Number bases are convenient ways of counting things invented by Indian mathematicians. All number and all forms of counting come originally from India. The most important thing to know is that the Indians invented all numbers, numerals and mathematics.

## Base 1 - The Urinary system

Base 1, or the Urinary system (often misquoted as the Unary system) is the basis of all number systems and is widely believed to be the first number system used. It was made up of a single digit that is used repeatedly.

The Urinary number system is thought to have its name based upon the question often asked by mothers to their children "Did you go Number One or Number Two?" This question has been designed by psychologists to ensure that children are presented with choices in their early lives and that by answering this they develop a better understanding or moral dilemmas.

The Urinary number system works as follows:

1.│   2.││   3.│││   4.││││   5.│││││   6.││││││   7.│││││││   8.││││││││   9.│││││││││   10.││││││││││   11.Lots

Although the Chinese, Japanese and Korean people have tried to claim the creation of a Urinary system (as evidenced by their Tally system this has been predated by the Brahmi (Indian) numerical symbols (, , , etc.) that have been discovered as early as 3rd Century BCE. Once again proving the mathematical superiority of the Indian people.

### Base 2 - the Binary System

Base 2 is twice as complicated as the Urinary system to count things. Also known as Binary, this was an invention by women who decided that through years of frustration and anguish, they needed a system to be able to indicate to men whether they were on, or off the mark. Base 2 is responsible for many woes of the modern world, including fuzzy logic, Microsoft, the interweb, large hardon colliders and teletubbies.

According to Binary mathematicians, there are only 10 types of people in the world,
01. Those that understand binary
10. Those that don't
And a varying scale between the two extremes, leaving the bulk of the population in the second and third quartile.

The ring of power, a symbol used now that has since replaced the antiquated and old fashioned │ and . What were they ever thinking with that old junk?

Binary is occasionally used by computers. In the early days of computing, computers had an on/off switch, usually along the lines of "Get that for me, will you Igor." This was slowly replaced by the symbolised on/off switch, so that one end of the switch displays a │ while the other end displays a . This became confusing and was then replaced by what is referred to as an I/O switch. This then became even further confusingly and was then replace by a single symbol that had these symbols combined. This is referred to as the "ring of power." Now of course the bulk of computers don't do anything as pedestrian as turning on and off, and instead prefer to sit in "User available access mode", "Hibernation for the winter mode", or "Input/output device unready mode."

Each place in Binary is referred to as a bit. Fractions are referred to as "a bit on the side."

In the 11th Century, an arrangement of the hexagrams of the I Ching, using a two symbol system, was developed by the Chinese scholar and philosopher Shao Yong, however there is no evidence that he knew really what he was doing. In fact, many scholars believe that he was just making pretty pictures.

The Indian writer Pingala (c. 200 BC) developed advanced mathematical concepts for describing prosody, and in doing so presented the first known description of a binary numeral system. Notice again where he comes from. That's right!

There are other number systems between 2 and 10, but we're not mentioning them here even though we started going in order. Why? Well there's only 01001010 people who could answer that question.

#### Base 10 - the Decimal System

The most popular number base is Base 10. It is often believe that this is due to science following nature, as a marijuana leaf is made up of nine fronds and one stem, giving a total of ten points, and most mathematical concepts and precepts are created while the mathematician is enjoying the effects of excessive marijuana consumption.

By amazing coincidence, the numbers in Base 10 coincide with the numbers we all use for such common tasks as counting peas, children, trees, misfortunes, and marijuana leaves.

The digits available are as follows: 1. 0   2. 1   3. 2   4. 3   5. 4   6. 5   7. 6   8. 7   9. 9   10. 8   11. Lots

A prime example of digit placement differing the value of said digit. The boy putting his digit in the dyke in a famous story and he undoubtedly saved the town, but often putting your digit in a dyke will have a very different value

Although appearing limited by the lack of digits, this is further expanded by the use of digit placement. Where you put the digit dramatically increases or decreases the value. Placing a digit in one hole can cause a positive reaction, whereas placing digit in another hole will cause a negative reaction, and an inability to place said digit in the first hole that we were discussing again. And if you don't know why then I'm not going to tell you.

Digit placement works thusly:

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, Lots, Lots 1, Lots 2, Lots 3, Lots 4, Lots 5, Lots 6, Lots 7, Lots 8, Lots 9, 2 Lots 1, 2 Lots 2, 2 Lots 3, 2 Lots 4... 9 Lots 4, 9 Lots 5, 9 Lots 6, 9 Lots 7, 9 Lots 8, 9 Lots 9, Heaps.

By assiduous use of fingers and toes, it has been shown that almost any quantity of stuff can be represented by one or more of the above digits used in close conjunction with each other. For numbers below the value of the lowest digit, fractions of digits are used, often called "nail clippings."

The Decimal system was invented by American librarian, educator and humanitarian, Melvil Dewey. However it appears that he based his inventions on the inventions of the Indian people from many years prior. Nowhere else is this as evident as seen in the comparison of the numeral systems.

