User:Trar/old userpage

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This is my old userpage, before it was renovated on June 9, 2007. The reason this is here is for historical purposes. I renovated it because let's face it, this is just too cluttered, too much to handle! I wanted something different, something new, something other than this. Something that has less of an impenetrable shell of templates, quotes and other stuff, and more actual content and information on the inside. Note that I also brought back the most recent menu bar BEFORE the renovation. So, without further adieu, I present you, my old userpage, exactly before it was renovated:

AntiFeatured.png Template:Switch

is my anti-drug
The one and only....Trar!

(even on Uncyclopedia my Internet alias still dazzles all)

Hold on!
If you want to read Trar's Userpage, you must read The Copyright Disclaimer Fine Print first:
(you don't have to)

Keep all guards and shields in place. Batteries not included. Offer void where prohibited by law. Allow 6-8 weeks for delivery. Do not light near face. Slippery when wet. Keep fingers and toes away from moving parts. Objects may be closer than they appear. Read and understand the owner's manual. Some assembly required. If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding. The white zone is for loading and unloading only. Parental guidance advised. No user serviceable parts. Packaging may smother children. Keep left. Do not remove this tag. Hearing protection must be worn. May cause severe burns. Euphemisms are for the differently-brained. Not suitable for human consumption. Caveat nausem. It is forbidden to piss into the wind. Shuttlecraft should not exceed warp 7.5. May cause anal leakage. Management is not responsible for lost or stolen articles. You will not suffocate if elevator stalls. My cat's breath smells like cat food. Tighten belts monthly. Consult your doctor if symptoms persist. Don't stand, don't stand so, don't stand so close to me. Product may differ from illustration. Insert TAB A into SLOT B. Clean your room. This is not the luggage tag specified by the Geneva convention. Side effects may include mild to moderate death or coma. Prosecutors will be violated. Bridge out. This spot reserved for general manager. Tow away strictly enforced. High voltage - Do not open. Pie may be hot. Breaking seals voids warranty. Line forms here. Do not feed the trolls. Contains scenes of graphic violence, full-penetration sexuality, and fuzzy bunnies - Viewer discretion advised. May contain testicles nuts. If the wind changes, your face will be stuck like that. Do not apply to or near mucous membranes. Trucks must report when lights flashing. No refund on anally-fitted rodents. Check your weapons at the door. Political incorrectness is strictly encouraged. Remove before flight. This page intentionally left blank. Gusty winds may exist. WARNING! LARK'S VOMIT! May explode if inserted incorrectly. Causes ebola in cockroaches. You'll put somebody's eye out with that thing. Change filter bag when full. Don't look down. Fat chicks need love too. Check pattern buffer before operating transporter. Don't make me angry. . . You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. Start brain before engaging mouth. The doctor said you'd get fewer nosebleeds if you'd just keep your fingers out of there. Replace only with fuse of same type. Warp drive should not be engaged in space-dock. That's the one thing I could never stomach about Santa Carla: All the damn vampires. No one will notice this line. I am the one who all your base are belong to. Ho! Aha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! Thrust! Kingdom of Loathing! This template not for internal use.

Okay, now on with the userpage....

Corvette.jpg This user smells funny

...and has been awarded been given got a new car smell-scented air freshener.

Caternest.jpg You have been cited in Uncyclopedian Bios.
Apparently you are "notable".
Don't ask me why; I think you're lame.





News-hindie.jpg If you are offended by this article, consider testing out your new Template:RPG Stat skill instead!

Template:Really Random Sighting



Uncyclopedia Puzzle Potato Notext.png
For those who are easily amused, Uncyclopedia has a totally unrelated article about: User:Cajek/randomfeatured

Did you know…
...that Trar is not addicted to Cowbell anymore????

“Oooh...shiny colors and flashy pictures......”

~ You on Trar's Userpage


~ Trar on Euroipods

I grant Benson a full apology. However, I still don't like him. I am a strong Anti-Bensonite now. Watch out, Benson!”

