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Since the dawn of time man has asked one question. Who is Raliter? And why should we care? Scientists will say that those questions and their answers are completely irrelevant, and that it would be two questions, not one. The following story, while not full of morals and real-life meanings, is not very interesting or informative. This is the story of Raliter.


Raliter was not born on the planet Krypton, where his parents did not send him into space shortly before the planet was destroyed. Raliter later did not land on earth, to be raised by a kindly farmer and his wife. Raliter did not work for the The Daily Planet, under the alias of Clark Kent. Raliter would not go on to save the world from multiple evil super-villains, not using his super abilities and ridiculously good looks.


Raliter did not assassinate this man.
This is not a portrait of Raliter.
This is not a memorial dedicated in Raliter's honor.

  • Raliter did not end World War II
  • Raliter did not win the 1921 Nobel Prize for his services to Theoretical Physics, and especially for his discovery of the law of the Photoelectric Effect
  • Raliter was not the first woman to successfully complete a solo flight over the Atlantic Ocean
  • Raliter did not found Maryland in 1634
  • Raliter did not kill King Faisal of Saudi Arabia
  • Raliter was not the author of The Odyssey
  • Raliter did not star in the hit TV show The Brady Bunch
  • Raliter did not create the Earth
  • Raliter did not win an Oscar for his performance in the movie Citizen Kane
  • Raliter did not invent the Printing Press
  • Raliter was not the first man to walk on the Moon
  • Raliter did not create the first organized religion
  • Raliter did not invent sliced bread
  • Raliter is not the Son of God
  • Raliter did not clone the dinosaurs and put them into a park, later creating a very entertaining movie
  • Raliter did not create the Grand Canyon
  • Raliter has never climbed a rainbow
  • Everything Raliter touches does not turn into Skittles
  • Raliter has not lived passed the age of 100
  • Raliter did not invent the Transistor
  • Raliter did not invent the Burrito
  • Raliter has never boldley gone where no men have been before
  • Raliter does not wear short shorts
  • Raliter did not write the English Bill of Rights
  • Raliter's name is not John Jacob Jingleheimershmidt
  • Raliter has never gotten to the center of a Tootsie Pop