User talk:David Gerard

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Message from begginer[edit]

Master, can you help me to know what should we do to make stupid article??? I still can't do that, i'm sorry for my stupidness!!!

Hitler Manning[edit]

Hi, I put your Hitler Manning on the Bernard Manning Page. Hope that's OK. Rub El HizbRub El Hizb Avatar Explodes Long.gif 17:52, 27 June 2007 (UTC)

Email me...[edit]

[email protected]

Well hey . . .[edit]

Thank ye kindly for the nomination for Hays Code, and I'm glad to see it's doing well. If you need a back scratched, let me know.--Procopius 14:35, 9 October 2006 (UTC)

Thanks for the feedback on the security guard news story. Cheers,--Jives 01:21, 20 December 2006 (UTC)

Reiser is brilliant[edit]

And since you (alone) wanted it saved, here's Dysfunctional Families for you to work your magic on. I agree it has promise - I just don't see anyone actually fixing it in the near future. So it's been moved to you, for incubation/termination, as the self-assigned caretaker of this poor article. Good luck. 17:46, 15 October 2006 (UTC)

Is this called "be careful what you wish for"? - David Gerard 16:48, 22 October 2006 (UTC)

Good job on the Hans Reiser story. I am sorry that Kuro5hin does not like it, like we do here. I think you are very funny and you got a good talent. Don't let the Kurotrolls get to you like they got to me. They anonymized me over my humor in 2004. Like IWETHEY and other Internet forums and web sites, they just are way too serious to get humor like yours and mine. --Lt. Orion Blastar (talk) 04:23, 16 October 2006 (UTC)


Don't know why, but I thought of you. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)

Thanks Sport![edit]

Thanks for the spelling fixes and what not to Henchmen! My lazyness is only outdone by my lack of creativity. --Anyone 21:50, 6 November 2006 (UTC)

Thanks for all the help[edit]

Thanks for all the help cleaning up Total Fucking Asshole Server. It's really a much better article now than it was when it got nommed, cleaner, more focused. I'd really like to see it featured. Thanks. --Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 02:31, 14 November 2006 (UTC)

It's really the ultimate Microsoft product. A brilliant idea - David Gerard 22:23, 15 November 2006 (UTC)

NCSSM article huffed!![edit]

Could you please un-huff the article on NCSSM?

I burnt it because it's (a) vanity that (b) names real victims and (c) isn't actually funny. But you gotta email I can send the text to, if you have no username? - David Gerard 08:34, 27 November 2006 (UTC)

Hey David[edit]

Would you be interested in judging for the next PLS? If so, I'd be interested in having you judge. Let me know on my userpage either yes or no (as I'm prone to forget important things I've done, like asking people to judge for me).--<<>> 18:45, 3 December 2006 (UTC)


Ice-Cream.gif Braydie has awarded you some ice cream!
For voting for HowTo:Make a Band

--—Braydie 16:53, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

Mark Kermode VFH[edit]

Hi again, thanks for all the help on the Mark Kermode article btw. Anyway I was just wondering how come it has a VFH template when it hasn't actually been nominated...anywayz thanx and ta ra :-) --TheReal 22:24, 10 December 2006 (UTC)

I nominated it, but it appears to have failed in the nominations. Bah! - David Gerard 23:04, 10 December 2006 (UTC)

Hope you don't mind[edit]

UnNews:Kitten Huffing bishop facing calls to quit I needed an {in}famouse wikipedian and uncyclopedian and you where the first I thought of, I did however effectively enthroned (I understand that is the correct term) as the Archbishop of Wildebury so it's not all bad!--The Right Honourable Maj Sir Elvis UmP KUN FIC MDA VFH Bur. CM and bars UGM [email protected] (Petition) 00:44, 14 December 2006 (UTC)

Running with it now! - David Gerard 02:13, 14 December 2006 (UTC)


Are mere mortals allowed to create new forums? - Nonymous 02:33, 14 December 2006 (UTC)

New top-level ones? Dunno. Probably technically, but it would probably not be a great idea unless there's a clear need. Float the idea on the DUMP and those who know their forum-fu (i.e. not me) will be able to advise better - David Gerard 02:35, 14 December 2006 (UTC)

You need an award![edit]


Santa cross money.png Premier Tom Mayfair does not share in your pagan ways.
Nor does he celebrate capitalist retail. He hopes that you
convert to Communism before it's too late. Do the right thing.
Пролетарии всех стран, соединяйтесь!
Hammer and sickle xmas.png|

Premier Tom Mayfair 22:12, 14 December 2006 (UTC)

Tvcc.jpg Bradaphraser was throwing away last year's Christmas cards, and
realised they had purposefully forgotten about you.
This user is completely thoughtless, doesn't care about Multi-culturalism,
and therefore DEMANDS you have yourself a Merry little Christmas... NOW!