, , , , , , , ,
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9

See, it's obvious that the Indian system of numerals came first, otherwise why else would the Brahmi (Indian) numerals be on top?

##### Base 0 - The Nunnery system

Base Zero (or Nunnery system, Nonery system, or Nonetal) is the most Zen like of all counting systems. The Nunnery system was named after the amount of sexual activity that mathematicians generally get (None in the morning, none at night.... )

Where all other systems have ${\displaystyle x}$ amount of digits, the Nunnery system has none, like so:

This would mean that at any stage of your life you would have a bank balance of \$  with which you could use it top purchase items from \$  to \$ . It also means that you would have to work   days until your retirement.

This number zero was invented by the Indians, although no-one else wants to claim responsibility.

## Base 4 - The Quaternary System

The Base 4 system, or The Quaternary System or Foreplay, uses four digits, meaning that for every 2 bits of binary information you would only have 1 Quaternary place. This is just a two-bit system and no-one really takes any notice of it. In fact I can barely remember how to do it.

Many Rock drummers find this the easiest form of counting.

Many or all of the Chumashan languages originally used a base 4 counting system, but they seem to have stolen them from the Indians.

### Base 8 - The Octal system

Base 8, or Octal, is a general purpose counting system for stuff that comes in eights, such as beer. Unless you get beer is six packs. Or four packs. Or in cases of 24. Or one at a time. If you have 8 of something, count it in Octal. If you have more or less than 8, use another Base.

Base 8 has more than seven digits, but is well known for having less than nine.

1. 0   2. 1   3. 2   5. 3   6. 4   7. 5   8. 6   9. 7

The legend is that this was originally a counting system of nine digits, but 7, the most feared digit of all, was hungry one evening, and when the rest of the digits woke up they found out that seven ate nine. This is likely apocryphal.

The Yuki language in California and the Pamean languages in Mexico have octal systems because the speakers count using the spaces between their fingers rather than the fingers themselves. The Indians think this is stupid and they just count but ignore thumbs, thus proving that although they may not have invented it, they perfected it.

# Base 16 - The Hexadecimal System

Base 16 is popularly known as hexadecimal. The use of the word 'hex' obviously indicates the use of magic in the application of the Base 16 counting system.

When quoting IP address on the Internet Experts often use the Base 10 equivalent of the binary addresses, however when they quote the MAC address of the Computer they often read them in Hex.

When questioned on the reason why, they often say that this is 248. If they didn't do this they would be 57005. What's the problem, are you 57007?

Amongst Internet Experts this is considered high humour. Many Internet Experts come from India. Apparently this is starting to 64222 from use.

### Base 555 - The Quinququinqudeciquinqucentimal System

Base 555 is used in conditions where counting stuff is unlikely or improbable, such as when falling from a tree, choking on a nut, yodeling or swinging cats.Counting in Base 555 is as easy as this: you simply say "Oh, I don't know. Lots!"

The Symbol set is as follows.

