User:Weebils

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WEEBILS' Contributions[edit]

Weebils the Wonderful LOVES Uncyclopedia, so he wastes a lot of time writing cutting-edge, pulse-pounding, sexually arousing articles that no one reads, including (ta-da!):

Unnews Articles[edit]

Weebils the Wonderful has contributed the following contributions to Unnews, many of which have been lead articles and some of which have been featured articles, so there!

  • Noah: "Change your ways or drown!" - LEAD 1[1]
  • Rosie rips pope and Pooh [2]
  • Bush: "Hang 'em high!" [3]
  • Mushrooms among brainiest vegetables [4]
  • Tony Blair embraces nudism - FEATURED STORY [5]
  • True origin of Reed Richards revealed [6]
  • Romanian skull suggests link between gay men and Neanderthals [7]
  • Michael Jackson undergoes plastic surgery--AGAIN! - FEATURED STORY [8]
  • Another Iraqi car commits suicide [9]
  • Dakota Fanning sacrificed in new film [10]
  • Muslim cabbies fined for refusing fares - FEATURED STORY [11]
  • Lindsay Lohan dries out in rehab - LEAD 2 [12]
  • Redneck Reader goes visual - FEATURED STORY [13]
  • Christian theme park to open in Little Rock - LEAD 1 [14]
  • Playboy launches Braille issue - LEAD 2 [15]
  • T-shirt jokes not so funny anymore [16]
  • Oregon stiffens graduation requirements - FEATURED STORY [17]
  • Ted Kennedy consults Kopechne - LEAD 1 [18]
  • Pelosi: "Electing me was a stark blunder" [19]
  • MSNBC launches "Nude News" - LEAD 1 [20]
  • The big top becomes big business [21]
  • Hangover cure suppressed [22]
  • Educating America, one cereal box at a time [23]
  • Dakota Fanning wins posthumous Oscar [24]
  • Sarah Michelle Gellar attempts suicide [25]
  • Condom use campaign a bust? - LEAD 2 [26]
  • Mr. T wins prestigious Foolitzer Prize [27]
  • Miranda rights expanded - LEAD 1 [28]
  • Iraqi autos avenge their dead [29]
  • Ashley Judd adopts Lucy Fowler's lifestyle [30]
  • Utnapishtim celebrates 2706th birthday - LEAD 2 [[31]
  • Giger gay bar opens in Castro District [32]
  • 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue secedes from Union - FEATURED STORY [33]
  • Bowling alley changes bowl fans - LEAD 2 over[34]
  • Fashion: does it defeminize women?
  • Bellagio unveils "Toon Erotica" exhibit [35]
  • Bush questions Pelosi's manhood - FEATURED STORY [36]
  • Psychologist: Moses had Alzheimer's [37]
  • Jane Fonda seeks new husband - FEATURED STORY [38]
  • Jane Fonda incorporates herself [39]
  • Borat creator lists "Most Powerful Americans" [40]
  • Discovery of Fred Flintstone's diary sheds light on ancient Bedrock [41]
  • Stars fear Oscar may be cursed [42]
  • U. S. Department of Health and Human Services institutes homophobia code [43]
  • Brandy charged with "driving while black" - LEAD 1 [44]
  • Ted Turner publicity stunt was "performance art" - FEATURED STORY [45]
  • Clinton eulogizes stepfather [46]
  • Pelosi bill would have Bush cracking the books - LEAD 1 [47]
  • Obama considers name change - LEAD 2 [48]
  • Chewbaca arrested! [49]
  • Cartoon Network launches "Obscene Bugger Farce" - LEAD 1 [50]
  • Celebrities: "Testicles a great stress reliever" [51]
  • San Francisco outlaws spanking between consenting adults [52]
  • "Wired" police officer electrocuted [53]
  • Burger King introduces new Bun Burgers - LEAD 1 [54]
  • Spaghetti Westerns attempt comeback [55]
  • Lady Bird biography "unkind" - LEAD 2 [56]
  • NASA trip to Uranus called off [57]
  • U. S. surprised by Putin [58]
  • Pentagon revives nose art [59]
  • Wonder Woman not so wonderful [60]
  • Whedon to "homosexualize" Marvel Comics - LEAD 2 [61]
  • Accused astronaut wined and dined [62]
  • Ancient chimps invented hammer - LEAD 2 [63]
  • Celebrities return to first loves [64]
  • Rosie O'Donnell enters rehab - FEATURED STORY [65]
  • Weezil Greeting Cards: Holidays are such a joke! [66]
  • Army launches new recruiting ad campaign - FEATURED STORY [67]
  • Dope on a Rope called "promising" - LEAD 1 [68]
  • NASA goes psychedelic [69]
  • Britney Spears experiences "miracle cure" - LEAD 1 [70]
  • Alan Colmes decries ratings - LEAD 1 [71]
  • Britney bald after "miracle cure" [72]
