User:Jocke Pirat/TheRegister/Congress

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Sound of banging gavel

All rise, User Congress is now in session!

Welcome to the User Senate Floor. This is the place where all the issues are resolved.

  • If you aren't a senator or part of this congress for that matter, you can propose issues to solve.
  • If you are a senator, you can participate in fixing the issues.
  • If you are a speaker or an admin, you can close issues.
  • Feel free to lobby our senators, bankers.
  • New issues go on top.

Current Issues[edit]

My, my...[edit]

  • Issue: Jocke left Uncyclopedia, so we are... kinda... dead.


  • We could move the page, assign a new person to lead/ create diagram, or abandon it.

First Vote: Move it to my scope Meaning the title would be User:Evil Pi/TheRegister.

Second Vote: Move it to Tom Mayfair's scope

Third Vote: Have Tom Lead it

Admin jobs? Question marks?[edit]


  • I'm for it, but it also has to do with activity of the admin. I'm been busy as hell gettin' my 3rd bedroom ready for my baby-to-be. I did to the {{V}} earlier today though. Activity is the key. I won't place a vote unless the other admins agree to terms... which requires 'em to be active... Premier Tom Mayfair
  • I'm no op here, but I've got other wikis I have to admin and I think that an archival bot might be a good idea, and shortpages should have a good purge once in a while; but users should bring attention to it when it's getting really bad. Users are key here. ~ Tophatsig.png 28/10/2007 @ 21:30

Vote for or against admin jobs[edit]

Well, I haven't decided yet, I want to hear what the ops say, first. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon.gif(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 00:34, Oct 22

I imagine they say very little. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)

Senate Janitorial Services[edit]

Ahem, Mister Speaker? The floors are rather dirty, mind if I clean up?-- Phlegm Leoispotter * (garble! jank!) 23:26, 20 September 2007 (UTC)

Yes, you may. Just don't run the buffer too loud. ~ Tophatsig.png 20/09/2007 @ 23:29
Thank you. I'd also like to take this opportunity to thank God, Allah, Buddha, or whatever deity is reigning up there, for allowing me to be elected to the most prestigious position of janitor. I shall sweep the Senate Chamber with great pride! /me beams and commences sweeping the floor.-- Phlegm Leoispotter * (garble! jank!) 23:32, 20 September 2007 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia's Official Muffin[edit]

  • Issue: Uncyclopedia does not have an official muffin, so as the bored politicians we are we need to declare this utterly useless thing.

Proposals to Fix Issue[edit]

I say we nom and vote for a handful of muffins. Should it be based on the muffin's deliciousness, or on its humorousness? P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon.gif(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 23:33, Sep 20

Vote on Using Proposal for Issue[edit]

  • Some people... some people prefer cupcakes exclusively while myself, I say, there is nought nor ought there be nothing so exalted on the face of Gods gray Earth as that prince of foods... the Muffin. A dense but radiant muffin of my own design would be best. Perhaps with a little rosette. --Littleboyonly.jpg TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly.jpg 23:38, 20 September 2007 (UTC)
  • Make it a green rosetta, and you've got my vote. -RAHB 23:09, 22 September 2007 (UTC)

Fund Allocation for Assistant Janitor[edit]

  • Issue: Spaz wants to be a Janitor, but we're using those funds to build a bridge to the world's largest pickle on the local island.

Proposals to Fix Issue[edit]

I will not allow this mere pretender to share my position! -- Phlegm Leoispotter * (garble! jank!) 23:32, 20 September 2007 (UTC)

Let Spaz be a Janitor, so that when Leo can't do it, he can. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 23:40, 20 September 2007 (UTC)
But then I'll have to take a ferry to see the world's largest pickle! ~ Tophatsig.png 20/09/2007 @ 23:42
I'll let you use a Grue Army Dropship. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 23:44, 20 September 2007 (UTC)
Or we can use the surplus pontoon Transport ships. They actually make good bridges. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 23:57, 20 September 2007 (UTC)
Let's just stick to buildin' that bridge in my name as planned. Premier Tom Mayfair
We can get the pontooon bridge named after you, and we get Spaz as a replacement janitor. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 04:46, 21 September 2007 (UTC)

Vote on Using Proposal for Issue[edit]

Final Decision[edit]

We create a pontoon bridge from private militia funds and spaz gets assistant janitor. ~ Tophatsig.png

27/09/2007 @ 01:16

  • Ruled final by Maj. Leader: Yes
  • Ruled final by Min. Leader: Yes
  • Ruled final by presiding Admin: No


  • Issue Wikia is taxing the people. Nuke or not? They also cut off our water supply, and redirected all the travelers to thier website.

Proposals to fix the issue[edit]

Vote on using proposal for this issue[edit]

UNSOC-UNATO tension problems[edit]

Votes for forced peace[edit]

Send in the Shock Troopers. The ones with Riot Guns, not Tasers. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 04:45, 21 September 2007 (UTC)

Since both of them are antivandal groups, they shouldn't bicker. ~ Tophatsig.png

22/09/2007 @ 15:01

The trouble is, the idea of their group is based off of "communism sucks", while UNSOC is based off of "Communism". This tends to create tension. Maybe ask UNATO to stop being "anti-communist" and just be "capitalist"? It seems like that was the root of the near-flamewar on BHOP recently. P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon.gif(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 15:29, Sep 22
They can't help it. They are capitalist after all. You can't expect 'em to understand. Premier Tom Mayfair

Other proposals[edit]

Kill all the unhappy people. -RAHB 23:10, 22 September 2007 (UTC)