User:Iwillkillyou333/Worst Day on my Computer
This event follows the tale of Bob Lucas, a 26 year old suburban guy, as he experiences the worst day of his life on the computer. Since the age of eighteen he loves to get on the internet. He went on so many times for a long period of time that now he is addicted to the computer. For seven years he been on the computer, even giving up college and has few friends, and works at Wal-mart, but only uses his money on food, electricity, Internet, and computer equipment. He's been on so long, he has very little strength, wears the same dirt clothes every day and never buys new ones, very pale, and always sleepy, but he isn’t fat because he's a vegetarian. He doesn’t even bathe, which is very unhealthy. He never had a problem with his computer, always having good internet connection, no viruses, nothing that goes wrong. But today he will find out that even computers can be a real pain in the hindquarters.
Its eight o-clock in the morning, time to get on my computer.
Gets on Computer
Well, I'm on my computer, getting ready to check my email, and do some cool stuff. Now lets what we have her.... huh, an error? Oh great, I'm on my computer for 1 minute and I already got an error. Oh well, lets see what it says.
A butterfly in my computer? Thats unusual. Oh well. Lets check my email. Oh its from Jim. It says, "Hey Bob, when are you getting off your ass and enjoy the outdoors. Its a beautiful day." Oh please, I don't need to go outside. I'll send him a email saying, "I'll get sun burn." Ha ha. Send. I'm so smart. Now its time to watch shit on youtube.
Ok, thats enough of youtube. Now to... what?
What the fuck? Why do I need to restart my computer just because I moved my mouse. And can't cancel out of this. God damn it! Fine, I'll restart. Can't believe I'm doing this.
Retarts his Computer
Ok, now time to.... now what?
Oh yeah? I like to see you try.
Ten minutes later
Ha! Nothing happened. Stupid computer. Oh look, I got a message from Jim. It says, "Your just saying that because you can't move your ass off your chair and from your computer." Oh fuck him, now I got a message from Jessica. It says, "Why did you by me a pair of glasses while I have perfect vision?" I'll just put, "Because you almost hit a bunny while driving, you damn whore." Send. Never really like her. And the email to get one billion dollars is also here. All I have to do is click on the link and.... now what?
What? No! I had't click the link yet, don't delete! I can't cancel out of this! Ok, ok, I'll just restart the computer.
Restart his computer
Ok, that was a close one. Now time to get my one billion dol.... What?
Looks at sceen in shock
Bangs head on keyboard, face bleeds
I can't believe my chance at winning one billion dollars had went down the toilet. That was a once in a life time offer, something you can't ever get again. Oh well, what goes around comes around. Back to computer business. An email from Jessica. It says, "Ha ha, very funny you fucking asshole. Why don't you go down to the joke store and learn some better jokes." Fuck you, whore. Anyway I think I'll write Jeff a letter. Um, what the hell, I can't type anything on here, whats going on?
Well, thanks for telling me my keyboard is not responding, but I don't think pressing any key would help if my keyboard isn't responding, now would it?
Ten Seconds later
Didn't think so. Luckily I have a spare.
Goes to closet, find keyboard, replace old key board with new keyboard
There, problem solved. Lets see if that new video of Everybody Hates Chris is on Youtube. I'll send Jeff a letter later.
Gets on Youtube
And it is on. Ok. Nice. Haha thats funny. And here comes the good par....what?
What, no, don't delete it. Its the best show. No, dont' delete! No no no no no no no no no no no!
NOOOOO!!!!! FUCK YOU!!!!!
flicks off his computer with both hands
As you can see, my computer is acting funny. It never done this before.
Female Technician: Well, I dont see any problem with it.
Female Technician: Yes, I am.
You think that's normal? I don't think thats normal.
Female Technician: Well, the monitor looks ok.
Female Technician: Aw, isn't that cute.
Not really, sounds stupid
Female Technician: Well, your computer is just a normal computer, but maybe you can go to Best Buy and buy a new computer. And that will be 50 bucks.
Um, do you take credit card
Female Technician: Afraid not
Ok, hold on.
Takes out a hundred dollar bill
Got change for a hundred
Female Technician:Let me check my bag
(whisper to computer) Shut up you stupid computer.
Female Technician:Sorry, only got ten dollars
Keep the change
Female Technician:Have a good day sir.
Ok, now time to take a online test.
Ten minutes later
Man I don't know anything on here. Hey, I got that book, maybe it can help. Nobody will ever know. Hahaha
2 minutes later
Done! That was easy. Send. There! Now to wait for my results......What is it this time.
Oh really? Well I like to see you try to prove it.
Dammit I hate you!
Mad Guy: BOY YOU BETTER RETAKE THAT TEST AND NOT CHEAT THIS TIME OR I'LL BEAT YOU TO NEXT YEAR! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!?!
(Pointing at computer) You are worthless. Now I have to take this test again. Ok lets see here. What is question one? It says, "Who invented Microsoft." I dont know, ummmm. Albert Einstien?
What do you mean thats wrong?
Why is it wrong.
I didn't know that!
Robot busts through wall
Robot: Crush, kill, destroy! Crush, kill, destroy!
screams like a girl, with a higher pith
After a gruesome and epic chase around the neighborhood that nobody lives in but him and some old guy, he returns to his house, all cut up, bruised up, and burned
Damn, why am I having a day like this, I never had a bad day, especially on my computer, it's like it has a brain on its own now. What, another error sign, wht is it this time, dammit.
Wait, come on Windows, I didn't mean all those things I said.
Look, you don't understand.
Come on guys, I've been having a bad day.
This is one horrible day. Well, it can't get any worst....what?
What! Thirty seconds! I don't have that much time! I got to get out of here!
Runs to car, tries to start it
Why won't this thing start?
Looks at gas meter, which points to E
Oh shit, you got to be kidding me!
Gets out of car, starts running
This is the worst day on my computer ever! Damn you Jessica!
Nuclear missle strikes
Oh shit! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Dies in explosion