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“What a wonderfully perfect idea you have stirring up in your mind. However, in addition to our socialisitic crusade, we should remember to claim our territory in the genius who inspiered us to do so in the first plce. Our beloved king, saviour, and all around ruler of the free (and unfree) world, Oscar Wilde.”

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אױ אַ שײנעם ברכת דער אוזערניק איז אַ מעשוגענאער שלעמיל און אַ ‫פֿאַרשטוקענע פּוץ. (Der usernik iz a meshugganah shlemiel un a farshtukenah putz.)
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This user is an Assault Soldier and is pWn1ng n00bs with his quarter gun.

Number of people who tristmaster has owned and pwned at the same time at super smash bros. since you started reading this article.:


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253951 photo.gif Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring....BANANAPHONE!!!!

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This user plays the Xbox 360 as their pretentiousness knows no bounds.

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The Patriots rule suck!!
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Wikipedia doesn't have a proper article about Tristmaster. It really wouldn't help those so-called experts by writing one either.
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This page is not appropriate for our more sensitive viewers. It may contain naughty, filthy things like breasts, boobies, tits, knockers or funbags. Nasty words like cock, fuck, capitalism, & Barbra Streisand may also appear in the text. Viewing by persons under the age of 18 is not recommended, no matter how much they want to see a page filled with cursing. That means you, <insert name here>. Yes, we know who you are & Jesus is watching you!

Grues Beyond this point. Please do not proceed unless you know how to stop a grue, or you want to be eaten.

this article is about me. me me me me me me me me mem mem emem memem emme memem mem ememmmmmemememememememememmemem,emeeemrmemememememememmemeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. ummm, yea anyway the point is. your gonna die soon. do you know why? its becouse your reading this article and saying candyman. your not? well then your very lucky, mostly becouse you'll live another 5 seconds. point is, your gonna die mostly becouse i kno where you live, and i know how to give directions to chuck norris. so he can kick your ass using a roundhouse kick.


(speaking in 3rd person) tristmaster was born in a tropical paridise with many others. although unlike the many others, he didnt laugh at mexicans. he grew up to get accounts on many other sites, such as roblox, deviantart, urban rivals, and uncyclopedia. and thats it.

Zqwall cropped.gif3D grue.png
For all those who actually belive someone has killed me. THIS is what really happened. more realisticly, it's a futile attempt to beat me in SSB. and many other online things, as well as real life.

you will see this sign on the way to my domicile.
This is your fate when you get near me in SSB.


  • death
  • your mom
  • something other than you
  • uncyclopedia
  • not getting his article huffed
  • god
  • ultimite jesus
  • master hand
  • crazy hand
  • umm
  • err
  • yea.......
  • ......................
  • .......i got it
  • he likes PIE!!!!!!!!!
  • and ice cream
  • and of course brownies
  • play the game
  • or ill kill you
  • c'mon hop to it
  • or ill get michael jackson to see you
  • if your over 12
  • ill get your future cellmate
  • his name is bubba
  • I bet you two will have lots of fun
  • your sister
such beutiful poetry.....


what else?[edit]

acording to the diagnostic the patiant suffers from severe personality and social issues. fantisizes about killing anyone or anything that acts on his dislikes. and goes against his intrests.



YES, THIS is an average encounter with me.
You shall bow down, otherwise you will be Huffed.

The Country[edit]

“In Soviet Russia, tristmasterland is dictated by YOU!!”

~ Russian Reversal on Tristmasterland

Well the country is very intresting, you see. it involves Nazism,Kommunism,facism, imperialism,and ownageism. while this creates some instability, at least he shoots all capitalists. the population is so far about 5,000 due to misbehavior. although it's a well known fact that if you worship tristmaster, you will be forgiven 1 mortal sin, as well as 3 regular sins. best of all in tristmasterland, free biscuit fridays at popeye's chicken and biscuits has been moved tooooooooooo....................all week long. a move very popular with claveman. of course things such as mcdonalds, burgerking, wendy's, and arby's, are also prominant. so remember, obay and eat the food, and you live.EXTRA: now, with this special offer, get a house in Tristmasterland for 100,000,000,000,000,000,000$ cheaper. a house is now 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000$. this special offer is only avaiable for the next 300 years,so call now, remember, in 300 years, duke nukem forever might finally come out(although most likely not) come out, so we have a reason to close the offer in celebration, or sadness. call now at 1-800-666-IPWNU, or log in at WAIT, theres more, get a house now and we will give you on FREE copy of ZORK. thats right, a FREE copy of Zork. NO, not Zork 2, Zork 3, Or Zork 4. But the ORIGANAL Zork.(ordering Zork requires 19.99$ to pay for keeping the game on your computer, as well as tax, which is another 20.00$)SO ORDER NOW. GET A FREE CAR AS WELL. Tristmastermobiles are being made to keep the people moving around. as long as you don't press any buttons, you should be fine, or at least not dead. while your at it, get a FREE tristmasternought, the greatest battleship, err motorboat, to sail the seven seas.AND NOW, get a FREE Tristmasterjet. which can fly at 42,000,000,000,000,000,000 MPH.(be warned the jet has no brakes).

(Flag) (Coat of Arms)
National Motto: "Obay Grues or we shoot you."
Official language bullet
Capital IPWNYU city
Religion tristmasterism
Independence set since the begining of time. ha just joking i control everyone through mind control
Currency super smash bros. coins
National Anthem "Obay the great Tristmaster"
National Holiday Tristmaster day, Oscar Wilde day.
National Slogan I OWN YOUR ASS


no, i did not steal them. if they look like there stolen its becouse i'm a humerous person. and i try to change the text around a little bit for laughs.