User:MrN9000/Silence of the Lambs
The Silence of the Lambs was a sinister plot in which Anthony Hopkins blackmailed the sheep of the Welsh Snowdonia National park to prevent them from revealing the true reason why he purchased mount Snowdon. ...Oh, and it's a movie, too. Won some awards.
How it all started
Upon the fine lush grassy meadows the highest mountain in Wales the carefree sheep enjoyed a peaceful tranquil existence. Long ago they had developed the necessary speed to outrun sexually frustrated Welshmen, and with the exception of the odd interruption from roaming male choirs their lives were simple and pure.
Down in the valleys of Port Talbot trouble was brewing. A young Anthony Hopkins was struggling to find employment. Queen of England, Margaret Thatcher had closed the coal mines leaving the young Hopkins spending The Remains of the Day wandering the streets of Cardiff feeling that his Hearts in Atlantis.
He needed to escape the drudgery, but did not know how. With features akin to The Elephant Man, a career in acting appeared a distant dream. To hide his Dracula like features Hopkins wore The Mask of Zorro and was able to land a small role in the Royal National Theatre. Despite having a small part, Hopkins became popular with the ladies, and soon drew the attention of Jodie Foster who felt a particular affinity for masked men.
What the Fuck! You said this was about Sheep you fucking Retard!
Like what the hell is all this shit you asshole? First you were going off about sheep, then you started with all this total crap about about valleys (WTF) and choirs and shit? None of that bollocks is funny. Everyone just thinks you are a cock, and they will have stopped reading as soon as they got to the bit about Atlantis. What in god's holy fucking name has this got to do with fucking Atlantis anyway? And I tell you, if you start going on about the bloody Theatre, my ass is history man. I'm telling you. I'm out of here.
The Relationship grows...
For a short time, Hopkins and Foster enjoyed what appeared to be a whirlwind romance. Although the truth was that their relationship was purely one of mutual respect and admiration. Foster would visit Hopkins, and they would take gentle walks together exchanging ideas, and sharing conversation. It was on one of these walks high in the valleys of Cardiff that Hopkins first noticed something which was not as it should be. He had never questioned before why Foster sometimes left him during their walks in the mountains although more recently she had done so more than usual. On this particular day she had been gone far longer than normal.
Finally back to the Fucking Sheep!
And I bet you do to. You take them from behind. I bet you sneak up on the poor things in the dead of night and stick your dick right up their asses. Actually, I bet you just kill the bastards, and fuck their corpses cos you are too much of a fat wanker to catch the little fuckers and hold them still. Just stop talking so much shit, and get back to the point about the fucking sheep will ya?
The Lambs cried
Jodie listened as the tears began to wander down the cheek of the weeping lamb... Could it be true? Could such a sweet young thing as miss Foster really be a sheep eater? The lambs could not believe it, as Foster, turn and ran, from her pocket fell jar. A jar of mint sauce! It was true! The flock scattered.
Fearing that they would bleat, Hopkins purchased the mountain from the sheep for a fee of £1 million pounds.