From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
Stop hand.png
You need level 29 clearance (or £500) to access it.
In Soviet Russia guard bribes YOU
Boredkid.jpg This user is a Registered User and they can upload images and move pages, whoopdie freakin doo.
UnNews Logo Potato.png This user is a reporter for UnNews because they couldn't get a job at a real newspaper.
uk-4 This user speaks Correct English at a near-native level.
fr-G This user does not speak Français and furthermore believes Français to be an embarassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of Français.
bs-0 This user does not understand Bullsh!t and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
sa-3 This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of Sarcasm.
Guitar-22px.jpg This user plays guitar because it attracts more groupies, and gets more solos than the bass.
Did you know…
that Uncyclopedia has several thousand, more amusing articles than my userpage. Oh you know that, then why the hell are you hear. Moron.

“I think this is simply the greatest user page ever!”

~ Me on My User Page

“It's Shite”

~ Everyone Else in the Galaxy on My User Page

Ah, so you managed to get past my Russian guards and my quotes did you, I suppose thats something, most don't make it that far. My name is not important, all you need to know is I'm watching you, and your articles and if I see even the slightest opportunity to insert a fantastically witty quote I'll be there before you can say Oscar Wilde. Scared? You should be.

There will be no warning, no mercy just a swift one liner, capable of destroying your article. People will be so amazed by it that they won't bother reading the rest of whats on your page. Your readership will fall, then you won't be laughing, however everyone else will muhahahaha....

Articles Which Have Been Ruthlessly Attacked By My Quoting Powers (or other editing skills.)
-Team America: World Police
-Mr. T
-Russian Reversal
-Russian double reversal
-Russian quadruple reversal
-Matt Damon
-The AAAA-Team
-Al Capone
-Karl Marx
-Why the chicken crossed the road
More Coming Soon!

People/Groups of People Who Have Been Declared As Enemies For Crimes Against Er.. Me.
-Josiah Messiah, for being an idiot, having no sense of humour and talking about education WAY WAY too much. AND attempting to edit my user page, the pure cheek. What did I ever do to him hmm? is now no longer an enemy, put down the pitch forks.
-Anyone who knows Josiah, as they're all partly responsible damn it. has also been pardoned for crimes against the crown.
-Goths, as they depress me on purpose, cheer the [email protected]*$ up!
-Emos for being cheap imitations of goths.
-Chavs, no explaining required.
-Bert, for being a major cause of global terrorism.

Note that anyone on this list will find their articles being attacked with quotes much quicker than everyone elses, before you can say Wilde. They are priority targets, fire at will.

People/Groups of People Who Will Not Have Their Articles Brutally Ripped To Shreads.
-Chuck Norris- Seriously would you pick a fight with him?
-Jesus- Seriously would you pick a fight with the Gee Man either?
-Microsoft- Their legal department would probably sue me for every penny I have!
-Mr T.- He don't need no quotes, his van is fast foo'.
-The Inventor of Russian Reversal- Is an absolute genius and deserves mutual respect.

Full Articles I Have Written Myself
UnNews:Media Embarassment as Bird Flu Fails to Harm...Anyone?
UnNews:Communists Shocked By Pro-Capitalist Protests