Failure to comply with result in disciplinary action up to and including excommunication from the Capitalist Church

May you focus on your successes and forget your failures here at the end of the year. Never forget how we all improve one another's lives. Season's Greetings.--<<>> 17:35, 17 December 2006 (UTC)

Xmasmoosewreath.png Nothing says [[Insert religious or pagan holiday of your choice]] like getting drunk with a moose. So this year, why not savour a treasured Canadian tradition with a bottle of hooch, horns, hooves, and hypothermia? The drinks are on me. ~ Todd Crown Royal.jpg

--Sir Todd GUN WotM MI UotM NotM MDA VFH AotM Bur. AlBur. CM NS PC (talk) 15:34, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

Karatechimp.jpg zim_ulator wishes you a Merry Kaizum Me!
the first holiday officially sanctioned by the church of zimizm (cOz)!

rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 19:55, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

PLS !!![edit]

Your judge packet, sir.  :)--<<>> 22:01, 17 December 2006 (UTC)


I made a title hack that is certainly a lot more MediaWiki-friendly than the current CSS-based monstrosity. It grabs the new title from a span with and id of titleOverride. Have a look. - Nonymous 15:30, 20 December 2006 (UTC)

Merry Christmas[edit]

Jumpercsc.jpg Santa Claus has given you a Jumper for Christmas..
This was hand-knitted by Mrs. Claus herself.
If you wish to complain about your Christmas present, do it here.
Merry Christmas!

From Santa Claus.

If you are another child that thinks they need a present, leave a message here (Santa never forgets, but he is getting on a bit.) Ho Ho Ho from Santa Claus 15:10, 23 December 2006 (UTC)

Quidquid Latine dictum sit altum viditur[edit]

Ad perpetuam memoriam de Sol Invictus

Composure1, writer of UnNews and humble servant of Uncyclopedia, sends personal greetings to you [insert username here], on this festival for our glorious god Sol Invictus. While many heathen have long abandoned our undefeated sun god, especially since Emperor Theodosius I banned the holiday in the year 390, I know that you are a true believer like me. So I hope you are celebrating with all the necessary debauchery and sacrifices, and I wish you the very best. Orta recens quam pura nites Sol Invictus! --Composure1 19:06, 24 December 2006 (UTC)


Hya, I saw that you're active so if you don't mind... I just moved user:mordillo/GPS(ego boost) to My Journeys with the GPS. Unfortunatly somewhere along the way I must have pressed enter and created another page by mistake, and a double redirect etc....could you help me correct it, cancel the wrong spelled one and move the content into My Journeys with the GPS? Thanks! Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il.png GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI2 AnotM VFH +S

I'm having a really bad day, I can't even spell that address right..... Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il.png GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI2 AnotM VFH +S

I think I've done it all right. (Admins can do proper history-preserving moves back, they have to delete the redirect first.) Nice article ;-) - David Gerard 15:57, 26 December 2006 (UTC)

Thanks again! Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il.png GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI2 AnotM VFH +S 16:28, 26 December 2006 (UTC)

Jew.gif This user is hereby nominated an HONORARY JEW, and is entitled for all honors and persecutions as such.

HowTo:Convince People You're a Heterosexual Male[edit]

Thanks for your vote!

has awarded you the
Neat Order of the Closet
for voting
HowTo:Convince People You're a Heterosexual Male
Wear It With Pride!

You big homo.

Turn left now![edit]

Special thanks for all your work on it!

Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il.png GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI2 AnotM VFH +S 07:41, 8 January 2007 (UTC)

UnNews:Stephen Hawking invents robotic exoskeleton for upcoming space walk[edit]

Why did you NRV this article? I had no problem with the use of the pic, and the writing was better than some we've let through the sluice gate. I wanted to ask before I unNRV and return the pic, unless you have any objectifications... in which case, let me know please... by the way, I loved UnNews:Sex "cuts public speaking stress"... brilliant! Cheers. rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 00:14, 9 January 2007 (UTC)

Ah, good, a cogent and intelligible reply. I'm glad you're not an arsehole like me. I agree it's ungraceful to lift anothers, albeit lousy, snot rag like The Onion, potatochop. I leave it in your capable hands, to delete or improve? Thanks for this, it's a tremendous help to me that you did your research. Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 00:32, 9 January 2007 (UTC)

