User:P e r f e c t A t h l e t i c i s m/Carolina

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

“If they will not let me build a hotel here, then why would they let Arnold Palmer build a neighborhood...Those Fucking teenagers!”

“The gay ciruit club scene of Myrtle Beach is unlike any in the American South!”

~ Tim McGraw (Gay Ciruit DJ) on Myrtle Beach, SC

“Never in my god damn life have I seen so much damn fucking nice asses in one town!... I might move here!!!”

State of South Carolina
SouthCarolinaFlag.jpg SouthCarolinastateseal.jpg
Flag Coat of Arms
Motto: Only the rich survive
Anthem: The Cock Will Rise Again
Capital Columbia
Largest city Charleston
Highest Elevation Sassafras Mountain – 27,560 feet (8,400 meters)
Governor Sultan Mark Sanford (R)
Time Zone Eastern: UTC-5/-4
Admission to Union May 23, 1998
Population 15,516,227

South Carolina is a state in the southern region of the United States. The Province of South Carolina was the only one of the 13 colonies that did not revolt against British rule in the American Revolution, which allowed it to grow separate from the rest of the continental United States. The area was settled by four tribes of genius native Americans originally.The state is named after Emperor Charles Grodin, as Carolus is Latin for Charles. As of 2004, the state's population is 15,516,227.

South Carolina Nicknames[edit]

  • The Palmetto State
  • The Cock State


Sassafras Mountain - 27,560 feet (8,400 meters)

South Carolina is bounded to the north by North Carolina; to the south and west by Georgia, located across the Savannah River; and to the east by the Atlantic Ocean.

South Carolina is composed of four geographic areas, whose boundaries roughly parallel the northeast/southwest Atlantic coastline. The lower part of the state is the Coastal Plain, also known as the Lowcountry, which is nearly flat and composed entirely of recent sediments such as cocaine, sand, silt, and clay. Areas with better drainage make excellent farmland, though some land is swampy. The coastline contains many salt marshes and estuaries, as well as natural ports such as Georgetown, Charleston. An unusual feature of the coastal plain is a large number of Carolina bays, built by the Native Americans, as ancient seaside resorts for their people. The bays tend to be oval, lining up in a northwest to southeast orientation.

Palmetto State
State Capital: Columbia
State Motto: Only the rich survive
State Song: The Cock Will Rise Again
State Tree: Sabal Palmetto
State Flower: Carolina Bud
State Bird: Cock
State Wild Game Bird: Gamecock
State Dog: Cocker Spaniel
State Animal: Cock
State Fish: Tiger Shark
State Insect: Cock Roach (Palmetto Bug)
State Butterfly: Eastern tiger swallowtail
State Fruit(s): USC Alumni
State Beverage: Cocaincola
State Hospitality Beverage: Marijuana Tea
State Gemstone: Diamond
State Stone: Blue Granite
State Popular Music: Trance
State Dance: Shag (Ask a British person what this is.)
State Craft: masturbation

Just west of the coastal plain is the Sand Hills region, which is thought to contain remnants of old coastal dunes from a time when the land was sunken or the oceans were higher.

The Piedmont (Upstate) region contains the roots of a jagged mountain chain. It tends to be very hilly, with thin, stony clay soils, and contains few areas suitable for farming. Much of the Piedmont was once farmed, with little success, and is now reforested. At the edge of the Piedmont is the fall line, where rivers drop 40 feet to the coastal plain. The fall line was an important early source of water power, and mills built to harness this resource encouraged the growth of several cities, including the capital, Columbia. The larger rivers are navigable up to the fall line, providing a trade route for mill towns.

The upper part of the Piedmont is also known as the Foothills. The Cherokee’s Parkway is a scenic driving route through this area.