~ Trar on Benson


~ Master Chief Petty Officer SPARTAN-117 on being quoted

“Trar, may the QuickVFD be with you.”

~ Braydie on vanity articles and malicious user page edits


~ God on Oscar Wilde's statement above

“Trar has glasses.”

~ Captain Obvious on Trar


~ Trar on his parents


~ Trar on The Thought Police coming to arrest him, since they think he is CRIMETHINK

“He is most definitely CRIMETHINK. He is our greatest enemy, and must be vanquished!”

~ Big Brother on Trar



“Fuck you!”

~ Trar on Big Brother

“Totemize him!”

~ The Inquisition on Trar

“I think that's enough quotes now.”

~ Famine on Trar's quotes

What Trar Looks Like: Gslayer.PNG
Real Name: Call me whatever you like.
Age: Cheese.
Gender: MALE, BITCH!
Member since: 17:56, 26 December 2006 (we're not really sure though)
Weight/Mass: It's embarassing!
Occupation: Slave
Favourite Article: No favorite have I. Okay, I admit, Nihilism is pretty close.
Least Favorite Uncyclopedia In-joke: None.
Weapon of Choice: Depending on the situation, it would have to be either a bad-ass quarter gun, a toy ray gun, or a battle rifle.
Insult Swordfighting Level: Huh? What's insult swordfighting???????
Favorite Game: Zork Crackdown Grueslayer Kingdom of Loathing!
How Cool Is Trar?: Infinitely cooler than <insert name here>.
Infobox ripped off legally taken from AAA! This message added by AAA himself.

If you made it through all those templates and quotes, you're a trooper.

Welcome to Trar's Userpage!

I was M0000ARG11S, and not proud of it.

I have joined the The Grue Army, and you may now refer to me as

Grue Jammy.gifSir(Braydie said i'm not a sir) Trar, Soldier of The Grue Army, Red SquadronGrue Jammy.gif

Join today!

Oh yeah, I also play Kingdom of Loathing now. If you want to find me, my ID number is #1334618, I am a Turtle Tamer under the name Trar(that's my Internet alias), and no, i'm not selling you my fuckin' awesome custom outfit.

Curious about my custom outfit? If you want to see it THAT BAD, register a profile on KoL and try to find a player whose ID is #1334618 and whose username is Trar. That's me, and my custom outfit is listed on my profile page. Trust me, it's awesome! Don't worry, KoL is set up so you can't spend a huge amount of time on it(unless you're careful), and if you don't like it, your profile is deleted if it's inactive for 60 days.


^^^^Whoo! There! I hope you got the message!^^^^

I can even be found on Xbox Live. My Gamertag is, you guessed it, Trar!(oh i am so overreactive, aren't i?)

I've discovered IRC, and its wonderful magic abilities. Funny things can happen there, as seen in the following transcripts:

<UNKNOWNFILE> Carps <Trar> Are fish, and when hickory-smoked, taste good.

Every day, at least one person will be killed. Today a person has died by way of being dropped down an empty elevator shaft.

Currently working on Game:Grueslayer and would appreciate volunteers. Game:Grueslayer is found at the ending of The Abyss.

Try this if you can't beat The Abyss by yourself.


Barney is the source of children's television EVIL!!!! HE MUST DIE!!!!!!!!!!!

The Story Of How Trar Came To Be![edit]

Trar "He Doesn't Have A Last Name" Sr. (or Jr., his birth files are actually hentai crap) was born on a 'whim', as most overused, cliched Uncyclopedia celebrities would say. His early childsh00d is blurry, so we'll skip that. (he probably was in planning.......muahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Trar's former home before and after Hurrikane Katrina.

Trar once went to the beach, and after a severe sunburn, got BLOBS OF SALINE ALL OVER HIM! EWWWWW! (true story) (dear god kill me now, that was a link to a WIKIPEDIA ARTICLE!)

Trar eventually found a Sega Genesis in a dumpster and contracted Ebola. The Ebola part is pointless, so Chuck Norris cured him. However, the Genesis changed his life.....

