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This article hates America, just like everyone else does. See more about Unamerica.

Consequently, this article lacks much or any redeeming intellectual value. However, even though no one smarter than a doorknob has contributed significantly to this article, it still contains more truth than you may be able to handle.

Thenooblord is the Lord of all Noobs. From his parents basement in Canada, his holiness, like everybody else, hates all those n00bs from America.

Early Life[edit]

Thenooblord spent much of his childhood Kitten Huffing and getting dropped on his head by his dad. As a result of this, he was deemed SPEHSHUL and got to ride the short bus to school. Being retarded, he is immune to the idiocy that comes with a "functional" mind, and therefore he never gets into arguments over nothing, flames strangers on internet chat sites, or says that America doesn't suck.


Thenooblord enjoys many things. These include the aforementioned Kitten Huffing, in addition to shooting things, eating, sleeping, hating America, and of course, pwning teh noobs! The keen observer may notice that he lives in Canada but still manages to shoot things (provided that this so-called keen observer knows Canada's gun laws), but this can be explained. In the province of Ontario, there exists a magical town called Scarborough, where semi-automatic weapons and assault rifles sell for $2.99 at Canadian Tire. However, the remoteness of this locale makes travelling to and from it perilous and often fatal. When it is mentioned that he likes shooting things, "things" refers only to those primate-like creatures that dwell south of the Canada/US border, because no Canadian would ever hurt an intelligent, sentient being (except baby seals).

Pwning teh n00bs[edit]

Severe retardation has caused social abandonment by his peers, thus allowing him to have no life and play MMORPGs all day every day. By playing for untold hours, his practice eventually overcame his retardation and allowed him to do what he always dreamed; massacre complete strangers for no reason in some MMORPG that nobody cares about. Unfortunately for him, his pwnage is cancelled out by his inability to ever shut the fuck up about the MMORPG that nobody cares about when talking to people that have no clue what he's talking about. Apart from THAT game, he is also competent at shooting zombies in the face and eating your face AS a zombie. The nooblord also fancies himself a gun doc. Even though he can't fix his own guns he'll try to fix yours.


Thenooblord often spends his days making Microsoft Sam say "soi soi soi" over and over. His only other interest is waffles, which, as we all know, are infinitely better than those friggin' pancakes. Seriously, who eats pancakes? Also about 10 kilograms of weed a day. Porn... Uhhh..... Oh and burning stuff.