough especially when your looking for a gay one. I mean come on! Whose ever heard of a gay emo? But, your the special one of the bunch. You manage to be different while still following the emo traditions of dyed hair, long bangs and listening to horrid music so loud it pisses everyone else off. Well, our product Guy Liner is just the thing for you. It's formulated just like all other mens eye liner but has just a hint of fresh blood and Davey Havok hair to lure other gays towards you. Just slap it on and prepare to be swarmed like when a prisoner drops the soap in the shower. Gay's will follow you constantly even camp outside your house while you sleep. Guy Liner, it's just right for all your gay emo needs!

Effects and Side-Effects[edit]

Well, just brush Guy Liner on and see the effects unfold in front of your eyes. Gay emos will be so attracted to you they wont leave you alone. You'll be just like Jimi Hendrix at Woodstock. Or, even like Barney in a crowd of pre-schoolers. Common side effects include inevitable suicide, happiness, and frequent smiling. Although, Guy Liner is strongly recommended for gay emos, it should not be worn by any gay who isn't an emo. Guy Liner worn on the face of a non-emo is the ultimate people repellent. Not even other regular homosexuals will come close to you. You will become the laughing stock of the whole area/country/universe. Eventually, you too will become emo due to the strong unrelenting harassment of your peers. Thus, the cycle is complete! Now, we need a product that will make the rest of the population emos, thus creating mass suicide and eventually earn us world domination! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahaha...Shit! Wait DISREGARD that! Well,so uhh...All you gay emos get to Hot Topic or other emo store and buy Guy Liner TODAY to fix all those gay emo dating problems you might encounter before your life abruptly ends with suicide.


Disclaimer[edit]

No! Guy Liner is not a elaborate plan to take over the world! It is not a plan to make all of the world population commit suicide nor will it ever be!