User:Guildensternenstein/Der Unwehr

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The emblem of Der Unwehr.

Fellow Uncyclopedians! Today represents a great victory over internet-memeism! For too long has our great site been the victim of the vile, infantile dross that is the internet meme. But fear not! For today, the tables are turned.

[thunderous applause]

Our glorious Unwehr shall exterminate, liquidate, and destroy all the internet-memeism that has plagued our great site. Through blood, and iron, and sacrifice, our wiki shall be rebuilt!

[thunderous applause]

Just kidding.

Der Unwehr is a usergroup dedicated to improving Uncyclopedia through rewriting articles; creating new, desired articles; and generally policing the site by adding rewrite and other templates as they are needed to articles that deserve them. The thing that sets Der Unwehr apart from similar user groups, however, is that the members of Der Unwehr work individually. Unlike those Commie, Collectivist bastards at IC, who work in a great big unwieldy group regardless of how inefficient and creatively stifling it is, members of Der Unwehr seek out articles on their own, and write/rewrite them at their own pace. It's the Capitalist method of wiki-improvement. The purpose of this usergroup is not to regulate or litigate, but to motivate writers by rewarding them for quality work. If you're interested, read on: anyone can join. There's no "article quota" you have to fill, and there's no limit to group membership. Just sign up (sign up below), and get working!

The Purpose of Der Unwehr[edit]

It can basically be summed up in one phrase: improve the wiki. However, this has many facets, as follows:

#1: Rewriting Existing Articles[edit]

Articles that need to be rewritten can be found at Category:Rewrite and User:Saberwolf116/Der Unwehr list. You are not limited to that, however. If you come across a really bad—or even average—article, and think you can do a better job, go ahead and fix that shit up, or at very least throw the {{Re-Write}} tag on it.

Note: Please remove an article from Der Unwehr list after you've finished rewriting it.

#2: Cleaning Up Existing Articles[edit]

Some articles have a good underlying concept, but are just poorly formatted, incomplete, or just downright messy. Articles that need to be "cleaned up" can be found at Category:Cleanup.

#3: Creating New, Desired Content[edit]

Lists of "wanted" articles can be found at:

Find a page off one of these pages, and write an article about it!

#4: Policing the Site[edit]

Basically, going around, adding "rewrite" templates as they're needed (but not too liberally), etc. Other things, like fixing redlinks and the like are also encouraged.

#5: The Complete Liquidation of Internet Memeism on Uncyclopedia[edit]

Internet memes are retarded, infantile, and unfunny. It is my own personal dream to have this site meme-free by the end of 2010.


The Points[edit]

Ranks are given out based on a "points system." It goes like this:

  • Rewrite an article (and make it better): 2 Points
  • "Clean up" an article: 1 Point
  • Write an article off one of the three aforementioned lists: 2 Points
  • Get an article you wrote/rewrote for Der Unwehr featured: 2 additional Points (4 total Points for the article)
  • Get an article you wrote/rewrote for Der Unwehr a Top 3 of the Month spot: 3 additional Points (7 total Points)
  • Get an article you wrote/rewrote for Der Unwehr a Top 10 of the Year spot: 5 additional Points (12 total Points)

It is therefore possible to get a maximum of 12 Points for one article.

You can also be awarded additional Points for doing a good job in other facets of Der Unwehr. If you feel that you've done something that warrants additional Points, feel free to hit me up on my talkpage, and I'll see what I can do for you.

In addition, you do not get points for rewriting your own articles. That is to say, you cannot write a shitty article, come back to it in a month, make it better, and expect to get 2 Points for it.

The Ranks[edit]

Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein, the glorious leader of Der Unwehr.

The ranks of Der Unwehr are as follows:

  • Soldat / 0 Points
  • Leutnant (Lt) / 2 Points
  • Hauptman (Hptm) / 5 Points
  • Major (Maj) / 10 Points
  • Oberst (Oberst) / 15 Points
  • Brigadegeneral (BrigGen) / 20 Points
  • Generalmajor (GenMaj) / 30 Points
  • Generalleutnant (GenLt) / 40 Points
  • General (Gen) / 50 Points
  • Generaloberst (GenOberst) / 60 Points
  • Generalfeldmarschall (GenFM) / 75 Points
  • Reichsmarschall (RM) / 100 Points

The leader of Der Unwehr is entitled to wear the title of Unführer.

Other special ranks, like Uncycpoführer and Propagandameister will be given out as they are needed.

You also have the option of making your sig additionally German. If, through the Order of Uncyclopedia, you have the right to be called "sir," you can take the title "von" instead. If you are a Knight/Dame, you may take the title "Ritter" instead. The taking of various other German-sounding names is also encouraged.


Membership is as easy as adding your name to the chart below (provided you know how to; it really isn't all that hard).

Member Points Rank/Title
Template:U 53 Unführer
Template:U 0 Hermann Wilhelm Göring
Template:U N/A Uncycpoführer
Template:U N/A Propagandameister
Template:U 23 Brigadegeneral
Template:U 62 General Oberst (but D-Fox)
Template:U 0 Soldat
Template:U 20 Brigadegeneral
Template:U 0 Soldat
Template:U 2 Leutnant
Template:U 0 Soldat
Template:U 12 Major
Template:U 22 Brigadegeneral
Template:U 6 Hauptman
Template:U 14 Major
Template:U 0 Soldat
Template:U 16 Oberst
Template:U 21 Brigadegeneral
Template:U 9 Hauptman
Template:U 27 Brigadegeneral
Template:U 2 Leutnant
Template:U 6 Hauptman
Template:U 6 Hauptman
Template:U 17 Oberst
Template:U 6 Hauptman
Template:U 2 Leutnant
Template:U 0 Soldat
Template:U 18 Oberst
Template:U 73 Generaloberst
Template:U 0 Soldat
Template:U 6 Hauptman
Template:U 0 Soldat
Template:U 0 Soldat
Template:U 0 Soldat
Template:U 18 Oberst
Template:U 13 Major
Template:U 0 Soldat

Additional Stuff[edit]

Der Unwehr scorecard[edit]

  • Articles: 67
  • Features: 30

Unwehr Victories[edit]

You must keep track (for the purpose of records) of all the articles you've written/rewritten for Der Unwehr here:

Calling Dibs[edit]

You may "call dibs" on articles you want reserved for yourself here:

You may claim to as many articles as you want, within reason. So long as you write/rewrite them at some point, it really doesn't matter. or what else you can say 'bout that, fool...

Special Point Tabulation[edit]

"Special" Points awarded will be kept track of here:


Rank templates can be found HERE.

Other templates are:

069f11-1.jpg ZU MACHEN!!
Sie gibt! This article is horribly in need of a re-write, but do not delete it. If able, you may re-write it. If you are too weak, contact a member of Der Unwher immediately. Heil!
069f11-1.jpg Dieser Benutzer ist ein offizielles Mitglied Der Unwehr. Wir sind hier zu die Schwachen töten und die Starke bauen. Sieg Heil!