User:Savethemooses/HorridColbertRoughDraft

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

Welcome to Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit, but no HONEST AMERICAN would steal from.

We have inspired Stephen Colbert to steal from 46,156 articles since opening in January 2005.


Our STRAIGHTFORWARD and GRACIOUS leader Chronarion has posted his 2006 State of the Wiki Address


Before editing, please read the Beginner's Guide and browse the Big Five.




Politics | Games | Computers | People | Quaint | Coherent
Best of | Alphabetical Index | Other Categories...


J.D. Salinger wrote a book about baseball or bread or something.
Vote for featured image

Today's REAL, HONEST TRUTH


Today's Featured Article - Ceiling Cat

Recently featured:

Extension:DynamicPageList (DPL), version 3.3.2: Warning: No results.

Yesterday's Featured Article -

Extension:DynamicPageList (DPL), version 3.3.2: Warning: No results.

You can vote for your favorite ORIGINAL articles to be featured.

More of the best of Uncyclopedia

Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop


God-fearing American anniversaries

January 26: National 'Hail Zeus' day (Ancient Greece)

Dude, I, like, pwn you!
  • Beginning of Time - Zeus is begat by Chronos and Chaos.
  • 3457 BC - Zeus gets it on with his wife/sister, Hera. He has Orpheus invent the banjo to provide some mood music for their wedding night. Unfortunately, the song he creates for that special occasion is later used in the film Deliverance.
  • 353 - Christianity takes a whack at Zeus.
  • 700 - Zeus commands the French to worship him. When they refuse, he curses them with garlic and an irrational fear of washing.
  • 1879 - Zeus smites the prototype caboose to advert unflattering poetry. Unfortunately, it is reinvented three days latter.
  • 1901 - The popular phrase "I dont give a fuck" is used for the first time by John Keats when he found out that the toothpaste he was using was actually his shaving cream.
  • 1959 - Under the pen name Dr. Zeuss, Zeus begins to write children's literature. His first book is "Hop on MILF", in which a Greek god transforms into various animals in order to make out with human women.
  • 1974 - Zeus curses John Boorman for using his wedding-night song in Deliverance. When Boorman's next film, Zardoz, flops, Zeus simply laughs.
  • 2002 - Zeus decides he doesn't like George W. Bush and decides to strike him down, but can't find any lightning bolts. Instead he sends him a cursed pretzel.
  • 2010 - A Greek man charged with sodomistic rape of an Iranian woman is found not guilty in celebration of the verdict being read on this holiday.

Archived Anniversaries

Today's TRUE Wørd

Jesii
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power. Stealing is sin.

Unbiased News for the American Patriot


PlutoInColor.jpg


















File:LLL


More Current Events at UnNews News


Hey, America, did you know...

  • ...that I can't write?
  • ...that you can't read?

Say, Patriot, do you care...


Read More

Heroes of the Month

Writer of the month.png
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward.png
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared.png
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

You only have 5 (Five) more days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!

Uncyclopedia's sista projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects.
UnNews Logo Potato (No text).png UnNews
The news source on crack
Uncyclopedia Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia
Undictionary Undictionary
The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
UnTunes UnTunes
Where noisy things can live and prosper
Game-Logo notext.png Games
Another way to waste time
Gorillatrans.gif HowTo
Instructions and guides for anything and everything
UnBooks UnBooks
Content-free books
Unquotable Unquotable
Useless misquotes galore
Uncycloversity Uncycloversity
If it makes sense, we don't want it
UnPoetia UnPoetia
Poetry for people who hate poetry
Undebate logo.svg UnDebate
Debating all the irrelevant issues
UnScripts UnScripts
We can ruin stage and film too
Why.svg Why?
Don't make me explain it to you twice
UnReviewsLogo.png UnReviews
We'll tell you why things suck
Uncyclomedia Commons notext.png UnCommons
Broken media repository


Uncyclopedia Languages

The original Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 32209 articles. This mirror Uncyclopedia contains 46,156 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
United Kingdom
Uncyclopedia
English
United Kingdom
32209
Desciclopédia
Português
Brazil
55795
アンサイクロペディア
日本語
Japan
20690
Nonsensopedia
Polski
Poland
18332
Nonciclopedia
Italiano
Italy
14881
Italy
France
Désencyclopédie
Français
France
10060
Inciclopedia
Español
Spain
5732
偽基百科
正體中文
Taiwan
6672
Uncyclopedia.de
Deutsch
Germany
24
Hikipedia
Suomi
Finland
8014
Finland
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on June 14, 2019.
If you find the Uncyclopedia mirror or its sista projects worthy, please consider making a donation to help the victims of the War on Terra:

For nonsense related IRC chat, see this instructional video.

Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.