Featuring of Wicker Man[edit]

Why is Wicker Man featured before VIctorian Era when the latter had more votes? I am just curious about the process. --Composure1 01:24, 11 January 2007 (UTC)

As a completely non-interested party, this is why.... :) -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
Because it should have been the feature for the tenth, but no-one changed it on the tenth. I dived in and did it just before 1am UTC. Possibly I should have done both, actually - David Gerard 01:53, 11 January 2007 (UTC)


That Trabbi article you put up is genius. Onkel Honniker would be proud of your efforts in the class struggle if he were still around. --Billsheppard 17:01, 15 January 2007 (UTC)


I just ran across this page of yours that has a misapplied NRV on it. I removed it, but the page has been stagnant a long time and now seems like a relic of an earlier age, so I {{PROD}}ed it. The joke has potential, though, so I'd love to see it expanded.---Quill.gifRev. Isra (talk) 12:35, 16 January 2007 (UTC)

Stagnant? Eh? Nor do I see why it has to be longer. It's not a stub, it's a short article. I suppose it could be put into the timeline if there were enough people who couldn't sleep at night with it where it is - David Gerard 14:59, 16 January 2007 (UTC)
Well, whatever. I knew it shouldn't have had NRV on it and that's all. Do with it what you will, though if you decide you'd like it to stay the same, take off the PROD. ---Quill.gifRev. Isra (talk) 15:08, 16 January 2007 (UTC)
I'll see if it can be timelined reasonably (or anyone reading this can feel free to) - David Gerard 16:04, 16 January 2007 (UTC)


Mewhenreadingstupidstuff.gif Braydie thanks you for supporting him to become admin.
I would have done this sooner, but admins are supposed to be lazy.
There is no personalised message either.

Braydie at 00:00, 25 January 2007 (UTC)

You won a LAFTA![edit]

You have been recognised by the LAFTA awards committee for your services to Uncyclopedia. Here is your trophy:

Congratulations! --The Rt. Hon. BarryC Icons-flag-gb.png MUN (Symposium!) Sigh. Double Sigh. 00:17, 25 January 2007 (UTC) Very cool! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 21:21, 25 January 2007 (UTC)

UnNews:Gimp group objects to K-Fed ad[edit]

Thanks for your kind words on my audio bumblings. As always, you are a generous mongrel with a complex and monkey-free sense of humour. Have I mentioned, it's always a pleasure to read your stuff? Well, it is. Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 21:21, 25 January 2007 (UTC)

It's time![edit]

Well, the time has finally come for judging the best at PLS. Since it'd be extremely hard (if not impossible) to fairly judge all 13 entries in your category in one sitting, it's recommended you start early and take it in stages. You were chosen as a judge because I trust your judgment when it comes to humor at Uncyclopedia, so you may use any method of choosing the winners that you deem fit. I do have space for you on the judging page to rank your top five favorite articles, in order, and give honorable mention to any other articles in your category that you deem "worthy" of being an Uncyclopedia article (which will then be unlocked after PLS is over). I'd prefer to have the entries almost fully judged by the Wednesday, the 7th of February, though the deadline isn't until the 10th. As such, be ready for me to be panicking if there's nothing done on your entry on the judging page by the 7th. Thank you again for judging, and enjoy the read (as many of the entries are quite funny this go around, in my opinion). Please contact me at my talkpage if you have any questions.--<<>> 00:54, 28 January 2007 (UTC)

New version of Potatohead_aqua.png[edit]

Hi. I cleaned up the rough edges of the potato man icon, but I was reluctant to save over a high-visibility image. My new version is here: Image:Potatohead_aqua2.png -- - VFH CM WA RV {talk} 05:49, 28 January 2007 (UTC)


Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il.png GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI2 AnotM VFH +S 10:12, 29 January 2007 (UTC)

Could you add content to a protected article?[edit]

I have come to ask if you could place an audio recording of mine into the fully protected page Contents. (You'll find the audio recording to the left.) Thanks in advance. --01:33, 30 January 2007 (UTC)

I see someone did! - David Gerard 12:14, 30 January 2007 (UTC)

Thanks for voting[edit]

-- - VFH CM WA RV {talk} 08:15, 2 February 2007 (UTC)

[email protected][edit]

Sucrose b small.gif This user joined the [email protected] Team, because he/she gives a damn & so should you.

