User talk:5noname5

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Pre-Rendered Welcome![edit]



The Balloon welcomes you!
Hello, 5noname5, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thanks for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left...Not that far, goddammit! ...Yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:
If you read anything at all, make it the above two links, particularly the second one. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia, or need more help with something, try these:
If you feel like asking someone for help, feel free to ask me on my talk page, in the help forums, or on the Uncyclopedia IRC channel. With the forums and the IRC, keep in mind that the first response of the community is almost always general silliness. We are after all, a silly wiki, run by numerous silly, silly people. When you edit discussion pages, though, make sure you sign your name, using four tildes (~~~~) or the "sign" button (Button sig.png), above the edit box. This'll automatically produce your name and the date, and lets everyone know who the hell you are. Signing will also help you avoid the {{tilde}} template.
When you write articles, make sure you start with enough on the page so that it's not deletion-quality. If you must create a stub that you plan to expand on in the near future, use a {{WIP}} or {{Construction}} tag to mark it as a work-in-progress. However, if you leave a tagged WIP unedited for a full week, it'll wind up huffed. If the idea of impending deletion doesn't appeal to you, you should like I do, and start pages in userspace, first. This means making a page like User:5noname5/Article about stuff. In userspace just about anything goes(save for the obvious no-nos, like shock pics or other stupidity), and you can build and rework your page(s) at your leisure. Once it's done, just move into mainspace, maybe getting a pee review at some point to get constructive feedback on your article.
For new users seeking help, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Browse our list of available mentors, and leave them a message on their talk page.
Lastly, and most importantly, have fun with it! As a comedy wiki, that's kinda what Uncyc is for. Enjoy yourself, and remember to never take anything anyone here says too seriously. We have serious moments, but generally we stay pretty laid back. Also, I'm not a bot. Just 'cause you saw a similar message on a bunch of other users' pages doesn't mean I didn't have to copy and paste this one onto yours with my own meatsack of a finger. Anyways, welcome to the machine! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon.gif(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 01:48, Sep 10


I Can't believe it's not a Pre-Rendered Welcome![edit]



The Balloon welcomes you!
Hello, 5noname5, you Hell destined idiot, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Your contributions suck. I hope you get the hell away before you fuck stuff up. If not, We will kill you. Painfully. ...Yeah. That's what they all say. But, in case you insist on being such an imbecile:
If you read anything at all in your pathetic life, make it the above four links, particularly the fifth one. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia, the site we hope you leave immediately, or need more help with cutting your internet connection, try these:
If you feel like begging someone for help, feel hesitant to ask me on my talk page, in the help forums, or on the Uncyclopedia IRC channel. With the forums and the IRC, keep in mind that the first response of the community is almost always general stupidity. We are after all, a stupid wiki, run by numerous stupid, stupid people. When you edit discussion pages, though, make sure you sign your name, using seven tildes (~~~~) or the "sign" button (Button sig.png), above the edit box. This'll automatically produce your name and the date, and lets everyone know who the hell you are, so we know what to engrave on your tombstone. Signing will also help you avoid the {{tilde}} template, but it won't help you avoid the angry mob that will chase you away.
When you write articles, make sure you start with enough on the page so that it's not deletion-quality. If you must create a stub that you plan to expand on in the near future, use a {{WIP}} or {{Construction}} tag to mark it as a work-in-progress. However, if you leave a tagged WIP unedited for a full week, it'll wind up huffed. If the idea of impending deletion doesn't appeal to you, you should like I do, and start pages in userspace, first. This means making a page like User:5noname5/Article about stuff. In userspace just about anything goes(especially shock pics or other stupidity), and you can build and rework your dumb pages, maybe getting a pee review at some point to get flaming feedback on your poor excuse of an article.
For new users seeking help, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-pizza program is there to deliver experienced pizza straight to your door. Browse our list of available pizzas, and leave them a message at their pizza parlor.
Lastly, and most importantly, be a slave! As a slavery wiki, that's kinda what Uncyc is for. pain yourself, and remember to take anything anyone here says extremely seriously. We have funny, disgusting moments, but generally we stay pretty evil. Also, I'm a bot. Just 'cause you saw a different message on a bunch of other users' pages doesn't mean I wrote a different thing on every one!. Anyways, go to hell! - --5noname5 00:30, 20 November 2008 (UTC) 01:48, Sep 10

"I'll rubber your duck"[edit]

Now among one of my favorite Uncyc quotes of all time. Thank you! -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 02:42, 13 November 2008 (UTC)

Yes, it is a grand work of art, isn't it? "Rubber" and "duck"... It is so complicated and mysterious, The way they are bridged together with the "I'll" and "your", it truly would be loved by the renowned playwright Shakespeare himself...--5noname5 18:29, 13 November 2008 (UTC)

Um... yes. Have you written anything else lately? -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 01:53, 14 November 2008 (UTC)
If I came across as strange to you, don't feel alarmed. I am a very, very, weird person. As an answer to your question, Go Figure--5noname5 00:38, 20 November 2008 (UTC)
I don't mind the weird. Everyone is weird, it's just a matter of, like, levels, man.... -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 01:53, 20 November 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: 20th November2008[edit]

MrN9001 20:30, 20 November 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: 27th November2008[edit]

MrN9001 20:48, 27 November 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: 4th December 2008 (yea, we know it's late)[edit]

MrN9001 18:55, 5 December 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: 11th December[edit]

