User:Todd Lyons/blog

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19 November 2006[edit]

At of this writing, I've huffed ~1200 articles from Uncyclopedia since the start of Forest Fire Week. As much as I'd love to take advantage of the open season to clean up a bit more, I've got other commitments coming up this week so I'll probably have to go quietly. I feel better about the place knowing it has a lot fewer stubs. I didn't kill nearly as many as I could have, either. Quite a number still have potential, or disarmed me with their utter ridiculousness.

Lots of Uncyclopedians seem to keep lists of articles that amuse them, are too stupid to live but somehow survive anyway, or even just unique edit-summary entries in the changelog. I've always meant to start a list of stupid articles that are too stupid for me to contemplate deleting. Here's a couple to start. Add to the list if you want.

15 November 2006[edit]

I've struggled with depression for most of my life; before I even understood what depression was. When depression begins early in your life, as it did in mine, it becomes impossible to distinguish, at least internally, as something abnormal. If it's something you've experienced over a long period of time, it becomes what you recognize as your own personality.

I'm something of a stranger to myself, because I really don't know who I am without depression. I don't think that person exists. He hasn't, for at least as long as he's been self aware enough to think in those abstract terms.

Over the years I have learned to mask it, particularly at work. My success varies depending on the amount of stress in my life. I'm quite successful and well liked, so I suppose I do a good job at it most days. On the days that I'm not, I can at least be relied on to be very open to what's going on in my life and what I'm doing to handle it.

Some days are worse than others. On days like yesterday and today, it's especially difficult. While I've never given any serious thought to suicide, I do regularly re-visit the comparison of a world with me in it, versus one without. My conclusion is always the same: whatever I've lived through as a child is in the past — a past that I'm prepared to keep dealing with though it is painful. But no amount of pain I have experienced would justify the harm I could do by leaving this life prematurely. At the end of the day, it's my children that keep me focused. Bringing them into this world brought with it a lifetime commitment, and one that I intend to honour. I want them to grow up well, with none of the emptiness, doubt, and lingering questions that I have. ~ T. (talk) 17:00, 15 November 2006 (UTC)

4 November 2006[edit]

If I had the time and inclination, I would go back and hyperlink all the times I have expressed frustration over my writing, and link it to this page. Then, I'd list the number of times I've bashed my head on the wall over not being able to tell whether my work is funny, or not. I seriously can't tell. How can you be objective when you're so intimately entwined with the material?

Early on I was pretty brash about self-nomination, and would nominate just about everything I wrote, but I found Fecal E.Coli a hard act to follow. From my narrow perspective, everything I produced had value, because I was present for the creation and crafting. A year later, I'm really no closer to understanding why my mojo comes and goes, where it is while it's gone, who it's cheating on me with, and whether I should be using some sort of protection.

It's odd, to me at least, that my material draws such a wide variation of response from people: laughter, indifference, and sometimes anger. Odd, because they all came from the same person, a similar place (my frontal lobe, which isn't that big), and reflect mostly-equivalent amounts of thought and effort on my part.

Periodically, I'll go back and revise one of my old/ignored articles and see if I can make it into something that people will really like. So far, it seems like a lost cause. It could be the material I select... too nerdy, too controversial, or God knows why. Bad execution?

I wish I could say it's magic, or being struck by lightning, but then a couple of my articles were just tossed-off without the intention of going anywhere, and yet they were extremely popular. It defies any explanation I can think of.

What is clear though is that I'm not the expert of my own writing, and probably never will be, and will always be entirely dependent on patient people to read through my new stuff and leftovers and figure out what's inspired, and what's just insipid.  :) And they have my gratitude in advance. ~ T. (talk) 17:22, 4 November 2006 (UTC)

28 October 2006[edit]

Yesterday marked my one year anniversary here at Uncyclopedia, and prompted some reflection on how this place has changed my life for the better. Seriously. In Uncyclopedia, Chron has truly produced the Publishers Clearing House of all things idiotic, and I'm grateful for that. Mostly. Having the adminly power of delete for the last 11 months has helped, because even within idiocy there is a continuum of quality.

For my part, I've started a few projects that have taken off and I've had the opportunity to write down a lot of stuff that I otherwise might have just taken to my grave (though, in some cases, maybe that would have been preferable).

But I'm most thankful for the support and friendship of some truly great people here, and I try to repay that debt whenever possible.

