User:Iwillkillyou333/Nisshin Maru

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The Nisshin Maru

The Nisshin Maru is a whaling vessel use by the Japanesse Whalin Fleet. Its not a harpoon ship; instead it is a whale factory ship. No its not a actuall factory stupid, it means its where killed whales are brought onboard and cut into pieces for their meat and sold in Japan.

Early Days[edit]

During the early days the Japanesse decided to build a boat. When asked, one Japanesseworker said "Why? Because we want to, that's why, mother fucker! We're Japanesse, they can do whatever they want cause they're gansta, nigga!" So they build it for forty days and forty nights. When they finished the final touches, they all had a party and got drunk and laid. But then they forgot one thing; the name of the ship. Because they did not want to spend their entire time thinking of a name, because they were still drunk, they just named it Bob. The special thing about the ship is it has a ramp at the back of the ship.

The ship was intentionally use as a cruise ship for grues, since they are native to Japan, and the Japanesse thought they were the cutest things despite their sharp teeth. On the ship the grues are given American sweet southern ice tea (hell yeah!) and a box of yummy chocolates. They are treated with foot massages, back rubs, teeth cleaning, and Japanesse yogo for comfort for the grues. The have hot tubs, kids play areas for gruelings, and good Japanesse music. They are taken to different places like the Bahamas, Cuba (don't kmow why), California, FLorida, Disney World, Kanto, and Chuck Norris Beach and Island. This lasted for three years until an incident happened on board the ship, not with the grues, but with people. Three British men came on the to work. However, all of a sudden the grues brutally ate them. This shocked all of Japan, as they didn't know why they did not attack any of the Japanesse employees; it was later found out since grues and the Japs lived together for so long, they forbid themselves to eat them, but would eat anybody else. The British government responded by having the grues responsible brutally killed despite their pleads of mercy. To prevent another incident, they shut down the cruise services and Bob was retired.

Service in Playboy[edit]

DAMN! Fine girls on a boat.

Later in history the Japanesse government decided to sell it in America, where it was sold to Hugh Hefner, owner of Playboy. He decided to rename it, so then it was called The Bitch Boat. On the boat where damn, fine ladies with hot bodies. This time, the purpose of the boat is that men would ride around the world with hot ladies in thier laps. The ladies would be happy to have some private time with any of the men onboard. Men between 18-90 were welcomed. Each man was supplied with a box of condoms, and those who didn't used them were kicked off. However, this only lasted for four years until men started throwing unused condom off the boat, killing sealife who think its food and angering enviromentist. Greenpeace complained so much that services also shut down, angering alot of men.

Joining the Japanesse Whaling Fleet[edit]

The ship was returned to Japan after finding out they have been ripped off with playboy money instead of real money. They demanded it back or they will burn Heffy's Mansion down and cut off his balls. After words, they begin to think about what to do with it. Two years later after unsucessful attempts to sell it, the Japanesse whaling fleet decicded to buy it cause they needed a place to put the whales they killed, because whale meat tends to go rotten after a while. So the government decided to sell it to them. During this time a new name was being thought up. They later named it Nisshin Maru, because one Japaneese whaler got pissed off at another worker and kicked him in the knee and shin. The guy screamed, in his native Japanesse language, "You kicked my knee and shin you fucktard!" and the captain thought that was ta great idea, minus the "and". It was changed to Nisshin to make it Japanesse, and added Maru since their whole fleet had that at the end of there names.


The Nisshin Maru's job is quite simply; it waits until a whale is killed and brings it up to be process. Although thats too short to be understood. Heres a more indepth explanation; the Nisshin Maru goes around looking at nice sights of iceburgs, sea water, iceburgs, penguins, iceburgs, seals, iceburgs, dolphins, more iceburgs, thier own ship, and even more icburgs, annoying Greenpeace and Sea Shepherd ships, and big iceburgs, other ships of the Japanesse whaling fleet, and..........iceburgs (hey in the Antartic waters, thats about all you can see is iceburgs, and sea water). Until one of the spotter ships (for example the Kaiko Maru) spots a nice sight of whales to be hunted and mercilessly killed, and the Nisshin stops at a nice cozy area with nice lookin iceburgs. When one of the Harpoon ships makes a kill, they bring the killed whale to the Nisshin Maru were it is pulled up on the slipway behind the ship onboard. Then the workers cut up the whale into pieces which is called processing, and then packaged to be shipped to Japan to be sold. Simple enough, if it wasn't for those meddling activist people, at times keeping the Nisshin Maru running like a coward making it harder too bring up whales.


There are currently no known lethal weapontry, but do have other things to fight with.

Annoying lady saying warning[edit]

Water Cannons[edit]


Short for "Long Range Accustic Devices", these things are absolutly no joke. Used by the military for crowd patrol and for ships to stop pirates and stopping Kayne West from doing another stunt like he did with Taylor Swift, these things use not bullets, but sound, which really really REALLY really loud, enough to stop a grue even.

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