User:LordKaT/Three Brown Trees

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

I, at one point, had always wondered why the trees were always brown in the fall, and thin in the winter. I asked mommy why the trees were always brown, but she never really told me a straight answer, she always told me it had something to do with the black ink drying out form the summer heat, but that didn't make any sense. I mean, I've never seen a black tree, have you?

Well it came to pass that I did, in fact, see a black tree. Alright, so it wasn't naturally black - the local gestapo had painted it black as a warning to the local riffraff not to fuck around, otherwise they would end up on the missing persons list for good - but it was black nonetheless. Well, I had discovered this tree at the beginning of summer. Being the curious guy I was I setup camp near that black tree and watched it all summer long. All summer it remained black, just as I had hypothesized. Then ... one day it was fall. I woke up in eager anticipation to see the black tree turn brown, as mommy had described to me; but, alas, the brown tree was still black.

Disappointed, I thought about heading home for the winter, but a new thought had occurred to me: what if this was a special, out of the ordinary tree? After all, if black trees turned brown in the fall - and this was indeed a black tree - then this tree might be some kind of super-tree.

fascinated with the prospect of finding a super-tree, I raced to the nearest 7-Eleven to buy more supplies to last me the entire. Unfortunately, when I arrived at the 7-Eleven they had closed down because a health inspector had found multiple rats running around the store. Discouraged by this recent development, I set out to find another source of nutrition. I searched far and wide for something edible, and eventually found a place which supplied cheap after-market meat-like substances on a bun. I believe they called them 'hamburgers' but I'm pretty sure i didn't taste any ham in them.

Content that I had found a new source of food, I returned to my campground shocked - shocked, I say - to find that it had been leveled! indeed, my campsite had been striken from the face of the planet and replaced with a water treatment plant.

It turned out that the black tree I was so fascinated with was just a really off-color sewer pipe. So i went home and stabbed mom in the face.

The end.