Chief did a write up on me! Surprising surprise:
The Newspaper With Love In Every Paragraph!
Nov 18th, 2010 • Issue 95 • The Newspaper that won't leave you the same way she/he did!
- By Chief
Hailed by some as the final solution to the Uncyclopedia problem and others as a wretched hive of scum and villainy, the Uncyclopedia IRC channel has chugged along for almost the same amount of time Uncyclopedia itself has. We here at the UnSignpost have literally hundreds of stories to sort through every week and we have picked IRC for a reason, and not just because it is easy to spell. We chose it because the Uncyclopedia IRC is a community and often contains users who are never on the site (because they are lazy and idle), equally many users who frequent the site do not enter IRC (because they are idle and lazy), and those who do often prefer to do so in disguise. This is a disgrace, don't ask why, it just is.
Our intrepid reporters have spent literally minutes on IRC this week in order to bring news of it to you, the uneducated and unwashed masses and to try and encourage you to make use of it. Whatever you want to use it for: reporting vandals, penis jokes, collaboration, penis jokes and incoherent babbling; IRC is there for you. It is also a way to get to know the dull uninteresting personalities behind the exciting usernames, but don't let that put you off. When our intrepid reporter delved into the IRC community and asked the first person breathing in and out for a quote about IRC they told us "..." which should certainly give you food for thought.
If you have some time on your hands then why not learn how to windsurf? But if you are too idle and lazy then why not head on over to IRC and see the magic happening for yourself? I would and if I would it must be a good idea.
- By Chief
The stage is seated, the judges are set and the competitors are questionable in number, yes The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball is almost upon us. The competition opens this Friday and entries will be accepted until December the 3rd which is... a little while after that. Our hard-hitting journalists will be present at the competition and will be speaking to entrants and judges alike over the next few weeks. Just think; if you take part your name could be in italic font in the UnSignpost! Think about how envious your friends and family will be!
Remember, it begins on the 19th of November and we want to see blood!
We need you!
- Shameless pleading by: ChiefjusticeDS
The UnSignpost is like an office printer, in that it constantly breaks down, sometimes doesn't work for months at a time and occasionally spews out some slightly smudged pages. If you think you have something to bring to the UnSignpost be it your journalistic talent, ideas for stories or even just a warm and reassuring slap in the face, feel free to drop us a line in the press room.
Also Meganew wanted us to mention the Grue Army in the UnSignpost, so we have.
|From our logs:
- 05:54, November 14, 2010 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked POPEYE FUCK U UP (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks (1) You suck. 2) Stop sucking.)
- 06:10, November 17, 2010 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Frozen Korpse (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (Yes, Mordillo is the worst. That's no reason to be rude.)
- 17:01, November 12, 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 126.96.36.199 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 Days (I'll have some gay porn if you're going to the shop)
- 3:32, November 14, 2010 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked 188.8.131.52 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 year (I'M HAVING A FRIENDSHIP ANEURYSM)
|Biopic of the Week|
Know who it is yet? Know what time they were last here? No? Then you should probably be able to guess that this week we are looking at Aleister in Chains. Al has been hanging around Uncyclopedia for just under a year now, and in that time has picked up 25 feature credits and has earned the eternal hatred of many for his enduring good humour and incredibly annoying signature timestamps. If Aleister hasn't been responsible for a single one of your chuckles over the last year then you need to start reading some of his articles, that or cancel your afternoon appointments as you have died and failed to notice.
I wouldn't recommend you post on his talk page or look at his user page as they are both just plain weird, offer respect, but don't doff your helm, you never know what might end up in it.
|Overlooked Page of the Week|
Things to do.
Easing the pain in your pants since 2007.
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Another newsletter for my vain vanity closet, aye and bucko, me bucko:
One of the nicest things said about me here, from a forum essay by TheKillerFroggy:
- Non-original videos being funny in context have also become prominent and accepted thanks to Aleister in Chains, who almost never works inside the box and probably doesn't even know what a box is.
My mudda's what???:
Hate-filled rant by Lyrithya:
There is a guy. He is a seemingly ordinary guy, raising no interest and no suspicion when folks see him pass pass them by, but that is only appearance, only how he seems. He knows things, the truths of which are darker and sharper than the coldest shadows, the sorts of things that will curdle the blood and end all hope, and when he puts them to words, they... become. But he's just this guy, you know? He's Aleister in Chains. In his words, however, lies strangeness.
What is wrong with these people???
The Full Hilary
UnDictionary: The Full Hilary, named after American actress and singer Hilary Duff, is achieved by having the same article featured on both the main page and on the Current Events (UnNews) page as well as having the article listed first on the right-hand list of UnNews article on the main page and the UnNews page - although, in addition to this, perfectionists list another requirement of TFH to be that the two pictures on either side of the main page must be mirror images of each other.
The Full Hilary was accomplished on April 7, 2012, when the article UnNews:U.S. Supreme Court allows everyone to go naked was featured. The page had been at the top of all the UnNews listings since March 30.
BBC News coined the term The Full Hilary when they reported on this extraordinary event. "I still have that hat," said Hilary Duff, who was excited to be part of the event. "It was white, but I've since tye-dyed it so it looks kind of psychedelic, with swirls and ribbons of light and stuff. People came up to me on the street today and wanted my autograph, something which hasn't happened in years."