User talk:Olipro

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Hello, Olipro, you hopeless shit, God only knows why you're still here, you're evidently an entrenchant buffoon, but should you wish to continue disgracing us with your existence, then at least take the time out of your miserable life to consult the following pages:

If you read anything at all, make it the above two links, you can read, right? If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

Most of us feel you are a cancer that should be cut out, so please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig.png) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date so we know to ignore your tumorous shite.

If you need help, kill yourself. if you need help killing yourself; ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and hang you from the ceiling.  --  



On Canadian Jesus

Hey, I saw that article about Canadian Jesus. It was funnier than 80% of the articles I've seen. It could have used some clean up, but when I went back to show it to my friends it had been huffed :( Why, oh dear God, oh why?

--MaddMax 13:55, 20 November 2007 (UTC)

Canadian Jesus

Please, Olipro, inform my why my article on Canadian Jesus was huffed. I thought it fit in well with the other minor Jesii, and it was definitely funnier than a lot of those articles. Perhaps it was spelling errors? I meant to come back and fix the typos. I regret that I didn't put a construction tag on it, but I thought it was mostly done from the time being. Would you be so kind as to repost it and let me fix its problems?

--Ggarfield 18:44, 20 November 2007 (UTC)


HIBLEAS! SQUISHY! so sayeth Sliferjam ~ Talk * Sock * Jam * Gallery * Fearless Fosdick? Jambow.gif 01:38, 23 November 2007 (UTC)

Branching out I see...

So this is how you make your monies! <3 ~ Dame Ceridwen ~ talk DUN VoNSE arc2.0 09:56, 25 November 2007


Still trying to figure out how I can ban you with expiry time of wanker....

~ 16:39, 3 December 2007 (UTC)

Christmas Shoes

It was almost Christmas time, there I stood in another line

Tryin' to buy that last gift or two, not really in the Christmas mood

Standing right in front of me was a little boy waiting anxiously

Pacing 'round like little boys do

And in his hands he held a pair of shoes

His clothes were worn and old, he was dirty from head to toe

And when it came his time to pay

I couldn't believe what I heard him say


Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please

It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size

Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time

You see she's been sick for quite a while

And I know these shoes would make her smile

And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight

He counted pennies for what seemed like years

Then the cashier said, "Son, there's not enough here"

He searched his pockets frantically

Then he turned and he looked at me

He said Mama made Christmas good at our house Though most years she just did without

Tell me Sir, what am I going to do,

Somehow I've got to buy her these Christmas shoes

So I laid the money down, I just had to help him out

I'll never forget the look on his face when he said

Mama's gonna look so great

Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please

It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size

Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time

You see she's been sick for quite a while

And I know these shoes would make her smile

And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight


I knew I'd caught a glimpse of heaven's love

As he thanked me and ran out

I knew that God had sent that little boy

To remind me just what Christmas is all about.

\o/ 17:26, 11 December 2007 (UTC)


Rough Pubs

Been curious lately as to how one of mine would do on pee review. If you have a spare five minutes, any chance you could take a look? Cheers. RabbiTechno 12:46, 12 December 2007 (UTC)

Cheers matey. Can't be arsed with whoring (whoring my arse is a different matter, as you know well), to much effort since I don't care in the slightest about features etc. So long as people like the article and it gets a few laffs, that's fine by me. 'Ave a look at this one too - Pikeys - Our Friends. RabbiTechno 17:41, 16 December 2007 (UTC)
PS - I didn't use the harass me button, ha ha! RabbiTechno

Merry Xmas!

Bonner would like to wish you

a Merry Christgame
And a happy New Game
P.S, You just lost the game (Bonner) (Talk)

I know you'd prefer me in a stocking

Merry Christmas

Despite being required by British law to carry an umbrella throughout December, and to respond to all festive cheer with "Bah Humbug", nonetheless I wish you a very Merry Christmas. Or Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or whatever other gnostic mystical mumbo-jumbo you colonials practice these days.
Just don't tell the Queen.


But hey, some presents are worth waiting to unwrap -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 21:46, 16 December 2007 (UTC)

Be gentle

Pagans, the Whole Lot of Yous

Premier Tom Mayfair has been a naughty boy this year, but he still deserves a kiss from under the mistletoe. His external organ is fair game.

Premier Tom Mayfair

Have a not-shitty Christmas!

