User:Timothy Language

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Timothy Language is a an evil doctor. He is a doctor of Psychology, Sexual Abuse Advice, Thinking of Insults for the Mothers of Various People, Thinking of Smart-Assed Answers, and Argumentativity. He is also a fantastic linguist.

He DOES NOT keep his unfinished work here.

Early Life[edit]

Dr. Language was a bully forceful child born in North London, England. He was large for his age and he was excellent at bending the will of people less intelligent than himself. He would look them in the eye, push his glasses up the bridge of his nose, and bellow his request so loudly that the child listening would cry and wet themselves.

By the age of 4, his personality attracted many prospective future partners. The main problem was that they were mainly 5 year old boys. Annoyed at his status as a target for gay men, Timothy began to think of a method for repelling the boys. He decided to use his vast and colourful vocabulary to insult every member of the boys' family he could think of. After extensive testing, he discovered that "Your Mom" jokes were the most effective, as the boys cried hardest when young Timothy began describing "Mommy Dearest" to his gay audience. This layed the foundations for a successful career as a brilliant psychologist of many fields.

After this victorious psychological battle, Master Language had created a reputation for himself. He was no longer thought of as a bossy kid, he was now considered a genius that understood how people worked and how to hurt them. As mentioned before, Timothy Language was no midget. He stood head and shoulders above everyone his age who was not standing on a chair. But even on the ground, he stood at least head above everyone else his age. Because of his size, he was also able to exert his authority phyically as well as psychologically.

At the age of 6, he had earned the nickname "Gorilla Boy" due to the appearance of premature facial hair. He kept his peers' jokes about his cheeks to a minimum by reminding them of his immense size. By this time, Timothy had already developed a hunger for the sight of a naked human female. He did not expect to be allowed to touch them yet, but he remained hopeful. His school teacher was a 22 year old woman (brunette, with a perfect figure). One day he followed her to the toilet and offered to wipe her after she had urinated. She accepted. Timothy did not use toilet paper. But he did use a condom...

After this episode, the teacher moved to Scotland, where she was later arrested for necrophillia when her twin brother died and she was discovered giving the corpse a Blowjob.

By the age of 9, Timothy Language had fingered 6 more girls since his teacher. He had wisely chosen some cloer to his own age (they were 11). He had developed a taste for girls with red hair as blondes were not worthy of someone with such high intelligence and the brunettes were all lesbians. Girls with black hair came at a close second as they were generally bisexual.

Gaining His Degrees[edit]

Dr Language got his title by becoming a doctor. He gained his PhD for psychology from the back of a cereal box and his Sexual Advice PhD from eBay. He is yet release the source of his other degrees.

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