User:Remmik/Why?:do we ask why?

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This article is part of Uncyclopedia's Why? series. See more Why's?

Why do[edit]

We are plagued with the fundamental question of all time, for all time. Why?

Indeed, most of the time it is just that simple of a question. Sometimes, it is followed by more direct and quick inquisitiveness; "Why do birds suddenly appear.....every time you are near?" Sometimes they, just as quickly, have a presumably factual answer; "Just like me they want to be...close to you". But therein lays the fundamental problem to the fundamental question (fundamentally speaking). Do birds really want to be close to "him" and if so...why? do they want to be close to him? Do we speculate like "she" has done? Do we dare show our pseudo omnipotence by answering a "why" even though we really don't know why? Of course, that is our nature; the birds are in love with this man, just like the women. She has alluded to this. They wish to broaden their gene pool...really! Our mental process is now tainted by a small suggestion and is now full steam ahead. It is now free to make its own conclusions based on little or no facts and mostly on perspective speculation. Now to you this may seem like a far fetch answer (the love birds not the latter) but let’s examine the core of "Why".

Reasons to ask why.[edit]

  • Antagonism

Attempting to make someone annoyed in an effort to make your self feel better; "Stop it!" "Why?...I'm not touching you"

  • Desperation

When even the MS office assistant can't help you write your farewell letter; "Why, when I write 'This, my final letter.', do you keep saying 'Fragment (consider revising)'."

  • Innocence

With no alterior motive. As pure as; "Why can't I go to hell, mommy? You tell daddy to go there all the time."

  • zealous

Eager to do it with out really wanting to know why not; "Let's do it" "Yea! Why not?"


<afterwards>

  • Regret

Realizing it's sometimes best to wait for the answers; "Why'd we do that?...doesn't that make us gay?" "Not me, you played my skin flute"

Why do we not[edit]

Man has learned to conform. At times in our lives we are beaten down and broken, knowing never to ask why; "Why? do you want me to work overtime with no pay?" Sometimes, instinctively, for our own good we should refrain from asking why; "Honey, why do you want to invite Sharon over? It's 3am and you are way drunk". Honey: "Uh...Fine never mind, but you look tired. I'll have her take me home later".

Conclusion[edit]

Why?