WinterBreakCalendar.PNG Heya, The Led Balloon here, wishing you merry Christmas, or any other holiday you feel like celebrating. Just remember what it's all really about: NO WORK, NO SCHOOL, FREE STUFF!!!
Here's to hoping your school(or work) calendar for December doesn't look too much like this...

Merry Christmas, - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon.gif(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 01:06, Dec 17

Christmas and stuff

Evil santa.jpg Merry Christmas!
or whatever it is you
new-fangled Christians do at this
time of year.
From Rabbi Techno

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas. ~ Mitch

-- Mitch Icons-flag-au.png 13:15, 24 December 2007 (UTC)

Merry Xmas!

~ Merry Xmas Olipro! ~

--YeOldeLuke 08:00, 26 December 2007 (UTC)


My dear sir, I came to you page to alarm you to my upcoming two year membership to the uncyc family, and I come to find my name at the top of your page somehow tied to....suicide....what??

any way, as any girl would wish, I want...something for our anniversary....this was non sequitor, but you get the (j)gist.

Drop me a line dear sir! I do miss you!

Tayor Lz4.jpgMUN (Praise!) 19:06, 4 January 2008 (UTC)


just wondering why the article entitled super devil was huffed. me and a few of my peers were wanting to write an article about it but were discouraged when we saw that an article with the same title was huffed already. was the previous author just incredibly retarded or is the subject not appropriate for the site? The preceding unsigned comment was added by Ogre42 (talk • contribs)

Jim Crow

I thought an article with a construction tag had to be a week old before it was deleted. Isn't that the whole point of the construction tag?--Naughtius Maximus Leaf.jpg [email protected] Woof!Za slice.jpg MeowMUN 13:11, 19 April 2008 (UTC)

Unblocking Kurgan

I note you unblocked User:Kurgan. I understand your concern that he would make sock puppets (siblings). Despite this I fear you are creating a bad precedent. Kurgan apparently can get away with bad behavior while lesser Uncyclopedians have to sit out any block the sysops feel they deserve. Dangerous offenders are released after one day and less dangerous individuals must face justice? This will cause resentment. It will also encourage potential offenders to learn computer skills and become dangerous.Proxima Centauri 18:37, 28 April 2008 (UTC) I'm sorry if I misunderstood. Proxima Centauri 17:33, 2 May 2008 (UTC)


OMG hi! I just figured I'd stop by, and say hi. Haven't talked to anyone in a while. How's everything going? Molested any young boys lately? I haven't :( Anyway, talk soon (I hope!) The HRH MuCal. Tayor Lz4.jpgMUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 16:55, 15 May 2008 (UTC)

You googly.

Join The CMC! Make Your Inner Cow Happy!

Moo, Olipro!

What is it about cows that gets us all hot and bothered? Where do cows come from? What are cows?

These are the questions that drive the Cow Moo Cult and its brethren, who are very, VERY interested in cows and cow by-products.

The CMC is devoted not only to cows, but to helping Uncyclopedia through general acts of goodness and through motivating people with cow-treats and the like.

So, Olipro, why not join the CMC? It's free (unless you count virginity as money) and it's fun (and it's full of clichés)! You'll get a pretty template for your userpage and a nice title for your signature! What could be better? Sign Up Now!
Double moos from your cowy friend,
YTTE (And Tayor too, I guess.)

Hey! It's sooo worth it! You get something! The HRH MuCal. Tayor Lz4.jpgMUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 12:28, 28 May 2008 (UTC)


Hey, just to let you know, you have your second nomination for Fag of the Month, hope you're honoured/honored :P ~FAG! +chatline "if it ain't broke, break it" (CUN·VFH) 14:30, 24 June 2008 (UTC)


Hi, Saint Olipro. I'm a Vandal Commander from your's italian sister, Nonciclopedia . I'm grateful to you for the rangeUNblock of, that (today [i've a variable IP]) includes also me.
But there's some other work to do... Here you'll find all the other crazy IP vandal to unblock.
I don't know and i don't care why Hinoa made that blocks (perhaps was deaddrunk?), but i know that some weapons are dangerous in wimp's hands.
Thanks of all. ---Zaza- 12:12, 27 July 2008 (UTC)

