User:LordKaT/Things I Want To Do Before I Die
Things I want to do before I die:
- Rig an elevator's buttons to shock someone every time they're pressed.
- Get "The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit" officially changed to "Daddy, Junior, and Spook."
- Be the lowest bidder for a defense department contract, and supply the soldiers with pointed sticks and banana peels.
- Stand really close to someone on a bus and occasionally sniff them.
- Enact a mandatory "group hug" moment every time someone enters an elevator.
- Eat a fruitcake.
- Star in a cooking show with Emeril Lagasse, then stab him in the face when he says "bam!"
- See the NY Giants win a motherfucking playoff game.
- See the NY Rangers win a motherfucking playoff game.
- Earn over $4.5 million dollars per year.
- In the event of a water landing, float away, saving half of the passangers (fat people can float really well, y'know).
- Learn why my farts smell like rotting steak and sour grapes.
- Stand in a bucket of water during an electrical storm, and curse at the sky.
- Pretend that time in the High School locker room didn't happen.