User:Mhaille/Third-Person Limited Omniscient

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Mhaille/Third-Person Limited Omniscient.

“The reader reached across for their thesaurus and vigorously began to skim through the pages...”

Your stubby fingers thumb through the pages, passing tinge and tolerate before skipping back. "Thraldom? What sort of a word is that?" you silently wonder, before your eyes dart upwards searching out the required word. You scan the definition, several times, in an effort to get your head around the concept.

third person - noun grammatical forms, such as pronouns and verbs, used when referring to the person or thing spoken or written of, not to the person speaking or writing or to the person or persons address.

Your agile mind moves to consider the tub of Ben and Jerry's icecream in your freezer. It is "Chunky Monkey" flavour, your favourite. You look down at your thick thighs and vow to exercise more. Maybe next week. For now you attempt to focus on searching through the index of that book on how to write good, but still this is very unclear. "Maybe another search through the thesaurus might help?" you think whilst slurping on your kingsize Coke Cola.

limited - adj confined within bounds; lacking imagination or originality.

Unbeknown to the reader their partner of four years is having an affair with their best friend. Your lack of intellect is an issue, but the main issue they have with you is the sex, or more to the point the lack of it. Also the quality when you do get around to play hide the salami.

omniscient - adj knowing all things.

"Erm....." you mumble, beads of sweat forming on your fevered brow. The thesaurus falls from your amble lap. You look around the room hoping to find a source of inspiration, pausing to admire your poster of Jessica Alba, before going off to look it up on Wikipedia.