0 This user has contributed 0 pints points to the Uncyclopedia [email protected] Team.

And have a userbox or two. Premier Tom Mayfair 18:16, 5 February 2007 (UTC)


this obviously has nothing to do with your uncast votes on your PLS category, but i would like to say, for no reason, that i love both you and any god you may or may not pray to, and i would buy you a car if i won the lottery. - jack mort | cunt | talkKodamaIcon.jpg - 00:34, 6 February 2007 (UTC)


Hey, I just wanted to thank you personally for giving my article a second review, not to mention for your compliments. I really appreciate it. However, I was wondering if I could ask one more little favour of you: See, having been a member for all of about two weeks now, I'm not exactly sure about the policy on self-nominations for VFH, but I'm not sure how my relatively new and unheard of article -- linked to others only by {{Template:Apple}} -- would get enough attention for a nomination any other way. I think it's ready, based on it having been Pee Reviewed twice and getting fairly high praise each time. Judging by the fact that you gave a pretty high-scoring review for me, I was wondering if you'd be able to do it for me -- or, failing that, just give me some pointers on how else I could raise MacBook awareness outside of people I know in real life or how I could properly self-nominate my article. I don't mean to sound self-centred, but I don't know what else I could do. I'd hate for something I spent so much time and effort on to sit around with no one to read it. I know that you said it might just be a little too geeky and high-concept for VFH, but I think it's got a shot. Who knows -- it must just create a bit of a paradigm shift for VFH. What do you say?

Please consider my proposal and respond as soon as you can. Thank you very much!

-- Icons-flag-ca.png #1_ALF_FAN 20:39, 6 February 2007 (UTC)

P.S. Plus, I think my reference to Fisher Price at the end of the article makes up for not having bodily function jokes throughout the rest of the article. Wouldn't you agree?

Hey, I'd agree. I'm just wondering what VFH would make of it ... not that I'm BITTER at having my WONDERFUL and SUBTLE WORKS of geeky humour KNOCKED BACK by the UNCULTURED POLTROONS of VFH ... who I love and respect DEARLY - David Gerard 21:33, 6 February 2007 (UTC)
Yikes. Well, if I said something wrong, I apologize wholeheartedly. I didn't mean to upset you in any way. Though, out of curiosity, what article(s) is/are you specifically talking about? I might like to see it, especially considering we seem to share an interest in geeky, subtle humour.
And, by the way, I know how it feels to have something you worked hard on shot down like that. I once wrote a long, detailed review of the video game Shadow the Hedgehog (Nov. 2005, GameCube) on the Nintendo NSider Forums, and I ended up having most of the replies being from one person who kept flaming me for actually liking the game. But, hey, I kept calm, and ultimately got personal revenge by writing a minor villain into one of my then-ongoing fanfics based on him in a satirical -- not to mention subtle -- light. And that got praised. I guess the key is to just stay calm and find a way to rectify the situation, or at least to make yourself feel better. So, if there's anything I can do for you, just tell me. I'll try my best to help you out in any way I can. Hey, you already helped me by giving my article a second review. Given the opportunity, I'll try to return the favour.
-- Icons-flag-ca.png #1_ALF_FAN 00:35, 7 February 2007 (UTC)

So, um...[edit]

Are you still cool to judge PLS? Remember, it needs to be done by midnight Saturday night, England time. If you don't think you're gonna make it, lemme know ASAP, so I'll have time to find a replacement. Thanks, DG.--<<>> 03:07, 8 February 2007 (UTC)

Nah, should be right - David Gerard 08:17, 9 February 2007 (UTC)

Cancer porn[edit]

That article defined my life. Thank you.-- 02:07, 9 February 2007 (UTC)

nommed for VFP[edit]

I'v got to tell you, Image:Salome_icon.jpg is brilliant! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 21:48, 9 February 2007 (UTC)


90 px El Zoof has awarded you a special 3D holographic edition of the List of one letter words starting with A!
For voting on List of one letter words starting with A. If you hadn't guessed.
Soon: List of one letter words starting with A II: The Sequel - List of one letter words starting with I
GoldenShower.jpg Rejoice, David Gerard! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award
For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

El Zoof 00:21, 12 February 2007 (UTC)

Offensive Articles[edit]

I am beginning to discover that I have a knack for creating true to life offensive material; probably because I'm a knowledgeable racialist. Not trying to piss people off or anything, I'm just overly familiar with cultural tidbits and like to exhibit it in I maka you raugh funny ways. Whether it's sacrilege, anti-Semitism, stereotyping, morbid clinical insinuations etc. You appear to be the expert in this department at uncyc.

Q: How the hell do you get away with making offensive articles without getting VFD'd by an angry mob with stones?

Don't say "make the article funny" i've tried that already (spent a lot o time) and it was huffinated b4 I even started re-flamming it. With your reputation, can I donate an article to you or something to ensure its indemnity? --AmericanBastard 06:32, 12 February 2007 (UTC)

Writing something like Holocaust Tycoon (not one of mine) and not being lynched is like walking a tightrope. All humour is hurtful, but the funny has to outweigh the hurtful (c.f. the Uncyclopedia Constitution: "1. Be funny and not just stupid. 2. Don't be a dick.").
Keeping in mind "comfort the afflicted and afflict the comforted" can be useful. "Would the people who are the butt of the joke see the humour?" is another useful test. It helps to make rapier-like strikes on the absurd aspects of both sides.
Blah, blah, blah. I can pontificate forever on this. But writing good stuff mainly means getting into the flow of the writing and having learnt these things as automatic rules. It's always a tricky one. All I can suggest for the moment is keep trying until you aren't lynched. Practice on UnNews, those are easy. - David Gerard 10:53, 22 February 2007 (UTC)

Thank you![edit]

Tlntshow.jpg Congratulation! You are now happy owner of new proud fat kid with an Accordion from El Zoof! Tlntshow.jpg
Much felicitous appreciations for happy double nice good voting for HowTo:Stop Playing the Accordion

--El Zoof 00:11, 22 February 2007 (UTC)

Re: Onion pics[edit]

But stealing Venture Brothers pictures is OK? --Stuart P. Bentley 18:56, 14 March 2007 (UTC)

Depends. Ideally a picture theft appropriation should be satirical in itself IMO. The problem with the Onion is it's another fake news site, and we really shouldn't be stealing their jokes - David Gerard 20:53, 14 March 2007 (UTC)


120px-Olivin Zahnstein.jpg Thanks for voting for Uluru on VFH. Here's a rock. 120px-Olivin Zahnstein.jpg
And a second one. Don't you feel special?

--El Zoof 07:37, 9 April 2007 (UTC)

May I be a stupid sysop now???[edit]

May I be a stupid sysop now??? May I be a stupid sysop now??? May I be a stupid sysop now??? ZIM Hates You! 14:36, 10 April 2007 (UTC)

Thanks, mate[edit]

I used a "voice chat" joke with a gal tonight and she laughed. Thanks, internet pal! -- » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 06:49, 6 May 2007 (UTC)


Newcookie.gif Trar has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

I'm giving out cookies. Hope you appreciate it. --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) Icons-flag-us.pngMchammer.gif 00:23, 7 May 2007 (UTC)

This has your name all over it.....[edit]

Have a quick look at [1] and tell me why we don't have a news article about this already - UnNews:Barrymore Probed by Police. Obviously a quote from his solicitor making the statement that he is "bending over backwards to assist the Police" can't be the only gag that could be added to it. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)

Just wanted to say...[edit]

Well done on the smoking ban UnNews - the funniest UnNews I've read in bloomin' ages. Anyway, I'm gotta go out for a fag now...moan moan. RabbiTechno 16:32, 1 July 2007 (UTC)

Proceeding with malice?[edit]

So, Dave... sorry to bother you here on Uncyc and all, but what's the deal with this and this? I can assure you that none of the "Snowie" threads have been edited in any way whatsoever, and very few others either - other than to redact peoples' real names and IP addresses, which seems to have gone completely unnoticed. Is it because you haven't found those threads on Google? That's actually because we've been hiding that stuff from Google for over a year now, for privacy reasons. More to the point, if this sort of thing is going to be a typical, or even potential, reaction to my attempts to improve the situation (in light of recent BLP improvements), what's my incentive for doing it in the first place? Chapman's insane blather is bad enough, but I thought you were a bit less given over to, you know, irrational hyperbole and stuff. (No offense, of course.)  c • > • cunwapquc? 19:30, 12 July 2007 (UTC)

wikipedia article[edit]

Um in the wikipedia article there is a clip of an old vid game what game is it if you know? --Eshay 04:44, 28 July 2007 (UTC)

UnNews:Patients a "burden on NHS"[edit]

Resistance is futile[edit]

You will be ass-stimulated. Bow down to the Office. In short, hy. Messedrocker 06:26, 15 September 2007 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/November 20[edit]

Can you protect that page, half of the edits, are about me, Charlie Bowling, please remove those as well thanks F9T 21:34, 19 November 2007 (UTC)

I semi-protected it. Premier Tom Mayfair

Bloody Pagans[edit]

Pagans, the Whole Lot of Yous

Premier Tom Mayfair has been a naughty boy this year, but he still deserves a kiss from under the mistletoe. His external organ is fair game.

Premier Tom Mayfair

Luboš Motl[edit]

I am laughing all over the UnNews:Surfer dude stuns physicists with theory of everything. If you decide to create a page about him I can make provide overview about what he wrote in Czech language. He's really interesting personality, kind a reincarnation of the overconfident Monty Python's Black Knight. 21:43, 19 January 2008 (UTC) (en:user:Pavel Vozenilek, no account here)

Rough Pubs[edit]

Fishbeer.jpg Rabbi Techno
is sending you this undoubtedly
delicious beer to say thanks
for voting for Rough Pubs!
From Rabbi Techno

If you loved THAT[edit]

...thanks for the support, funnily enough its just gone through VFH and is on the feature list, so should make the front page in the next day or two. Was a lot of fun writing bitingly evil satire for a change...glad you liked it! :) -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)

Are you crying for your lawyer yet?[edit]

Heinous Dan Movie Poster.png

Hey, Punk!

You voted to get the UnScript featuring the most violent detective in the world to the front page to blow some heads clean off a few newbie shoulders. I'll keep this brief considering that I've been sitting on my ass for the last minute talking to you instead of carving holes into that punk Dexter.

So thanks for the vote.

~ Tophatsig.png

17/04/2008 @ 03:13

Join The CMC! Make Your Inner Cow Happy!

Moo, David Gerard!

What is it about cows that gets us all hot and bothered? Where do cows come from? What are cows?

These are the questions that drive the Cow Moo Cult and its brethren, who are very, VERY interested in cows and cow by-products.

The CMC is devoted not only to cows, but to helping Uncyclopedia through general acts of goodness and through motivating people with cow-treats and the like.

So, David Gerard, why not join the CMC? It's free (unless you count virginity as money) and it's fun (and it's full of clichés)! You'll get a pretty template for your userpage and a nice title for your signature! What could be better? Sign Up Now!
Double moos from your cowy friend,

You, sir[edit]

Are famous. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon.gif(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 03:03, Dec 11

Happy Hanukkah[edit]


How can I get known on this wiki? I'm fairly new, and I've read HTBFANJS and the other book thing, but I'm still new and am having trouble coming up with stuff as well.

True plato.jpg RugbyBoy talk
I'm not David Gerard, but a good first step would be to fix your sig. See how this line that I'm on is not where it's supposed to be? That's not me. That's you. After that, try making existing pages on subjects you know or like better. Take your time. Once you have confidence, try writing your own page. After that, the future is your oyster, which is pretty gross if you think about it. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 05:20, October 21, 2010 (UTC)

Welcome back[edit]

That thing I said in the header. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 05:20, October 21, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah what they said & nice to meet you.  Happytimes are here!* (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  21 Oct 2010 ~ 05:40 (UTC)
Just stumbling through the wikisphere. Current writing still fake news on - David Gerard 19:45, October 22, 2010 (UTC)
Eh up! -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)


Lord Christopher Monckton finally discovers Greenland. Although he totally denies ever being featured in Uncyclopedia, but he appreciates the sentiment and does thank you for voting.

--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png 19:14, Oct 23

Oh, right.[edit]

Apparently I've been forgetting to tell people afterwards - I reviewed Lotus Notes. Yeah, hope that helps for whenever you get back to it. Cheers, mon. ~ Isarra *shifty eyes* 03:55, 28 December 2010

Truth Or Not?[edit]

There appears to be a 'fulsome biography' on you over at Or is that a different David Gerard? --RomArtus Imperator(talk) 07:31, June 17, 2011 (UTC)

What the hellcrap?[edit]

Welcome back. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 22:52, July 6, 2011 (UTC)

I just stopped by to see if Blind Lemon Kraftwerk had decayed to shite before I linked someone to it. And I see it's featured after five years! I was very proud of that one - David Gerard 23:51, July 6, 2011 (UTC)
Now you can never leave, Mister Gerard! Moo ha-ha! Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 04:34, July 7, 2011 (UTC)


You've never heard of me, but I noticed you started out in earrly 2005; so hi and welcome back. --User:Lollipop/sig - 00:35, 7 July 2011