I'm going to stop writing now, before this turns into an entry from last year's State of the Wiki Address. ~ T. (talk) 13:33, 28 October 2006 (UTC)

20 September 2006[edit]

After another whirlwind trip between Ottawa and Indy and back, everything's finally done.  :) Wired some cable TV jacks, put a fancy-ass carpet running down the grand staircase, and finished a few smaller projects... then.... locked the door. What a great feeling. Our property manager was pretty blown away after his inspection tour. The "Christmas look" in his eyes and his enthusiastic response bodes well for finding a good tenant to care for the place while we're in Canada. My brain is still a bit dull from the stress, but starting to get more limber again after at least one good day's rest. Hopefully I'll be able to write the grade A papers I'll need by Tuesday of next week. Speaking of which, I really have no business being on the Internet right now.  :( ~ T. (talk) 13:18, 20 September 2006 (UTC)

14 September 2006[edit]

Just killing some time in the University Centre food court waiting for my brother in law to get out of class at 4. Did I mention that I picked up a Dell Inspiron B130 for cheap? $400 US including tax and shipping, and including a free memory upgrade to 512MB. The only problem, of course was that it came pre-loaded with Windows XP Home and a host of lame-ass time-limited evaluation nagware software nagware. I blew that off the drive on arrival and installed SUSE Linux 10.1 and I've been a happy camper ever since. The university is fairly linux retarded and their instructions for connecting to campus wireless internet was Windows specific. After trying for some time to try to get it working with SUSE's networkmanager from the GUI, I reverted to just connecting from my command line -- "dhclient wlan0" from a command window -- and boom, I'm online typing this on the wireless network. If you want to try linux, I highly recommend openSUSE, especially for laptops. Ubuntu / Kubuntu 6.06 is a good choice for your desktop. SUSE and Kubuntu look and work like Windows, so it's not like you're diving into cold water. Try it already. Quit sending greenbacks to Mr. Bill. Everyone I know who's tried the new version of Microsoft Office is freaking out over the interface change for the Vista release. Rather than waste money on a Vista / Office upgrade, it's time to jump ship to Linux and OpenOffice. That is, unless you're a sad, pathetic mindless sheep, or some kind of coward.  :) Well, we'll still be friends anyway, even if you don't switch. But you should. Even Frank said so. ~ T. (talk) 19:34, 14 September 2006 (UTC)

13 September 2006[edit]

Got back to Ottawa Monday evening. Didn't fall asleep at the wheel this time, so that's a plus, both for me, and any innocent people I might have taken with me. Had a brush with death on my last trip back when I awoke to find myself a couple of carlengths behind a minivan, and swerving into the passing lane. Must've been out a couple of seconds. NOTE: It's not a good idea to drive for over half a day, stay 24 hours, then return. ALSO: Living in one country while attending school in another isn't a good idea. If you can avoid it, do so, unless both places are border towns. Hopefully this weekend will be my last trip to the Lyons Mansion. It's hard to stay alert over such a long trip, but the distance seems to be getting smaller with each pass. I think it's because I'm paying less attention to signs... just the major highway changes. I'm several hundred dollars in the hole on books, and still have at least one more to buy. Yay. I'm actually supposed to be reading one now, so I should probably quit avoiding the task by writing stuff you don't really care about anyway. P.S. Still waiting for an invitation from Carlb for a get-together over some grilled-cheese sandwiches, Tim Horton's donuts, or some other local delicacy. I'll keep you appraised. ~ T. (talk) 23:33, 13 September 2006 (UTC)

10 September 2006[edit]

After a whirlwind of effort to "complete" my restoration project on my c.1895 home, I left last Wendesday morning to start classes at University on Thursday. A 13 hour drive. Yay. Still, my wife reminded me there were a few things still to do: wiring the phone lines (I had none upstairs), adding a handrail down the 2nd floor back stairs, and some other smaller things. So I drove the 13 hours back "home" from school to work on them this weekend. I have a bit more to do today before I leave again tomorrow morning for another long drive back to Ontario for my Tuesday morning classes. Wish me luck. I'll try to make more appearances here despite the fact that I already have pending assignments and readings after the first day of class. Bastards.  :) I know I'll need a few laughs to stay alive. Keep the funny coming. ~ T. (talk) 12:00, 10 September 2006 (UTC)