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“I dont use PhotoShop i use PaintShop Pro. Im allergic to Adobe”

~ VitalOd on National photoshopping competition

“Id rather a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal labotomy”

~ VitalOd on On being forcibly sectioned

“Jeasus saves...Beckham gets it on the rebound..”

~ VitalOd on World cup

“Woooo hoooo this is absolutely fucking amazing..!!”

~ VitalOd on Mushrooms
p1.VitalOD ( Having been accidentally decapitated VOD mysteriously loses the use of his arms and legs )
p2.VitalOD ( bigus phallapus )


Although not obvious at first glance VitalOd has had extensive prosthetic and plastic surgery This was due to a very unfortunate accident in which VitalOd mysteriously lost the use of both arms and legs not long after he was accidentally decapitated by a team of world class surgeons headed by the right honorable Pope Richard Dawkins the 1st whilst undergoing a tense 56hr operation to remove a somewhat painful splinter from the left side of his right big toe.


By the time anyone noticed it was just not possible to graft the body back onto the head due to advanced tissue laziness. All they were able to save was his penis which they promptly cut into 8 lengths to make a rather fetching set of killer poisonous tentacles ( Known as Phallacles ). These were then carefully grafted into place using 6 inch nails and standard clothes pegs.This was then tidied up using a welding torch, a blunt pick axe ,2 rivet guns, a rusty broken cheese grater and an industrial Bacon slicer.


If you look very, very closely you might be able to spot Vitals 3rd eye, this in fact doesnt belong to VitalOd at all, but was put there by the Illuminati so they can secretly spy on the general public without anyone suspecting a thing.

In the line of duty[edit]

As you can see VitalOd also suffers from chronic bilateral 'Photo Shoppers eye' caused by the constant bombardment 10's of 1000's of hrs of radiation beamed directly into his face by intense high powered 21" pre-Millennium Cathode Ray Tubes.


After many hours of top level debate it was the final conclusion of somewhat suspect team of very drunk (and recently struck off) doctors that Vitals more advanced facial deformities may have be due to the fact he was pretty dam ugly to begin with. This was also confirmed at a later date by his mother who explained how he had in fact fallen out of the ugly tree as a child and hit his face on every branch on the way down.

My pics[edit]

[all my work here at the uncyclopedia to date]


Big Dick Cream blunder 23 October 2008

Tessler :Ni-Kola 9 October 2008

Albert Eninstein : Death 15 September 2008

Awards n stuff[edit]

Potatochopper of the Month Award Potatochopper of the Month August 2008

For adding that "Pro tips" section to the Reefer Desk[edit]

Pics for sale[edit]

[] This is a blatant plug i know.. but i have to eat.