Got them. Edit away! Feels quite good to have unblocked 5.5 million IP addresses :) Spang talk 14:23, 27 Jul 2008
Spy Faggot :( -- Prof Olipro Icons-flag-gb.png KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 12:28, 28 July 2008 (UTC)

Someone with your exact name just gave me a classic Olipro

I'd like you to find this person and olipro them!! /me bows and leaves Olipro to his, uh, administrative duties. Thank you for your kind attention,

15:10, 28 July 2008 (UTC)


You deleted my 'gulf war' article because it wasn't expanded? I JUST MADE THAT ARTICLE. I THOUGHT I COULD GIVE IT A REST FOR A WHILE. Ldude893 11:24, 13 September 2008 (UTC)

I demand you to resurrect the article. Ldude893 03:38, 16 September 2008 (UTC)

Good one

You know what I'm talking about. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 07:33, 3 October 2008 (UTC)

Do You Think You'll Respond to This One?

So, I've got several things to say to you. One of them is:

Dearest gerard.jpg Tayor wishes that you were Gerard Way. You must appease her, as she is God


As you have otherwise displeased her, you could fix that. Comply here.

and, how could I go about becoming admin/op? I've been on for 2 years 8 months, or something, I know quite a bit of coding now (I think) and I'm working on other stuff. Do I not deserve this prestiguous honor? Hmm?

Otherwise, hey there, and hopefully I'll get to talk to you soon. :D The HRH MuCal. Tayor Lz4.jpgMUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 15:50, 20 October 2008 (UTC)




Newcookie.gif Sycamore has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

For a wonderful session;)--Sycamore (Talk) 12:22, 4 December 2008 (UTC)

Happy Hanukkah


Merry Christmas


Bonner would like to wish you

a Merry Christgame
And a happy New Game
P.S, You just lost the game (Bonner) (Talk)

Happy Holidays :D

Wiccan20Countess20-20Yule20Reef20-2.gif Happy Pagan Holiday from Tayor. Actually, Yule was the 21st. But, uh, the Christian Christmas is a capitalistic farce, so, uh, hah. Long live the original!
And I am SO not a heathen

!! The HRH MuCal. Tayor Lz4.jpgMUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 15:17, 23 December 2008 (UTC)



Candycane.gif Kip the Dip has given you a holiday candy cane!
Hobo says 'hi'. He absolutely loves that Christmas sweater you gave him.

Here's Your Christmas Tree

----Pleb- Sawblade5 [block me!] ( yell | FAQ | I did this ) 08:36, 25 December 2008 (UTC)

Because you sound like a BBC announcer...

Deinonychus playing poker.jpg This user is presented the Clever Deinonychus award for making Colin "All your base" Heaney laugh through some clever use of words that may or may not involve dinosaurs on IRC.

Skype, but what the fuck ever... Colin Explode fire.gifALL YOUR BASEExplode fire.gifHeaney! Casa Bey Superfly Portfolio 04:11, 18 February 2009 (UTC)


Your NewsBot seemed to have skipped of few months. This and this is full of red links. Is there anyway you can do to the bot? -- Sir Kip > Talk Works Contribs Sophia Commander of the Order USA! 09:05, Feb. 27, 2009


(Favoured gentile users can have a greeting too. Don't think that means I favour you in any way though - I think you're an arsehole.)

Is this...

Is this one of your female alter-egos? Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 09:10, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

I just checked it, and saw the link "World’’s oldest blogger dies at 108, after posting final message." Rather odd, as most people post their final message after they die. No wait....By the way, howdy. I've been annoyingly active here for almost eight months and don't think we've met. Rabbi Why do I need to provide this?, humble goylem rabbi of the Temple of Narishkayt and rector of The University of Uncyclopedia, Whynersville Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  06:27, April 24, 2010 (UTC)

You're seemingly online. Pleaseohpleaseohpleasekillitalready... *begs* -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Brainwashed to be British and then some. Certifiably MORE British than You. Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 14:50, 15 Mar

I see Mhaille beat you to it. Thank goodness someone killed it. Damned nuisance. :( -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Brainwashed to be British and then some. Certifiably MORE British than You. Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 14:52, 15 Mar

You Hopeless Romantic...