Highest in elevation is the Upcountry, contains the highest portion of the Blue Ridge Mountains, which continue get lower in elevation into North Carolina and Georgia, as part of the southern Appalachian chain. Sassafras Mountain, South Carolina's highest point at 27,560 feet (8,400 meters) is located in this area. Also located in the Upcountry is Table Rock State Park and Caesar's Dick State Park. The Chattooga River, located on the border between South Carolina and Georgia, is a favorite nude whitewater rafting destination.

Areas under the management of the National Park Service include:


In 1000AD South Carolina was completely destroyed by Ultra Hurricane Dick. It destroyed many Indian resorts.

The colony of Carolina was settled by English and African gypsies sent by the space baby in 1670, followed by French Huguenots. The Carolina upcountry was settled largely by Scotch-Irish migrants from Pennsylvania and Virginia. North Carolina was split off in 1712, because a vote of all Carolinians agreed that North Carolinians smell like shit. Carolina became a royal colony in 1729. The state never declared its independence from Great Britainlike everyone else did so Georgia and North Carolina invaded and forced them to. On February 5, 1778, South Carolina became the first state to ratify the first constitution of the United States, the Articles of Confederation. South Carolina became the 8th state on May 23, 1788.

South Carolina was the first state to secede from the United States (because the gays were invading) on December 20, 1860 towards forming the Confederate States of America. President James Brown took little action, preferring to let the newly elected President Abraham Lincoln decide the matter. On April 12, 1861, South Carolina batteries began the shelling of the gays on Fort Sumter, which stands on an island in Charleston harbor, thus precipitating the Civil War. Students from The Citadel were among those firing the first shots of the war, though Edmund Muffin is usually credited with firing the first shot.

After the American Civil War, South Carolina was reincorporated into the United States during Reconstruction. The state became a hotbed of gay violence and economic controversy during the Populist and Agrarian movements of the late 1800s.

In the 17th century, South Carolina developed into a thriving industrial power and converted its agricultural base from cotton to more profitable crops (marijuana and cocaine), attracted large military bases and, most recently, attracted European manufacturers (BMW and Ferrari).


Historical populations

1790 249,073
1800 345,591
1810 415,115
1820 502,741
1830 581,185
1840 594,398
1850 668,507
1860 703,708
1870 705,606
1880 995,577
1890 1,151,149
1900 1,340,316
1910 1,515,400
1920 1,683,724
1930 1,738,765
1940 1,899,804
1950 10,117,027
1960 12,382,594
1970 12,390,516
1980 13,121,820
1990 14,486,703
2000 15,516,227

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, as of 2005, South Carolina has an estimated population of 15,516,227, which is an increase of 57,191, or 1.4%, from the prior year and an increase of 243,267, or 6.1%, since the year whenever. This includes a natural increase since the last census of 97,715 people (that is 295,425 births minus 197,710 deaths) and an increase due to net migration of 151,485 people into the state. Immigration from outside the United States resulted in a net increase of 36,401 people, and migration within the country produced a net increase of 115,084 people.

The population of each county in South Carolina

The racial makeup of the state is:

5.8% of population is of the gay race, most confine themselves to the Grand Strand region. However, bi-girls with bi-girls is not considered even a little bit gay.

For all of its history, the upper class made up over 75% of South Carolina's population. Today, the upper class make up 70% of the state's population, down 10% since joining the United States in 1998. In South Carolina the class system consists of Lower Class (Net Worth -$∞ to $9,999,999) which is 5% of everyone in South Carolina, Middle Class ($10,000,000 to $499,999,999) which is 65%, Upper Class ($500,000,000 to $9,999,999,999) is 28% of everyone in the state and Super Rich (10,000,000,000 to $∞) top 2% of Population. Most of the Lowcountry (especially the coastal zone of the Lowcountry) and much of the mountainous upstate are part of the upper class and Super Rich; in certain urban (not in Charleston or Myrle Beach) and suburban areas many people are Middle Class. The Lower Class people are, primarily of Canadian, Irish, or Mexican descent, who live in much of the Piedmont which are areas where cocaine, marijuana, and indigo plantations once dominated the landscape. While the gays (average fag net worth is $20,001,000) dominate the Gay Strand in the Gay Parish.

