User:Necropaxx/The Los Angeles Marshmallow Riots of 1992

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
For those without comedic tastes, the "questionable parody" of this website called Wikipedia have an article about Necropaxx/The Los Angeles Marshmallow Riots of 1992.

The Place: Los Angeles, California, USA. A festering wound of racial hatred just waiting to burst. The Time: 1992, in the afternoon. Explosion time. Racially aggravated explosion time. The Event: The Eternally Infamous Los Angeles Marshmallow Riots of 1992. The riots consisted of widespread looting, assault, arson, and murder and caused over $1 billion and a half in damages to the city, with 53 marshmallows dead when the smoke cleared. The Marshmallow riots, or the "Rodney Jet-Puffed Riots," as they are often called, or simply "The Riots" to Angelenos, remain a sensitive and potentially volatile subject of conversation among marshmallows, albeit a quite amusing one to humans.

The UnCalm Before the Storm[edit]

Los Angeles in 1992 was a hotbed of racism. Especially in the afternoon. The riots had several causes other than the immediate trigger. Racial tensions in Los Angeles date back to the time of slavery, where pink marshmallows were kept in forced servitude to white mallows for their entire lives. After slavery, though, feelings of resentment continued to build by the perceived "second-class citizenship" of the pink marshmallows. The situation was only aggravated further by the failure of affirmative action in California. Other factors included the large gap between white and pink marshmallows' standards of living and a controversial court ruling dealing with ethnic prejudice just a few years before the riots. By the early nineties, the bubble was ready to pop. And with style, too.

The immediate trigger of the riots was the Rodney Jet-Puffed court verdict. Rodney Jet-Puffed was a pink marshmallow with a sizeable police record and a rather small brain. This time, Mr. Jet-Puffed was attempting to evade arrest in a getaway car but was trapped by the fuzz.

The fires caused by the rioters spread throughout the city, causing dozens of hapless mallows to be consumed in the flames.