User:Yuri von Juan

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About Sutoth

I'm Yuri von Juan, aka Sutoth Indar, aka Weirdo, aka Get Out!. I've been here since early 2006 and loved it. I'm continuing my crusade to gain at least one official Uncyclopedia award which will give me rank, but I am not getting my hopes up.

I am a student at City College Norwich, although I plan to join the army at some point this year to drive and shoot an AS90 mobile artillery. After that I plan to get drunk and throw my guts up on a pavement somewhere.

I try to go on #uncyclopedia, the official IRC channel of Uncyc, as often as possible. There's supposed to be some sort of cabal there, but I haven't seen it.

If you want to talk to me then use my talk page as it's easier than anything else.

This probably applies to you:

Hobo.jpg This user hates other users and believes they are a blemish on the world.

See Also:

My awards and crap.

Member of the Order
Certificate of Respiration
is hereby granted to:
Yuri von Juan
for his/her ability to breathe.
--Uncyclopedia HowTo
This user went to Wikipedia and all he got me was this lousy T-shirt

My Time Here

  • Joined Uncyclopedia 23 February 2006
  • My first article was huffed instantly. My first non-huffed article was Incoherence which slurs where it is to this very day.
  • I first went onto #Uncyclopedia sometime early March, at which point I met Mhaille who helped me out with Incoherence, and he proved to be pretty incoherent himself.
  • Failed to get an article featured or a nom for myself for anything whatsoever March 2006 - present day.
  • Still gods, I'm still trying...
UnNews Logo Potato.png This user is a reporter for UnNews because they couldn't get a job at a real newspaper.
Villianc.jpg This user is searching for the Cabal. If they go missing, please inform their family.
Napoleon4.jpg This user is Infact Napoleon. Celibrate.
48px-Face-surprise.svg.png This user is happy to help n00bs. Leave a message here.
Firefox Logo.png This user believes the Mozilla Firefox could easily defeat Godzilla.

ETP Help end hunger! Eat the poor!
Guitar-22px.jpg This user plays guitar because it attracts more groupies, and gets more solos than the bass.
Drumkit.jpg This user plays drums, and usually hangs around with musicians.

Newest Article

So. Here you are. A HowTo on how to kill yourself with a brick.

My God you must be some kind of retard. A brick. I mean, a brick. A sort of squarish building utensil and you're going to use it to kill yourself when you could go out by having a kitten thrown at you, and you're going to kill yourself with a brick. No wonder you don't have any friends.

You don't have any friends

This would be the main reason you're killing yourself with a brick. Because no one likes you, you don't like yourself, ergo you want to kill yourself for being such a bastard. Well. I suppose we'd better go on to step one but before that, you should explain the reason why you are killing yourself with a brick. There are two possible reasons. Select from them or continue living!

Because you're poor.

Because style wouldn't touch you with a ten-foot stick.

Read More!