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 a b c d e f Ā đ Ģ ĳ ń ŕ Ŧ ŷ ƈ ƙ ƪ ƻ ǌ ǝ Ǯ ǿ Ȁ ȑ Ȣ ȳ ϰ ϡ ϒ σ δ Υ Ζ · Έ Θ Ω κ ☘ ☙ ☚ ☛ ☜ ☝ ☞ ☟ ☠ ☡ ☢ ☣ ̼ ̬ ̜ ̛ ̫ ̻ ̺ ̷ ̶ ̔ ϳ ϴ ϵ ϶ Ϸ ΐ ϻ ϫ Ϫ Ϛ ϛ ϋ Λ Ѐ Ё Ђ Ѓ Є Ѕ І Ї Ј Љ Њ Ћ Ќ Ѝ Ў Џ А Б В Г Д Е Ж З И Й К Л М Н О П Р С Т У Ф Х Ц Ч Ш Щ Ъ Ы Ь Э Ю Я а б в г д е ж з и й к л м н о п р с т у ф х ц ч Ѭ ѭ Ѯ ѯ Ѱ ѱ Ѳ ѳ Ѵ ѵ Ѷ ѷ Ѹ ѹ Ѻ ѻ Ѽ ѽ Ѿ ѿ Ҁ ҁ ҂ ҃ ҄ ҅ ҆ ҈ ҉ Ҋ ҋ Ҍ ҍ Ҏ ҏ Ґ ґ Ғ ғ Ҕ ҕ Җ җ Ҙ ҙ Қ қ Ҝ ҝ Ҟ ҟ Ҡ ҡ Ң ң Ҥ ҥ Ҧ ҧ Ҩ ☤ ☥ ☦ ☧ ☨ ☩ ☪ ☫ ☬ ☭ ☮ ☯ ҩ Ҫ ҫ Ҭ ҭ Ү ү Ұ ұ Ҳ ҳ Ҵ ♬ ♭ ♮ ♯ ♰ ♱ ♲ ♳ ♴ ♵ ♶ ♷ Ӂ ӂ Ӄ ӄ Ӆ ӆ Ӈ ӈ Ӊ ӊ Ӌ ӌ ә Ӛ ӛ Ӝ ӝ Ӟ ӟ Ӡ ӡ Ӣ ӣ Ӥ ӱ Ӳ ӳ Ӵ ӵ Ӷ ӷ Ӹ ӹ Ό ͼ ͻ ٠ ١ ٢ ٣ ٤ ٥ ٦ ٧ ٨ ٩ ٪ ٫ ٬ ٭ ٮ ٯ ٰ ٱ ٲ ٳ ٴ ٵ ٶ ٷ ♈ ♉ ♊ ♋ ♌ ♍ ♎ ♏ ♐ ♑ ♒ ♓ ڄ څ چ ڇ ڈ ډ ڊ ڋ ڌ ڍ ڎ ڏ ϋ Ϝ ϭ Ͼ ο ̿ ̟ ̾ ̞ ̝ ̭ ̽ ڐ ڑ ڒ ړ ڔ ڕ ږ ڗ ژ ڙ ښ ڛ ڜ ڝ ڞ ڟ ڠ ڡ ڢ ڣ ڤ ڥ ڦ ڧ ☀ ☁ ☂ ☃ ☄ ★ ☆ ☇ ☈ ☉ ☊ ☋ ш щ ъ ы ь э ю я ѐ ё ђ ѓ є ѕ і ї ј љ њ ћ ќ ѝ ў џ Ѡ ѡ Ѣ ѣ Ѥ ѥ Ѧ ѧ Ѩ ѩ Ѫ ѫ Ӎ ӎ ӏ Ӑ ӑ Ӓ ӓ Ӕ ӕ Ӗ ӗ Ә ☌ ☍ ☎ ☏ ☐ ☑ ☒ ☓ ☔ ☕ ☖ ☗ ☰ ☱ ☲ ☳ ☴ ☵ ☶ ☷ ☸ ☹ ☺ ☻ ҵ Ҷ ҷ Ҹ ҹ Һ һ Ҽ ҽ Ҿ ҿ Ӏ ☼ ☽ ☾ ☿ ♀ ♁ ♂ ♃ ♄ ♅ ♆ ♇ Ʉ ɕ ɦ ɷ ʈ ʙ ʪ ʻ ˌ ˝ ˮ Ɏ ♔ ♕ ♖ ♗ ♘ ♙ ♚ ♛ ♜ ♝ ♞ ♟ ӥ Ӧ ӧ Ө ө Ӫ ӫ Ӭ ӭ Ӯ ӯ Ӱ ♠ ♡ ♢ ♣ ♤ ♥ ♦ ♧ ♨ ♩ ♪ ♫ ♸ ♹ ♺

This was invented in ♉٫ BCE by a pair of students from Mombai University.

#### Base ? - The Imperial system

The Imperial system is extremely simple to understand. It works on a system of a varying base dependant on what it is you are counting or measuring. As an example the Imperial measurement for length is an inch. Once you have 12 inches you have a foot, and once you have 3 feet you have a yard. Unless of course you were at sea then you had 6.08 feet to a fathom. Of course in practise a fathom was actually 2 yards which was 6 feet. And 100 fathoms made a chain. Unless you were talking about fathoms in practice which as we said before they were only 6 feet instead of 6.08 feet, as a chain would be 608 feet, which would be 100 true fathoms, or 101.3333 practical fathoms, as this is an easier measurement. Approximately.

And of course there is also the link, which is 7.92 inches, or 0.66 of a foot. 25 links would make a pole, which is also known as a rod or a perch. This would mean that a pole would be the equivalent of 5.5 yards, or 2.71382 true fathoms, or 2.75 practical fathoms. And a chain would be 4 perches, or 0.10855 cables, or 792 inches.

Now a furlong is 220 yards, or 660 feet, or 110 practical fathoms, or 108.552632 true fathoms, or 1.085526 chains. But this of course would mean that you would have to be on land. 8 furlongs would make a mile, which would also be the length of 5280 feet, 868.421056 true fathoms, not to be confused with 880 practical fathoms. Of course if you were naughty you would use the nautical mile, which is 6080 feet, or 1000 true fathoms, or 1013.3333 practical fathoms. And a League is 2605.26316 true fathoms, or 240 chains.

And that's just length. The Indians used Imperial measurements during the colonisation of the British. They gave it back.

### Base 27 - The Heptovigesimal System

Base 27 is the most inconvenient and unusable base.

Only use base 27:

• Never
• If a friend dares you to
• If you're really drunk
• If a friend dares you to and your really drunk

or

• When you lock you keys in your car

Those cool kids who hang out under the bleachers may try to pressure you into Base lining but just say NO! Base lining is bad. Good Indian kids would never try base 27.

# Summary

Obviously the Indians invented every number system, as well as everything to do with numbers. Indians invented Algebra, Differential Calculus, Imaginary numbers, factorials, happy numbers and magic numbers. In fact, every time that you have ever been given any test in school relating to mathematics there's a strong possibility that it was written by Indians.

When you think about it, Indians are bastards aren't they?