User talk:Gert5/arch1

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Hello, Gert5/arch1, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig.png) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, or ask at the Dump. Again, welcome!  -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)

what is this?

UnNews:Fesfdes23 Did you intend to create a blank article? rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 20:20, 26 August 2006 (UTC)


Just letting you know that the ICU on your article Gertorian Calendar has expired. But fear not, I have moved it to your userspace for you to work on further. Thanks and have a nice day! -- Hindleyite Converse?pedia 18:36, 19 December 2006 (UTC)


I noticed how good you were with templates, and I was wondering if you could create a template for Grueslayer, using images to the right of text to give it the feel of graphics? --Emmzee 13:46, 31 January 2007 (UTC)

Wha?! I don't understand right and feel and Help? because I'm LOL Est0000nian and 1'11 pwn0r y00!!! N00b!!! --User:Gert5/sig 14:25, 31 January 2007 (UTC)
I made this thing --User:Gert5/sig 15:07, 31 January 2007 (UTC)

Extend WIP time on Permanent Drastic Shocking Skin Disorder

I've extended the WIP time on Permanent Drastic Shocking Skin Disorder so that you can get it finished. It's only one little push away. Thanks. —Braydie 21:31, 21 February 2007 (UTC)

Welcome to UnNews

You'll notice I've ICU-tagged your article, UnNews:Microsoft releases it's own image file format. This is because it's unintelligable to me, and therefore, to UnNews in general. I'll leave it for now, but unless you can fix it up soon, I'll probably move it to your user space later today.

Additionally, you haven't used the UnNews article template, but rather made up your own arrangement of templates and such. This is bad because it screws up our tables which track UnNews articles and such. Next time, use the Start a new article section on the UnNews Main Page; the code is commented to tell you how to use the various templates. leave the date templates alone, as these are pretty important, the rest modify as common sense dictates. If you have any questions, let me know. Cheers rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 13:56, 15 April 2007 (UTC)

The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator, contemplating your fate.

Welcome to UnNews, Gert5, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.

What happened to my article?

If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

UnNews Audio

If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.

UnNews UnFunnies

At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC) rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 13:56, 15 April 2007 (UTC)


  • Currently, I assume, on your prefrances page you have this as your sig: --[[User:Gert5|G5]]<small>{{User:Gert5/sig}}. It should look more like this: --[[User:Gert5|G5]]<small>{{User:Gert5/sig}}</small>. I just had to add the </small> to VFP, and I don't want to have to do it again. Thanks, -- Major Sir Zombiebaron GUNWotMUotMPotMAotMEGAEDMUPotMMAFEZotMIotMVotMUGotM (shout) 19:38, 16 April 2007 (UTC)

Thanks for the Quote

Cheers for adding the quote on Self Promotion. Could you take a lok at the rest of my pages --Dantoller 18:46, 20 April 2007 (UTC) and make them more funny? Please.


Worry too much about the votes on VFP, although I've got quite a few featured images now it took me a long, long time to get my first one. The important thing to do is to keep trying to improve on what you do and don't give up. Also, have a look in places like Uncyclopedia:Reefer Desk to see what other people are doing, and to see if anyone can offer feedback on improving ideas. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)

User:Gert5/Everybody blames Gert5



I award you an award award!

Jocke Pirat awards you the award award for giving them an award!

--~ Tophatsig.png

22:25, 22 April 2007 (UTC)

Thank you for adopting me

Thanks for adopting this humble n00b. I would just like to know what to do to become a better Uncyclopedian. Einstein 145

Thanks for the cookie.

I have no clue who you are, nor why you gave it to me, but I appreciate it. I savored every bit of the chocolate and the sweet cookie dough cooked into semi-rigid cookie goodness...

Sadly, I don't have anything for you, except a handful of crumbs. Sorry.

Eatencookie.gif Dawg has eaten your cookie!
You shouldn't have left it there. » Brig Sir Dawg | t | v | c » 2007.04.24.02:35

RE: Second and Third Lead Templates

I noticed you omitted some information in the second and third lead templated, thus there was no pic showing up on the Main page of UnNews. If you don't understand how to use these templates properly, please ask for assistance. To end on a high note, however, you are very helpful and I thank you for doing what you have already. Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 19:13, 29 April 2007 (UTC)

ICU Vanity

Hi, can you please not ICU the vanity cruft, instead, use either {{QVFD}} or {{citemark}} since they do the same thing... they're something I just created, alternatively you can add it to the QVFD page, but please don't ICU stuff that's clearly just deserving of a deletion -- Prof Olipro Icons-flag-gb.png KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 16:18, 10 May 2007 (UTC)

thoes dont exist n00b!!1 --Me Eurgh!

Hono(u)r between Ninjas

Can I have a ninja star pwease? Weri long wang 15:50, 12 May 2007 (UTC)

Bugs in the hall

You may want to start a forum topic on the logic and existence of hallbugs. Otherwise, the only people who will know about whateveritis will be those you talked to on talkpages, their compadres, entourage and hangers on. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 17:10, 14 May 2007 (UTC)

NRV hat

Love it! All chavs should wear them! RabbiTechno 15:49, 19 May 2007 (UTC)

I made that for the Uncyclopedia:Store page --Sir General Minister G5 FIYC UPotM [Y] #21 [email protected] KUN 15:50, 19 May 2007 (UTC)

Welcoming suggestion

When you welcome a user, you should use {{SUBST:User:Gert5/welc}} instead of just {{User:Gert5/welc}}. That way nobody will accidentally vandalise your welcome template when editing your user talk page. It has happened to me many times before. Icons-flag-au.png Sir Cs1987 UOTM. t. c 14:08, 22 May 2007 (UTC)


For voting on my Lego Assassination Image on VFP!

Sliffy thanks you!
I so totally stole this box

Now sing along: “Ebony, Ivory, living in perfect harmony!”

so sayeth Sliferjam ~ Talk * Sock * Jam * Gallery * Fearless Fosdick? Jambow.gif 19:15, 25 May 2007 (UTC)


Welcome to Famine's Sig Jihad! You've won a complimentary look at this, along with limited edition harassing about how sup tags break the 12px rule! Congratulations! 05/30 21:49

Broken Redirect

Cookie.jpg Kip the Dip has baked you a homemade cookie!
Now go half-ass review someone else's page

Thank you so much for taking the time to review my "article". To make things clear, I never wanted it to become featured. (How would that even be possible?) I just wanted to know if it was good enough to stay in Uncyclopedia. Apparently it sucks in your opinion.

By the way, it did have one image: Redirectltr.png

-- Sir Kip > Talk Works Contribs Sophia Commander of the Order USA!

C is for...

Newcookie.gif User:The Thinker has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

..for aiding me in my quest to proliferate the name of THINKER. ;) --THINKER 20:51, 13 June 2007 (UTC)


  • Only one vote, per user, per month.

Remove one. Premier Tom Mayfair11:41, 15 June 2007 Nevermind, I think you meant it as a comment. Premier Tom Mayfair11:53, 15 June 2007

Thanks a bajoodle!

Here, take one. Believe me, you don't want it.

Well, you asked for it. Remember, you have been MSeaten. Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!

Ask and ye shall receive

Newcookie.gif User:TheLedBalloon has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon.gif(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 22:16, 17 June 2007 (UTC)

You sank my frigate!

Eh... --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 03:44, 18 June 2007 (UTC)

BB thanks thee!

Thanks again! -- PLS VFH (MiniluvMinitrueUnsoc) 11:53, 20 June 2007 (UTC)


Protip: If you want something deleted quickly, you should list it at QVFD rather than replacing the page with an ICU. It's quicker and more noticable. —Hinoa talk.kun 17:15, 20 June 2007 (UTC)

You deserve this

For your repeated attempts at getting your shitty articles and images featured, I'm giving you this:

Myfisto.gif This user has attained a plane of asshattery previously thought unreachable and needs to be cockpunched immediately.

--General Insineratehymn 00:18, 21 June 2007 (UTC)