User:LordKaT/Things I Want To Do Before I Die

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Things I want to do before I die:

  • Rig an elevator's buttons to shock someone every time they're pressed.
  • Get "The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit" officially changed to "Daddy, Junior, and Spook."
  • Be the lowest bidder for a defense department contract, and supply the soldiers with pointed sticks and banana peels.
  • Stand really close to someone on a bus and occasionally sniff them.
  • Enact a mandatory "group hug" moment every time someone enters an elevator.
  • Eat a fruitcake.
  • Star in a cooking show with Emeril Lagasse, then stab him in the face when he says "bam!"
  • See the NY Giants win a motherfucking playoff game.
  • See the NY Rangers win a motherfucking playoff game.
  • Earn over $4.5 million dollars per year.
  • In the event of a water landing, float away, saving half of the passangers (fat people can float really well, y'know).
  • Learn why my farts smell like rotting steak and sour grapes.
  • Stand in a bucket of water during an electrical storm, and curse at the sky.
  • Pretend that time in the High School locker room didn't happen.