  • Plans to build another Mt. Everest postponed - LEAD 2 [73]
  • Workplaces drug workers - FEATURED STORY [74]
  • Car drives through mural at art center [75]
  • Clint Eastwood announces bid for presidency - LEAD 2 [76]
  • Beowluf's barrow discovered [77]
  • Children's book publishers release censorship guidelines [78]
  • New Hellmouth opens in Guatemala City - LEAD 2 [79]
  • Al Sharpton arrested as runaway slave - LEAD 2 [80]
  • U. S. military training accelerated - LEAD 1 [81]
  • Canine couriers clean up - FEATURED STORY [82]
  • Mom loses custody of obese son; "Porky" removed from parents' home [83]
  • Sportscaster sidelined for sexist rmarks - LEAD 2 [84]
  • Prince Charles wants to ban McDonald's [85]
  • Doors still slamming after all these years [86]
  • Wounded Marine wants gay ban lifted [87]
  • Sex offenders may receive "special" license plates - FEATURED STORY [88]
  • Angelina Jolie adopts Thialand [89]
  • Nigeria does its best to keep Africa "the dark continent" - LEAD 2 [90]
  • Hospital delivers meals to indigent shut-ins
  • Jeep recalls Cherokees from freed slaves [91]
  • APA creates new phobias [92]
  • NAACP president resigns, citing racism [93]
  • Family beats up principal over boy's grades [94]
  • Condoleezza Rice names fictitious state as human rights violator - LEAD 2 [95]
  • Gangbankers snap up bulletproof raincoat [96]
  • High school distributes marijuana to its students - LEAD 2 [97]
  • Thomas Jefferson impeached [98]
  • FDA expands peanut butter recall [99]
  • Zombies to produce own movie - LEAD 1 [100]
  • Sarah Michelle Gellar reincarnated as comic book character - LEAD 2 [101]
  • Pet food recall alarms pet owners [102]
  • Confederate flag initiates Civil War of words [103]
  • Dutch author finds lost manuscript while tidying up [104]
  • Museum displays four-legged animals [105]
  • Police stink! - FEATURED STORY [106]
  • Las Vegas casinos institute free circumcisions - LEAD 2 [107]
  • Oz residents charged in death of Wizard [108]
  • Bart Simpson arrested for indecent exposure [109]
  • Barely There Prom Dresses popular new trend - FEATURED STORY [110]
  • American Idol finalists so bad they make audience cry [111]
  • Harlequin seeks "real men" - FEATURED STORY [112]
  • Play-Doh penis perturbs parents - LEAD 2 [113]
  • Tinted semen called "colorful" [114]
  • Saturn's wearher puts Earth's meteorological conditions to shame - LEAD 2 [115]
  • Miss America homeless again - LEAD 2 [116]
  • Global warming to end some species (maybe) [117]
  • Scientists invent new fossils [118] - FEATURED STORY
  • Women urged to name their sex toys [119]- LEAD 2
  • Science allows invisible voyeyrs [120] - LEAD 1
  • New fashion models strut their stuff on Paris runways[121] - FEATURED STORY
  • New emoticons keyboards help users put on a happy face [122] - FEATURED STORY
  • Lawrence Land to celebrate author's "literature of lewdness [123] LEAD 2
  • Lego offers sex education kit - FEATURED STORY[124]
  • Sun serendades solar system [125]
  • Blue angel kills South Carolina pilot [126]
  • Global warming to transform men into women [127]
  • Witches okay for national cemetery memorials; holy cows may be next - LEAD 2[128]
  • Senator Harry Reid's apotheosis [129]
  • Human semen a form of ectoplasm - LEAD 1 and (later) FEATURED STORY [130]
  • Uvula's true purpose discovered - LEAD 2 and FEATURED STORY [131]
  • Noah's ark to sail again - FEATURED STORY [132]
  • If elected, John McCain would build a wing onto the White House to house his pets - LEAD 1 and LEAD 2 [133]
  • Zombie Dolls for little boils and ghouls who have it all - LEAD 2 [134]
  • Celebrity Beer test-marketed in St. Louis - LEAD 2 and (later) FEATURED STORY [135]
  • Celebrity Sex Dolls sell well - FEATURED STORY [136]
  • New food pyramid proven fraudulent - LEAD 2 [137]
  • Disney adds porn to televised children's fare - LEAD 1[138]
  • Snow penises outlawed - LEAD 2 [139]
  • KFC introduces Chix on Stix [140]
  • Statuary Hall updates collection - FEATURE STORY [141]
  • Court refuses to allow dad to name son "Dick" [142]
  • Grammy winners' songs used to teach grammar [143]
  • Instructional "sex ed" museum to open in Sin City