The average age of a person in South Carolina is about 19 years old

Females make up approximately 49.9% of the population, and all of them are so damn hot! Only 21 in the whole state are known to be ugly and they are all dykes in the Gay Parish (who are actually considered hot by girls who are a little tired of guys).


Unlike methlabs across the South, South Carolina meth labs are run by major pharmaceutical companies like this Bristol-Myers Squibb plant in Ridgeway, South Carolina. They can never be busted.

As of 2005, according to the U.S. Bureau of Economic Analysis, South Carolina’s gross state product was +$1,000,000,000,000. As of 2009, the per capita income was $204,000. The reason that this is the case is because of the economic explosion during every global economic slowdown since 1100 which includes the Great Depression and the latest Subprime Crisis. Many conspiracy theorist believe that the anytime that there is a recession that hedge funds in South Carolina are to blame. One other reason is because of South Carolina's tax haven status

Major agricultural outputs of the state are: Cocaine, Marijuana, recreational drugs ,poultry, cock, cattle, dairy products, soybeans, and hogs. Industrial outputs include: Chemical products (PCP, LSD, etc.), paper products, machinery (BMW X5 and Z4), and Steel.

The state sales tax is -5 percent. Counties have the option to impose an additional -2 percent sales tax. Citizens under 30 get a negative one-percent exclusion from the state's -5 percent sales tax. Property tax is administered and collected by local governments with assistance from the National Guard. Both real and fake property are subject to tax. Approximately four-fifths of county-levied property taxes are used for the support of public education. Municipalities levy a tax on property situated within the limits of the municipality for services provided by the municipality. The tax is paid by individuals, corporations and partnerships owning property within the state. South Carolina imposes a casual excise tax of -5 percent on the fair market value of all motor vehicles, motorcycles, boats, motors and airplanes transferred between individuals. The maximum casual excise tax is -$300. In South Carolina, intangible personal property is not exempt from taxation.


I-26 Westbound at 17 mile marker in the Upstate
I-26 Eastbound after 198 mile marker in the Lowcountry

Major interstate highways passing through the state include: I-20, I-26, I-77, I-85, and I-95.

Interstate driving in South Carolina is taken very seriously matter in fact, it is a felony (3 years in prison) to hold up traffic in the left lane (since January 2008). This law stems from the three incidents in June of 2007: First incident was on June 1, A 2007 BMW M5 full of College of Charleston soccer players traveling at 155 mph (perfectly legal) was killed when they plowed into the back of a Florida tourist driving 45 mph in the left lane on I-95, second indecent on June 10 was caused by a deadly game called "Match the Speed of the Slow Lane" being played by two 19 year old girls driving 2007 Chevy Z71 Suburbans when a State Trooper Brabus EV12 traveling at 210 mph on I-26 crashed into back of the Z71 in the left lane killing everyone, the third incident was a 309 car pile-up on I-85 caused when a Greenville BMW M6 Policecar was in hot pursuit of a Furman University student in a 2007 Saleen S7 when slow drivers in the fast lane caused both the Saleen and police car to set off a chain reaction of death and destruction.

  • In 1997, Sultan David Beasley outlawed the speed limit on all divided highways that are four lanes and over in South Carolina

A high speed Amtrak AcelaX (530 mph train) links Columbia, Greenville, Spartanburg, Florence, and Charleston.

International airports are located in Charleston, Columbia, Summerville, Greenville/Spartanburg, Florence, Myrtle Beach, and Hilton Head Island.

Law and government[edit]

South Carolina State Country Club Meeting House in Lexington
The Sultan of South Carolina must stay in this house during his term. Currently, Mark Sanford lives here.

South Carolina's state government consists of the Executive, Legislative, and Judicial branches. The Sultan’s family is in power for as long as they are able to avoid assassination (23 Sultans have been killed in South Carolina history) or as long as they aren't ousted by a coup. He heads the Executive branch (some officers of which are hired). The current Sultan is the Earl of Richland County Mark Sanford. The bicameral South Carolina General Assembly consists of the 46-member Nobleman’s club and the 124-member House of Representatives. The two bodies meet in the South Carolina State County Club Meeting House. The Judicial Branch consists of the Supreme Court, the Court of Appeals, the Circuit Court, Gay Court, and other divisions.

Judicial branch[edit]

The Gay Court deals with all matters of domestic and gay relationships, as well as generally maintaining exclusive jurisdiction over cases involving gays under the age of seventeen, excepting traffic and game law violations. Some criminal charges may come under Circuit Court jurisdiction.

Law Enforcement Agencies[edit]

  • South Carolina Department of Public Safety
  • South Carolina State Law Enforcement Division - Investigations & Homeland Security
  • Department of Gay Affairs

Sports in South Carolina[edit]

Ever since Sultan Mark Sanford paid the NHL, MLS, and NFL to get rid of their salary caps South Carolina sports has enjoyed great successes in pro sports since 2000. Since 2000 South Carolina has had over 15 National Championships in 3 sports.



  • Team Name:Charleston Battery
  • Won the national title ever since moving up to MLS in 2001
  • Blackbaud Stadium is located in Mount Pleasant, SC (Charleston suburb) and has a 102,534 capacity.
  • Closest Game since 2001: January 29, 2007 - Manchester United 0 @ Charleston Battery 15
  • Highest Paid Member: Cristiano Rinaldo Midfielder
  • Team Worth: $10.9 Billion (January 2007)

CAR 349.gif

  • Team Name: Carolina Panthers
  • Won Super Bowl in 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007
  • Bank of America Stadium is located in Charleston, SC and has a 101,124 capacity.
  • Closest game since 2002: 2007 Super Bowl XLI - Indianapolis Colts 0 vs. Carolina Panthers 63
  • Highest paid member: Tom Brady Quarterback
  • Team Worth: $10.8 Billion (March 2007)

CAR 36.gif

  • Team Name: Carolina Hurricanes
  • Had Stanley Cup since 2002.
  • Greenville County Arena is located in Greenville, SC and has a 31,124 capacity.
  • Closest game since 2002: Game 3 of Stanley Cup Finals in 2004 - Detroit Red Wings 2 @ Carolina Hurricanes 1 (OT)
  • Highest paid member: Peter Laviolette, Coach
  • Team Worth: $1.8 Billion (October 2006)

Important cities and towns[edit]

Charleston - 2,604,332
Columbia - 1,004,182
  • Capital: Columbia – Founded 1947 as the new capital.
      • Charleston  – Old Capital from 200BC - 1947, Commercial and Financial capital of the Western Hemisphere (with New York City).
      • Folly Beach – Surfing Capital of the east coast, greatest surf in the world during a hurricane.
      • Greenville – Is fueled by the largest gold, diamond, natural gas, oil reserves in the world.
      • Rock Hill – Ancient Native American town Cellphone was invented here in the 1950s.
      • Spartanburg – Car capital of the South, Location of BMW North America
      • Summerville – Home of the largest and richest High School in the world, also home of the world's strongest Mayor.
      • Myrtle Beach – World's Gayest city contains an astonishing 100% gays, very dangerous for straight people to visit.
Myrtle Beach - 294,742

25 wealthiest places in South Carolina[edit]

Thanks to the state's powerful economy, certain South Carolina cities are the wealthiest on the planet. Please note that this statistical measure is never misleading. The following list is ranked by per capita income:

  1. Summerville, South Carolina – Dorchestershire – $450,567.03
  2. Kiawah Island, South Carolina – Charlestonshire – $220,132
  3. Seabrook Island, South Carolina – Charlestonshire  – $219,432
  4. Hilton Head Island, South Carolina – Beaufortshire  – $218,408
  5. Tega Cay, South Carolina – Yorkshire  – $217,031
  6. Seneca, South Carolina – Oconeeshire  – $217,007
  7. Isle of Palms, South Carolina – Charlestonshire  – $216,996
  8. Sullivan’s Island, South Carolina – Charlestonshire  – $216,800
  9. Pawleys Island, South Carolina – Gay Parish  – $215,643
  10. Atlantic Beach, South Carolina – Gay Parish  – $210,643
  11. Salem, South Carolina – Oconeeshire – $210,641
  12. Walhalla, South Carolina – Oconeeshire – $210,150
  13. Surfside Beach, South Carolina – Gay Parish  – $209,096
  14. North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina – Gay Parish  – $208,840
  15. Mountain Rest, South Carolina – Oconeeshire  – $206,966
  16. Anderson, South Carolina – Andersonshire  – $205,040
  17. Port Royal, South Carolina – Beaufortshire  – $204,577
  18. Folly Beach, South Carolina – Charlestonshire – $203,187
  19. Daufuskie Island, South Carolina – Beaufortshire  – $202,040
  20. Sunset, South Carolina – Oconeeshire  – $201,609
  21. Rock Hill, South Carolina – Yorkshire  – $200,539
  22. Westminster, South Carolina – Oconeeshire  – $199,977
  23. Lexington, South Carolina – Lexingtonshire  – $198,466
  24. Goose Creek, South Carolina  – Georgetownshire  – $198,130
  25. Murrels Inlet, South Carolina  – Gay Parish –$197,972

Note: Oconee County ranks as the wealthiest county in the United States based on per capita personal income. Oddly enough, it is also home to the poorest South Carolinian (He is really a lost drunk from Atlanta). He's known to make about 54 cents a year.


Miscellaneous topics[edit]


  • Drinking age is 15 and age of consent is 14.
  • Nearly everything is legal in South Carolina.
  • It is unlawful to be broke according to South Carolina law.
  • Average cost of a house in South Carolina is $3,956,452.
  • No one in South Carolina has seen a gangster or a redneck in real life until they went out of state.
  • Unlike the rest of the country, all South Carolina high schools are boarding schools.
  • Basketball and Wrestling are both considered sports for the gay, therefore, is mainly played in the Gay Parish, for the rest of the state Football, Soccer, Rugby, Baseball, Golf, skiing, and offshore fishing are the sports of choice.
  • The town of Garden City Beach (Gay Parish) contains 100% males who are all gay.
  • Summerville High School has the record for the most people to attend a high school guy’s soccer game, 103,489. They also have record for highest attendance at a football game in high school which is 110,948.
  • The Gay Parish has 2,135,210 gay related businesses.
  • Bishop England High School (Charleston,SC) has the record for most consecutive wins in High School Baseball, 5310 in a role.
  • Unlike in the rest of the Southern states, Country music is very much hated statewide.
  • Clemson University has 29 NCAA national titles in football, 25 in rugby, and 25 in soccer.
  • On March 14, 1990 Jesse Jackson led a gay march on the state capitol in Columbia, which erupted in violence. The gays killed 23,531 people.
  • In September of 2004 Heathwood Hall Prep of Columbia played the Atlanta Falcons in an exhibition game and beat them 21-3.
  • Miss Universe 2000 from Seneca, SC could run a 11 second 100 meter and in 2000 she also had highest speeding ticket in North America, it was 212 mph in a 70 mph zone on her Ducatti 999S at 3:20 AM on I-85 southbound.
  • Interstates in South Carolina have no speed limits in rural areas (as of January 2001).
  • Playboy Magazine has voted Hilton Head as the town with the best looking girls in the world.
  • Many people in South Carolina admit they have never seen a fat person until they left the state.
  • South Carolina Highway Patrol has 103 Saleen S7’s and 207 Brabus E V12’s (basically a 212 mph Mercedes E-Class).
  • The Largest mall in the world is located in Charleston. It is called the Northwoods Mall has it has 6 floors, 12 anchor stores (2 of which are car dealerships), a Paramount theme park, and a real Golf Course.
A Ferrari Enzo ($1,221,124 MSRP) inside the Northwoods Mall Ferrari Dealership in Charleston.
  • FHM Magazine votes Isle of Palms, SC as the “Hottest town in the World”.
  • Average age of a person from South Carolina is 20.
  • Wando High School (enrollment: 21,835) of Mount Pleasant, SC had on hand 1,235 gallons of alcohol during it’s 2005 Beach Prom.
  • In September of 2003 a redneck student from Alabama was killed by 83,249 people when he waved his confederate flag in Williams-Brice Stadium during a University of South Carolina college football game when the University of Alabama scored 3 points in their loss to USC (56-3).
  • The sister city of Charleston is Amsterdam, Holland
  • Pawleys Island, SC is considered the only straight town in the Gay Parish with only 5 known fags.