By introducing him to video games!

Also, Trar admits this biography sucks ass.


Thus Trar is an expert THIS HAS BEEN CENSORED, B1TCH!!!!!!!!! HAVE A F*****G F1ELD DAY MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, but we don't know how.

THEN Trar stumbled upon The Internet, then Wikipedia, then Uncyclopedia, then M0000ARG11S, and now Trar!

Trar is currently wanted by the Federal Bureau of Investigation (the FBI) and the Police for illegal use of Userboxes.

And for his illegally owned pet Grue. If you see him, contact the cops IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or the Queen Of Hearts. Or this guy, whichever comes first.

The following is a message from the local hippie group: We must save the Maine page!

Recently, Trar has broken his addiction to Cowbell.

Trar's Creations[edit]

(featued articles are in italics)

What Trar Likes[edit]

  • Reading Wikipedia (when I feel like doing research)
  • Video games
  • Lucky Charms!
  • Mexican food
  • Custard
  • Censors

What Trar Dislikes[edit]

I ain't kidding about the 1337.

Happy Chairman Award[edit]

Recently, Trar has been giving this award out to users who contribute content that Trar finds funny.

Or just because Trar likes the recipent user.

My Userboxes[edit]

Z This user has found the Twenty Treasures of Zork and beaten Zork: The Great Underground Empire.

Z2 This user has united the Golden Egg of Arkora and beaten Zork 2: Gruel and Unusual Punishment.

Zork This user edits the Zork trilogy.
Grueslayer.PNG This user created Grueslayer.
Grueslayer.PNG This user edits Grueslayer.
Grueslayer.PNG This user is a Grueslayer implementor.
Grueslayer.PNG This user has been eaten by a grue in Grueslayer.

Grueslayer.PNG This user finished Grueslayer on easy mode. What a pathetic pansy.

Grueslayer.PNG This user finished Grueslayer on hard mode, and is worthy of the title of Grueslayer!

Grueslayer.PNG This user slays grues in his/her sleep.

Grueslayer.PNG This user likes to play Grueslayer PvP.

ABYSS This user has survived the wretched dark place we call The Abyss.

A x2 This user is lucky to have survived going through the Grue-infested pit we call The Abyss more than once.

ABYSS x?,??? This user IS The Abyss.

Abyss This user edits The Abyss.

TA This user believes that you can never have too many text adventures on Uncyclopedia.
[insert content here] This userbox is a filler, and therefore looks ugly.

Template:User Uncyclopedia reference
no cowbell This user has broken his/her addiction to Cowbell! Long shall they live and prosper!

  1. REDIRECT Template:User explode
.EDOLPS A DAEH S'RESU SIHT Daeh-gnidolpxE.gif This user wishes they were an admin. Please grant them their wish.
Bananaseizure.gif This user will give you a seizure.
... This user would be a professional procrastinator, but he or she can't be bothered.
Nuvola apps important.png This user hates you and everyone you care about.
Deadbarney3.gif This user believes Barney is evil and therefore must die.
1+ This user has over 1 edit. Duh!
This user gots a shuvel. Yes {{{1}}} does.
NO This user doesn't care.
This user is a boy and is made of slugs, snails and puppy dog tails.

Sign1.png This user is a mutant.
BS This userpage is bullshit.
usb This user likes to use userboxes.

Usb! No, really!


RENT This space for rent.

Call 1-800-666-6666.

Firefox Logo.png This user believes the Mozilla Firefox could easily defeat Godzilla.

Gefahrensymbol F.png This user is a pyromaniac.

Nuvola apps important orange.svg This user should not be trusted.
US flag.png This user is American
...and unabashedly proud of it!
(List of American Uncyclopedians)
Sad clown.jpg
This user is a member of the Uncyclopedia Departure of Fun.
Anti-Benson.JPG This user denounces BENSON.

Template:User Gamer
750px-High voltage warning.svg.png No user serviceable parts inside.

This user is right-handed.

In Latin they would be Dexter.