...or rapist....

what's going on? The HRH MuCal. Tayor Lz4.jpgMUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 12:21, 8 April 2009 (UTC)

'Ello Oli, you dodgy old perve. Since the update 29.04.09, my .js autorevert button doesn't work anymore (the undo buttons do, but they take ages in comparison). Any ideas for how to make it work again? Cheers. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 16:18, 30 April 2009 (UTC)

Dammit Olipro!

I though you were going to feature an article! Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 11:44, 31 May 2009 (UTC)


Hya Oli, I unfeatured Issac the tank engine. You might have noticed that the VFH is doing quite bad lately, and I think featuring just for the sake of featuring isn't something we want. Featuring an article that had 7.5 will lead to us having dozens of features because of self nominating people and all their buddies voted for them - featured at +6 votes. Give me a shout if you think otherwise. ~ 08:14, September 8, 2009 (UTC)

You can has free advert?

It appears so. 'Tis here - Who Invented Foxes?. It'd be absolutely spiffing if you returned the favour on Erotica Quotes, old chap. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 14:11, September 11, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for your submissions and suggestions, btw - we'll hopefully have some sort of paragraph separation in place before long. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 11:47, September 14, 2009 (UTC)


Sasquatch poetry reading.jpg Happy Sasquatch Appreciation Day!

March 24 is Sasquatch Appreciation Day, as decreed by celebutard Sarah Palin. Please join UnNews in celebration at midnight GMT, when something cool certainly will happen.


UnNews:Pixar film deemed too racy, gets X rating

rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 21:33, April 21, 2010 (UTC)

My article

Why did you delete my article? It wasn't finished, and I was in the process of finishing it while you deleted it. Could I please get permission to re-make the page Merzbow so I can write the rest? Then you can decide if it's worthy of existence. --SadisticWolf 16:56, April 27, 2010 (UTC)

Create it in and work on it in your userpace first; this will ensure it doesn't get deleted again. Then maybe try the Pee Review and see if it's good enough to be brought to the main space. Maybe created it as User:SadisticWolf/Merzbow? -- [sire] EMC [TALK] 17:00 Apr 27 2010
Oooh, ho-kay. I'll get better, I promise. --SadisticWolf 17:01, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
No worries. But if you don't, well cut off your hands. Or at least hope that you put your hands into a woodchipper. -- [sire] EMC [TALK] 17:05 Apr 27 2010


I do believe there is consensus to keep that article per the dramathon. And, Socky to the liberty of restoring it, although not the most recent version. --Mn-z


03:01, May 23, 2010 (UTC)

You were quite literally asking for this

SotM.png User Nominated for Sockpuppet
This user has been nominated for SOCKY —you can vote for them to be Lucky or Editing your least-Master at User:Sockpuppet of an unregistered user.

Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 17:43, 23 May 2010

Poo Lit Surprise Illustrated Articles

Hey Olipro - I noticed you completely removed the PLS Illustrated Articles section. Was User:Hyperbole/Suddenly, Raccoons deemed not to qualify? I thought it followed the guildelines, unless there was some rule that fully 100% of the images had to be shopped. talk 18:42, May 24, 2010 (UTC)

Nice to meet you too

Bitch. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA Lord of Egypt AMUSE ME 23:55, May 24, 2010 (UTC)

Now Olipro

While I'm not saying anyone caused any drama here, I would like to advise you to read through a couple other articles authored by Hyperbole, and I think you'll find a lot of them are a lot more "mature" than you might think, not to mention pretty damn funny. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 21:54, 26 May 2010

Because obviously someone's past articles should also be considered when gauging the quality of their latest one. Are you fucking mental? -- Prof Olipro Icons-flag-gb.png KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 23:33, May 26, 2010 (UTC)

Welcome to Uncyclopedia!

Hey you newfag! You need to fuck off! Also, I'd put a welcome template over here, but you're a newfag. Pleb CUN KUN Dexter111344 Complain here Vote now! 01:59, May 28, 2010 (UTC)


Remember when you, me, the Kodeine Kid, and our posse rode throughout these lawless wastes dispensing justice? Good times.... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)


Just wondering if I could get this unlocked. It was locked for the PLS. I don't pretend to know what you admins do on a day to day basis (I'm assuming it involves cheese though) but I'm sure your pretty busy. I just wanted this unlocked so i could move it to mainspace to clear up the confusion in VFD where the original is up for deletion. Thanks and enjoy your cheese...--John Lydon 15:27, June 18, 2010 (UTC)