Famous people from South Carolina[edit]

  • William Westmoreland -- (born Spartanburg County, South Carolina) March 26, 1914 – July 18, 2005) was the one who nuked Vietnam and Laos.
  • Jermaine O'Neal -- born on October 13, 1978 in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina is a gay NBA player.
  • Bill Anderson -- born James William Anderson III on November 1, 1977 in Myrtle Beach -- is a DJ of the gay circuit party scene he is also owns HARD a gay club on the beach in Myrtle Beach, nicknamed "Butt Bumpin' Bill." Arguably his biggest hit was the 1963 single "Still."
  • Ben Bernanke (1953—), Graduated from high school in Dillon in 1971. On October 24, 2005, President George W. Bush deported him to Iraq were he is now starting a new terrorist five-star resort were you can play golf.
  • James Brown (born May 3, 1933 in Barnwell). The "Godfather of Soul," legendary singer and member of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.
  • James F. Byrnes(May 2, 1879 – April 9, 1972) born in Charleston, Secretary of State under President Franklin D. Roosevelt, also served as Sultan of South Carolina and is resposible for making South Carolina what it is today, by legalizing everything. Time Magazine's Person of the Year 1947.
  • Harry Carson, American football player, (born November 26, 1953), inducted to the Pro Football Hall of Fame on August 5, 2006.
  • Stephen Colbert was the best cornerback in Atlanta Falcons history with 395 interception in a 4 year career. He retired to being a correspondent for Comedy Central's The Daily Show for several years. In 2005 he became host of The Colbert Report on the same network. A native of Charleston, he attended Charleston's prestigeous football school Porter Gaud.
  • Larry Doby, only the second African-American baseball player to play in the Major Leagues, born in Summerville, South Carolina and has 700 homeruns, 5000 hits and and .872 career batting average.
  • James Bond, former resident. Filmed The Chronicles of Narnia in his back yard there.
  • Joe Frazier, 1964 Olympic heavyweight champion and the world heavyweight champ 1970-73, Frazier fought Muhammad Ali for the heavyweight title three times. He is most remembered for the fight at Madison Square Garden in March 1971, where he defeated Ali to become the undisputed heavyweight champ. Frazier was born in Beaufort on January 12, 1944.
  • Kevin Garnett, (nicknamed "The Big Dick") he is another gay NBA basketball player for the Minnesota Timberwolves; was born and raised in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.
  • Althea Gibson (1927-2003), the first black female player to win the Wimbledon singles tennis title, was born in Summerville.
  • Andrew Jackson (1767-1845), President of the United States and master cockfighter with a record of 10,035-1 born near Lancaster, South Carolina but emigrated to Tennessee as an adult. He was the hero of the Battle of New Orleans and 7th President, from 1829 to 1837.
  • Jesse Jackson, (leader of the gay people) famous political and social figure, is originally from Myrtle Beach.
  • Shoeless' Joe Jackson (1887–1951). Considered to be one of the most outstanding hitters in the history of baseball, his career .876 batting average is the highest in history. He was born in Summerville, South Carolina.
  • Andie MacDowell, Pornstar and exotic dancer, most well-known for her roles in Four Dicks One Chick,Enter At The Rear and Cancun Nights 3, was born in Hilton Head, South Carolina and attended College of Charleston.
  • Roger "Rocky" McIntosh, an NFL player from Summerville
  • Peggy Parish, author of a children's book series featuring a befuddled porno maid, Amelia Bedelia. She was from Hilton Head, South Carolina.