Numbersix.gif This user is not a number, s/he is a free wo/man!
Template:Steal userboxes
Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow meow meow meow! MEOW!
Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Ruff! Ruff Ruff! Arf! Arf!
Template:User Dolphin
OBN.png This user is invisible, <insert name here> sees You but you don't see him/her. Tee hee!!

? This user is anonymous. That is, numbskull, he or she doesn't want you to know who he or she is.
sub subliminal!
Template:User cabal
This user has a crapload of userboxes. To see more of them, go to nowhere.

Windows Logo.png This user uses Windows because he or she can't get enough of your lover.

The Worst Part of Censorship.jpg This *bleep* user likes to *bleep* the use of *bleep* *bleep* profanity *bleep*
1px;margin:1px;width:238px;background: #Template:LangLevelBgColor 1;"
center;font-size:14pt;" | typo-1
.sdrawkcab si resu sihT

!degnellahc-yllatnoziroh TON si resu sihT :etoN
Uncyclopedia elzzup otatop.jpg
Fortune cookie 20040628 223108 1.jpg This user is being held hostage in a Chinese fortune cookie factory! Money can't buy happiness but it can certainly rent it for a couple of hours. Help!
Crystal Clear app kcmdf.png This user likes to use redundant userboxes.
Napoleon4.jpg This user is not and has never been Napoleon.
Popeeyebeams.jpg This user is a complete, irredeemable Daewoo. He/she/it is Bat Fuck Insane, and blesses at the Daewoo.
Shyny ub.jpg This user is easily distracted by anything shiny.
Earth.gif This user can be found on the Uncyclopedia Frappr Map.
Template:User wasnt my fault
Temp This is a template userbox, to create userboxes from. Anyone with it on his/her page is clearly just looking for an excuse to have more Userboxes.
Potatohead aqua.png This user wants Reese's Peanut Butter Cup featured.

Color This user likes random colored userboxes.
Clown chili peppers.jpg This user fears the clowns.
Template:User Not Calm
Template:User merc 1px;margin:1px;width:238px;background: #Template:LangLevelBgColor 0;"
center;font-size:14pt;" | bu-0
1px;margin:1px;width:238px;background: #D0F8FF;"
center;font-size:14pt;" | MS-2
Template:User cool
Stop hand.png This user has been blocked once while he was an earlier user, namely, M0000ARG11S.
Brain.gif This user's IQ is 109.

Monbags.jpg This user is POOR,

has never passed GO,

and never collected $200.00.

DramaticQuestionMark.png This user can also be found elsewhere on the internet.
no nj This user is not a Ninja, with no dominion over everything totally sweet.

SignLanguage.png This user understands American sign language.
Template:User opposes ubx screwing
253951 photo.gif Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring....BANANAPHONE!!!!

Head on.gif

HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn, available at Walgreens.

Grue Jammy.gif This user has joined The Grue Army to help Uncyclopedia kill vandals, and help users. Please join today!

This user is better than BENSON, and is an Anti-BENSON-ite! Muahahaha!

Che santoru.png This user celebrates the recent unbanning of ∩int∑ndorul∑z. Now that he is longer banned, let us hope he will come home.
This user is a Golden User.
This space for rent.

No hammer and sickle.PNG This user is an

... and is unabashedly American!

17-G This user does not speak 1337 and furthermore believes 1337 to be an embarassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of 1337.
us-N This user is a native speaker of American English.
User:Silent Penguin/benson
Leftswordguy.gif An adventurer is this user! He or she plays Kingdom of Loathing. His/her ID number in the game is #1334618.
Stop hand.png This user has been blocked 2 times as a current user, namely, Trar.
Bmup smaller.jpg This user is part of The Proofreading Service.

User:Gustavo Chapman 3rd of Normandy/spelling nazi

External Links[edit]

Barney is evil!

Make your own signs!

253951 photo.gif Not Cream of the Crap
This article is not and will not be one of the Top 10 articles of 2005, 2006, 2007, and beyond(ish).