User talk:Nikau

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Commander of the Order
I could only dream of being educated enough to understand how uneducated my position is.


I hope you'll be adding some more to Tradesman - you've got some great ideas there, can't wait to read the finished article. Welcome to Uncyclopedia, by the way! :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 13:17, 27 March 2009 (UTC) thanks

It's attracting For votes at a fair old rate - six already. I think you have a definite feature there! Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 14:30, 23 April 2009 (UTC)
Well, well, well...I think that is possibly the quickest I've ever seen an article go from nomination to confirmed feature. A very big well done! :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 16:07, 24 April 2009 (UTC)
Thanks for all the help, I'm glad people liked it. I don't really need all these awards, all I really need now is another good idea :) --Nikau 13:44, 25 April 2009 (UTC)


I wonder if I might as you to make use of the "Preview" button. The one next to "Save Page". It works (honest) and helps us if you do. There is no need to save the page every time you want to see what it will look like. Thanks... MrN Icons-flag-gb.png 13:45, Mar 27 ok

Welcome Nikau.


Hello Nikau, and welcome to Uncyclopedia!

So what's this message all about? Well, I know it looks like this was automatically generated, and well, OK... you caught me. I'm lazy, so I paste it in. But... if you have been sent this it does mean that I have noticed your contributions, and think that you're going to do some good stuff here. So who am I? Oh, just someone putting his nose in where it is probably not wanted...

Anyway, if you have not already, I SERIOUSLY recommend that you read the link below:

Probably the second most important link for a newcomer is:

  • How to be funny and not just stupid - Basically it's a guide to writing humours articles which has been edited and improved over time by the users of this site. It's not an insult, and it's well worth a look.

If you want to find out how we decide which articles to feature on the front page, check out the VFH page. Basically, we vote for them. Anyone can vote. Especially you! You might find VFH a useful page to look over as it gives an idea of the kind of standard which you need to reach if you want to get an article featured.

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Again, welcome!  --


hey nikau, i didn't get around to vote on tradesmen, but good job! in that vein, there is still a pee review for the article in the you want to put it back in the queue to get some more feedback, or can we deep-six it? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 20:10, 27 April 2009 (UTC)

No point giving people extra work when I am happy with it as is. --Nikau 11:56, 30 April 2009 (UTC)
noted. thanks. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 13:52, 30 April 2009 (UTC)

Ancient World[edit]

Thanks for your comments on my page. I am trying to finish a the new version of Augustus to replace the original crap Middle Earth knock off that was there. I also don't mind additions to any of the stories I have done - as long as they are not drastic rewritings !

Regards 'rape and pillage' - that is a biggie . I think that could be a hard one to mine humour from unless you are careful. It is also a subject that stretches throughout history up to today.

--Romartus 14:36, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
Rape and Pillage is mainly a parody of Vikings, because there was already a Viking article. You know a lot more than me about classical history, so I'd probably poke around on my own in a new article. --Nikau 14:44, 2 May 2009 (UTC)

No probs regards rape, pillage and the vikings. It isn't my main historical interest but I will look out for your article and feel free as regards asking me for an opinion on it. --Romartus 14:52, 2 May 2009 (UTC)

Free Stuff[edit]

Google-tshirt thumbnail.jpg While I was over at the Googleplex researching History of Google
I managed to grab a load of these promotional t-shirts.
Here's one for you because you voted for the article on VFH!
Model not included.
Thankyou from Rabbi Techno

You're a Good Writer[edit]

Therefore, you should join my usergroup. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 22:12, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

Thanks thank tank!!![edit]

Sticklady.jpg I have to thank you all again

Because you voted for my page about my Nursery to get featured on the front page of the internet and that’s really awesome because Mummy got me a new toy! Although she did tell me never to pee in the sandpit again.