[144]

  • Zombies to produce "Girls Gone Wild" series - FEATURED STORY [145]
  • Hollywood experiments with "mindless movies" - LEAD 2 [146]
  • Supreme Court justice redesigns robe [147]
  • Paris Hilton takes up finger painting - LEAD 1 [148]
  • Ex-fire chief doesn't like being butt of successor's "joke" [149]
  • Coca-Cola recycles its "beverage base" [150]
  • Travelers boycott Hilton [151]
  • Yoda wins "Ugliest Dog Contest" - FEATURED STORY [152]
  • New York restaurants cut fat ahead of schedule [153]
  • Activist treed by "fund-raising" deed: naked may be the better disguise, after all - FEATURED STORY [154]
  • Global warming an act of God, not man, religious leaders say - LEAD 1 [155]
  • Jessica Alba lusts after naked men - LEAD 1 [156]\
  • Tintin accused of racism - LEAD 2 [157]
  • Bush deploys clone army to Iraq - LEAD 2 [158]
  • Nuke lab makes top-secret info available to janitorial staff - LEAD 2 [159]
  • Entertainment media open luxury rehab center for "falling stars" "falling_stars"
  • Celebrities brew up a storm (but is it a tempest in a teacup? - FEATURED STORY [160]
  • Disney bans smoking [161]
  • Necrophilia okay in Wisconsin - FEATURED STORY [162]
  • Could-be jurors stand up courts - LEAD 2 [163]
  • Yahoo! caught making up news [164]
  • NASA photographs galaxies having sex [165]
  • President Bush a robot! - FEATURED STORY [166]
  • "Survivor" producer may offer miners (or families) TV series "Survivor"_producer_may_offer_miners_(or_families)_TV_series
  • Toy company boss commits suicide [167]
  • Giant jellyfish donated to Mexico [168]
  • Hubble telescope views Nowak trial - FEATURED STORY [169]
  • Michelle Trachtenberg proves she's an ass" - LEAD 1 [170]
  • Craig: "I did not have sex with that man!" - LEAD 1 [171]
  • Japanese men battle "unsightly bulge" - LEAD 1, LEAD 2, and FEATURED STORY [172]
  • Mythical beast discovered as road kill - LEAD 1 [173]
  • Shark scared to death by New Yorkers" [174]
  • Life After Buffy: The Musical [175]
  • Risque sand castle contest entry disqualified - FEATURED STORY [176]
  • Craig calls it quits on calling it quits - LEAD 2 [177]
  • Babel politics (or is that "babble politics"?) [178]
  • TV Guide publishes annual [179]
  • Sausage company admits advertising boner [180]
  • Silverstone bares soul, sort of - FEATURED STORY [181]
  • God responds to lawsuit - FEATURED STORY [182]
  • Swastika handbag recalled - FEATURED STORY [183]
  • Scientists discover Lucas' Farce - FEATURED STORY' [184]
  • Deep-voiced women have fewer kids, study says - FEATURED STORY [185]
  • Ahmadinejad pleads, "Send us your homosexuals" - FEATURED STORY [186]
  • China bans sex - FEATURED STORY [187]
  • NFL sidelines cheerleaders - FEATURED STORY [188]
  • China goes braless [189]
  • Scientists "discover" new fossils [190]
  • Owen Wilson's first post-suicide appearance - LEAD 2 [191]
  • Crandon police remove "Protect" from logo - FEATURED STORY [192]
  • Misfortune cookies: a new twist on a populat traditional "dessert" [193]
  • Russians beg officials to bury Lenin - LEAD 2 [194]
  • Schwarzengger endorses gay lifestyle - FEATURED STORY [195]
  • Parents denounce new Happy Meals toys - FEATURED STORY [196]
  • Dentist includes breast massage in his practice [197]
  • Actress portrays her own buttocks - LEAD 2 [198]
  • Hillary Clinton's dental care based on England's do-it-yourself approach [199]
  • Ellen Degenerate shows her softer side, sort of - LEAD 1 [200]
  • Military to deploy gaydar [201]
  • Bighorn sheep collared [202]
  • Selma Hayek: "My breasts are God's gift to men" - FEATURED STORY [203]
  • Being "blonde" may be catching - FEATURED STORY [204]
  • Wife asks court to declare her husband dead [205]

-- WATCH THIS SPACE; there are lots more to come!

Uncyclopedia Articles[edit]

Weebils the Wonderful has also contributed these Uncyclopedia articles: