User:Jeffers

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to navigation Jump to search

User:Jeffers/recon User:Jeffers/articlebell

“I have no idea what I'm doing...”

~ Jeffers on his contributions to Uncyclopedia

“Pretentious, egotistical and slightly camp...He’s my kind of guy.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Jeffers

“...the clever-dumb balance is restored.”

~ MINT ads on Jeffers
The jeffers
Jeffers.jpg
Scientific classification
Kingdom United
Phylum WTF?
Class B223
Order Lacking
Family Disfunctionalus
Genus Homo
Species Awesomeus
Binomial name
God
Specifications
Primary armament Xbox 360 controller
Secondary armament Rolled up newspaper
Power supply AA
Health 1
Mana 1337
Strength 0.3
Intelligence Incalcuable
Weight Negligible
Length 6ft
Special attack Spaz
Conservation status
One and only

Jeffers is perhaps the biggest waste of human resourses to date, right after hippies, Jade Goody and Poland. In his entire existance he has never achieved, improved or asploded anything, making his total contributions to the world comparable with god. In fact, if the govenment did not insist on taxing EVERYONE, there would be no record of Jeffers' existance. Why are you even reading his userpage?

Habits[edit]

Notable activities include:

  • Sleeping
  • Eating
  • Sleeping
  • Complaining (Jeffers is 127% British, 97% raddish)
  • Sleeping
  • Plotting world domination
  • Sleeping
  • Playing Xbox
  • Not sleeping...followed by sleeping
  • Not attending college - get your ass in now.

Diet[edit]

Jeffers' diet is observed to consist almost entirely of Lucozade and Weetos. How he manages to survive on such little nourishment has been the subject of literally three studies. None providing useful results.

Obsession with Xbox Live[edit]

Playing Halo has been proved to be the most worthless thing a person can do, so naturally, Jeffers is almost always doing it.

He is considerably devoted to unlocking Recon armour, which is why he plasters his stupid template over anything REMOTELY Halo related...

Otherwise his gamertag is completely unremarkable, although his gamerscore is OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAND!!!!

http://card.mygamercard.net/gel/blue/The+jeffers.png