MrN9001 20:53, 11 December 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost 1st January 2009[edit]

MrN9001 00:49, 3 January 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 8th January 09[edit]

MrN9001 15:45, 9 January 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 15th January[edit]

MrN9001 21:18, 15 January 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 22 + 7 (+1) January[edit]

MrN9001 02:17, 31 January 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 5th February 2009[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 03:01, Feb 5

UnSignpost 12th February 2009[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 20:33, Feb 11

UnSignpost 19th February2009[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 17:52, Feb 19

UnSignpost 26th February 09[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 11:08, Feb 26

UnSignpost 5th March 09[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 13:38, Mar 6

UnSignpost 12th March 09[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 21:23, Mar 13

UnSignpost 19th March[edit]

MnbvcxzBot 04:44, 20 March 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 26th March 09[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 01:27, Mar 28

UnSignpost 2nd April 09[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 17:32, Apr 2

UnSignpost April 9/10th, 2009[edit]

Hand-delivered by Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 22:50, 9 April 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost April 16th, 2009[edit]

Hand-delivered by Sir Sockpuppet Of An Unregistered UserSexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg 18:58, 16 April 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 23rd April 09[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 21:22, Apr 23

UnSignpost! 1st Anniversary Special!!![edit]

Hand delivered by Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 23:02, 30 April 2009 (UTC)

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost is proud to present its 1st Anniversary Special[edit]


Hand-delivered by Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 19:54, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost May 14th[edit]

Hand-delivered by Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 19:38, 15 May 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost May 21st[edit]

Brought to you by Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 23:25, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost! May 28th, 2009[edit]

The only newspaper to be delivered by Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 20:05, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost June 4th, 2009[edit]

Delievered by Saberwolf116 02:42, 5 June 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost June 11th/12th/whatever[edit]

I think I'm going crazy. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 15:11, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost! June 18th/19th![edit]

You'd think I'd learn that this isn't fun to do... Oh well. Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 20:21, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost! June 18th/19th![edit]

You'd think I'd learn that this isn't fun to do... Oh well. Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 20:22, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

Unsignpost! June 25th or 30th[edit]

We're not late you're just high!    Orian57    Talk   Union pink.jpg 15:17 30 June 2009

UnSignpost: July 2nd, 2009[edit]

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 18:48, 3 July 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 9th July 2009[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 21:58, Jul 9

UnSignpost: July 16nd, 2009[edit]

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 21:57, 16 July 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost: July 23rd, 2009[edit]

This edition is on time, and anyone who tells you differently is lying! THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 18:25, 24 July 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost: July 30th, 2009[edit]

It's on time, you were just high and didn't realize when it got here! THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 22:02, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost! August 6th, 2009!! WE BE LATE, Y'ALL!!![edit]

Hand delivered by Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 21:48, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 13th August 2009. It's not late. You are![edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 20:06, Aug 18

UnSignpost 20th August, it's not late, your mom is![edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 11:00, Aug 24

UnSignpost 4th September[edit]

-- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 16:50, September 4, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost Randomber 5th[edit]

First and foremost, please think of the a rake Buicks! Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 18:12, 7 September 2009

UnSignpost September 10/17[edit]

Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/17-09-09 This would've gotten here last week, but it's my firs week as paperboy and I got lost. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 00:03, September 23, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost: September 24th, 2009[edit]

Hand delivered by Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 16:21, September 26, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost: October 1st, 2009[edit]

Late deliver courtesy of Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 20:21, October 5, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost Sometime October 2009[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 01:08, Oct 16

UnSignpost 22nd 23rd October 2009[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 18:04, Oct 23

UnSignpost 29-10-2009[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 01:28, Nov 3

UnSignpost Delivery! - December something![edit]

Late deliver courtesy of Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 23:57, December 29, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost January several-days-agoth[edit]

I swore I'd never hand-deliver this again. Here it is. --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 09:52, Jan 18

UnSignpost 21th January 2009[edit]

Also, it's MrN9000's mum's 60th birthday! 9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 17:30, Jan 21

UnSignpost 28th January 2010[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 14:49, Jan 28

UnSignpost 4th February 2010[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 15:06, Feb 4

UnSignpost 11th February 2010[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 12:56, Feb 11

UnSignpost 18th February 2010[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 23:30, Feb 18

UnSignpost 25th February 2010 (It's not late your mum is)[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 20:36, Feb 28

UnSignpost 4th March 2010 (your calendar is wrong)[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 00:04, Mar 6

UnSignpost 11th March 2010[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 10:54, Mar 12

UnSignpost 11th March 2010[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 10:55, Mar 12

UnSignpost 18th March 2010 (on time as always)[edit]

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/HalIcon.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/c/ca/MrNCyber.JPG 11:41, Mar 18

UnSignpost 25th March 2010 (hand delivered for added flavour)[edit]

--ChiefjusticeDS 22:21, March 25, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 1th April 2010 - Always on time[edit]

PuppyOnTheRadio sig.gif                                                  Friday, 04:46, Apr 2 2010 UTC

UnSignpost 4/8/10 - Oh hi Signpost.[edit]

Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 20:01, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 15/4/10 - Yet another on time delivery.[edit]

--ChiefjusticeDS 20:34, April 15, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 1 May[edit]

Brought to you by fucking magic. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 10:39, 1 May 2010

The UnSignpost Is Not Dead![edit]

A new UnSignpost issue, another template spammed onto your talkpage, enjoy! Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 14:35, 24 June 2010