Also, good to meet ya! ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb.png ~Talk~ Gay sign.png 08:36 27 May 2009

VFH HowTo become king[edit]

You abstained because of the transgender thing, right? What do you suggest to improve it? Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 09:08 May 27 '09

Well I would suggest removing that whole section as it seems not particularly relevant to becoming a King. It appeared to be unnecessary padding before the funnier parts below. The reader wishes to become a King and do ridiculous kingly things rather than focus on technicalities like gender. You can make the article longer through more fun poking at kingly cliches, as you did with the dragon part. --Nikau 09:20, 27 May 2009 (UTC)
will do, sir. Many thanks :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 09:25 May 27 '09


Hey Nikau[edit]

Are you still around? Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 19:21, 1 August 2009 (UTC)

Afghanistan and whatnot[edit]

A very solid, original, funny piece. The line about X number of Afghan police eventually becoming "unorthodox" or "too old for this shit" was particularly good. Put it up for review if you haven't already, polish up a bit, and you should have a feature on your hands. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:04, January 2, 2010 (UTC)

Welcome to UnNews[edit]

The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator, contemplating your fate.

Welcome to UnNews, Nikau, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.

What happened to my article?

If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

UnNews Audio

If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.

UnNews UnFunnies

At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

Where can I see Back of Tall, Balding Man’s Head?[edit]

It sounds fascinating - any idea when it'll be released in the UK? Excellent article again, by the way - I can tell you watch a lot of independent films! Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 08:57, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

Ta, thanks :) I am glad you liked it, now all I need is a nice conclusion to tie it up. The idea came when I was watching a film with my friends and we literally started discussing the worst thing anyone had done at the cinema. During the film. We should get an award for that level of knobery. --Nikau 09:08, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
Makes me think of a French friend of mine who got drunk in the local arts cinema and ended up calling the manager a fascist, which led to a fight. She got banned for life. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 10:16, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

Advanced Study Program[edit]


Thanks for voting Symbol for vote.svg For. HowTo:Make a B-Movie Monster! --DRStrangesig5.png Sherman.png Fingertalk.png  11:56, January 11, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks Again[edit]


Maybe I can top this someday!--DRStrangesig5.png Sherman.png Fingertalk.png  15:47, January 12, 2010 (UTC)

Wow. Ta![edit]

A WotY nom? Wow, thanks - flattered you think I deserve even a nom, frankly! Much obliged to you, Nikau, you've cheered me right up! --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 12:38, Jan 14

HowTo:Be A King[edit]

Been rewritten. Check it out! FreddCan Shredd 13:50 • Tuesday, 19-01-2010

Thanks for the Germany image[edit]

Celtic Ninja Star
This person has done good deeds in the eyes of Sycamore

Keeping with tradition I always award my highest award for someone who makes an image for one of my articles. Thanks again:)--Sycamore (Talk) 10:32, January 21, 2010 (UTC)

Late thanks[edit]

Colinmeloy3.jpg An expression of gratitude
We appreciate your discerning judgment and shrewd disposition in voting for HowTo:Write Colin Meloy Lyrics, even though the author is a ne'er-do-well and never pealed a steeple bell.

User:Hiatus Hernia/sig2 18:05, Jan 24, 2010

Thank you!![edit]

In Response To Your West Timorese Fanboy Rant Mild Criticism[edit]

M'su welcomes you!

My article, West Timor, was supposed to be more of a parody of North Korea (i.e "Uniting West and East Timor=Uniting North And South Korea; The West Timor Ideology= The Juche Ideal") then an actual parody of West Timor. But I Should've done more research anyway, since all I really did was skim through the Wikipedia article on East Timor. How did you know the history of West Timor? Are you from Indonesia?. Anyways, welcome to Uncyclopedia! By the way,allow me to introduce myself: I am M'su Carencro, and I discovered Uncy a few weeks ago. Since then I've been making crappy articles to contribute to the increasingly bigger pile of crap called Uncyclopedia.

Nikau has been here ages, ain't he? --nldr 22:00, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
Longer than me, longer than anyone. He is...the one above all... M'su Carencro (Talk) 22:13, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
I'm originally from Malaysia but have lived in Australia and New Zealand virtually all my life. I have family in Indonesia though. --Nikau 01:59, April 7, 2010 (UTC)