User:LordKaT/advice

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LordKaT's Words Of Wisdom

  • Don't walk backwards in the rain under three elephants unless theres two mice and a titanium spork hidden in your vest.
  • Three times pie is umptwelve.
  • It takes seventeen years to properly cook a left-handed beaver which has not been marinated properly.
  • Thirty-two sailors are just too many, make sure you have at most thirty-one, with a spare in your car trunk.
  • Never, under any circumstances, untie a llama foaming at the mouth unless you're prepared to do battle with a fire hydrant.
  • Always tip an armed delivery boy.
  • Never tip an unarmed delivery boy.
  • The foot grows bigger in the left hand of a naked walrus.
  • Are you really reading this? Stop it.
  • There are three missing fingers on each of your amputated mice.
  • Running forwards while trying to look backwards will give you such a headache!
  • Trying to untie your shoes while playing basketball is an easy way to lose a finger.
  • Don't try to dunk that basketball, you're white.
  • Reading this list will case you to shoot blood out of your ears.
  • There's no way to reset your computer without a hammer and shotgun.
  • The best cure for any problem is three cases of whiskey and a fully-loaded AK-47.
  • Magazines are not to be confused with reading material.
  • Shooting yourself with a bullet can be very detrimental to your health, unless you're trying to find an afterlife.
  • There is no god, there is only the almighty walrus.
  • Peeing on an electric fence is bad.