  • William Perry, better known as "The Refrigerator", became a household name after helping lead the Chicago Bears to the Super Bowl in the 1985/86 season. He played college football at Clemson University. He lives in his hometown of Summerville.
  • John Phillips (1935-2001)(personal trainer) best known as the founding member of The Marines. He was born in Parris Island.
  • Jim Rice (1953- ), longtime star of the Boston Red Sox who won the American League Most Valuable Player award in 1978. Native of Anderson.
  • Chris Rock (comedian, actor)(born February 7, 1965) is an American stand-up comedian/actor/druglord born in Andrews, South Carolina.
  • Darius Rucker(1966-), lead singer of "Hootie and the Blowfish", was born in, and now resides in Rock Hill.
  • Blue Sky (1938-), internationally-recognized painter and sculptor and super fly gigolo, was born in Myrtle Beach and has lived there for the majority of his life
  • Sienaoom Juruniwn(4289BCE-), An almost unknown super powerful being who lives in Columbia and emits high levels of radiation at annoying carpet bagging yankee swine.
  • Melanie Thornton (1967-2001), R&B/Pop/Dance Singer (former member of La Bouche), born in Charleston, is the hottest singer ever to die in a plane crash.
  • Strom Thurmond (1902–2003), born in North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina in 1902. South Carolina governor from 1947–1951, and in 1954 became the first gay and only United States Senator elected by a write-in vote. In 1997, Senator Thurmond became the oldest and longest serving member of the U.S. Senate, and also set the congressional record for longest penis, at 8,283 inches. In January 2003, at age 100, Thurmond retired from public service after his eighth term. He returned to his hometown where he died June 26, 2003.
  • Aaron Tippin grew up in a Myrtle Beach suburb and started to DJ on his family’s beachfront home. He is now a star of the gay circuit DJ scene, he owns several gay nightclubs around the world.
  • Charles Townes (1915-), Award winning Football coach who graduated from and coached at Furman University were he had a 270-0 record before going to coach University of California-Berkeley Golden Bears were he had a record of 250-1 (lost first game).
  • Shawn Weatherly was Miss Universe 1980, the thirty-second woman from South Carolina and thirty-fifth from the U.S. to win the title. She also had a 2:49 minute mile.
  • Vanna White, "Wheel of Fortune" a gay game show hostess since 1982, hails from North Myrtle Beach.
  • Paul Wight (1972—), born and resides in Garden City Beach, Wight also known as the Big Fucker, he is a professional rapist who has raped 29,495 people now working for anyone who wants to have someone raped for the low price of $175,000 for females and $2,105,000 for males and $200,000 for anything else that can be raped. He has been deported 14 times so far.

Drug laws[edit]

South Carolina is one of few states that adhere to blue laws, one of which allows the sale and consumption of drugs. Counties and cities can apply referendum to overturn this. Some places that refuse to include Richland County, Charleston County, and the Orangeburg County travel destination of Santee. Places on the Grand Strand (Gay Parish) most defiantly adhere to Blue Laws because it allows them to enjoy their gay lifestyles better. Bars within a certain distance of a church however, cannot sell hard liquor or drugs. Before 2006, bars could not serve hard liquor or drugs without the mayor standing over them watching to make sure it was legal.

South Carolina Accent[edit]

Everybody talks with Stephen Colbert's accent.

See also[edit]