If anyone knows how to change a username here...let me know.
|Member of the Order of Uncyclopedia|
This person has successfully registered on Uncyclopedia. They
should be proud of themselves for making such a smart move.
I am the coolest person I've ever known. In fact, I am the coolest person you've ever known, too. I still talk to my stuffed animal Coco Bunny because we're BFF like that. I make queso that's too hot for you to stomach. Heck, I'm too hot for you to stomach. I'm Bob Dylan's Rainy Day Woman #12, and dagnabbit, I blame Seattle on that one. All of it. Jesus is going to rise up from the Brazos River someday to smite Seattle all the way into North Korea, where it will hit Kim Jong Il's faux nukes and sink. I'm a political science major and a complete dork about it, too. The chicken-smuggling operation in Transdniestria? All me, honey chile. All me. I am the only person under 60 within fifty miles of you who still uses the phrase "honey chile." I eat aggies for breakfast and whorns for a midafternoon snack. I live in Waco, but the only cult I belong to is the BIC. Y'know, like the lighter because I like to light stuff on fire, too. I used to be awesome, but now, I'm not so sure. I have a little red car that I use to annihilate pedestrians because they are vermin. Someday I hope that's a little red Porsche. I'm Judge Baylor's manicurist. I do the Kung Fu Hustle in my spare time, and for some reason, Coco Bunny thinks disco is dead. It's only dead because I chopped its head off with a dinner knife. I sent messenger grackles to Thailand once and they took over for a little while. Stupid birds should've stayed there because they poop on my car. I have another Puffalump who eats souls. My quesadilla for dinner tonight tastes like syrofoam because I was too lazy to take it out of the container. I hate to take out the trash because it makes me throw up a little every time. I have a God-little trying to start a nihilist kleptomaniac revolution at Sam Houston State University. I'm mildly offensive and a proud member of the Alliance of Hate. I spend too much time on the internet. I even work on the darn internet! Forget Al Gore, man, I created the internet. Al Gore just created Cindy Sheehan, who needs to be sent back to Seattle with the rest of the dirty hippies in the world. I should run for president of England, just because you know they're eventually gonna have one and I should be the first.
Oh, and I'm also way better than you because I go here.