User talk:Olipro/Archive1

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UnNews Audio!!!

Nice audio for UnNews:Haggard still "fabulous!". Of course now there's a file on my computer called "Gaymansex.mp3"...--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 03:23, 10 February 2007 (UTC)


Hey there! I haven't talked to you in forever! I'll make sure to have Theo leave you a message! I hope you're doing well!!! Enjoy yourself! and as i haven't much to do...The HRH MuCal. Tayor Lz4.jpgMUN (Praise!) (CMC!)


Cookie.jpg flyingfeline has awarded you a hug and a biscuit.
She would also like to scream hysterically in your ear,
but is afraid it would get her desysopped.

You deserve it a million times more than me, and if you don't get sysopped next time, I'll, erm... be... annoyed. Yes. Beware. -- 20:25, 16 January 2007 (UTC)

Seasoned Greetings

Hiya, Olio Pro, just wanted to let you know that I wish you a very merry Christmas thingy and a doubleplus A-Okay shiny new year. Cheerio -- di Mario 11:44, 25 December 2006 (UTC)

Quidquid Latine dictum sit altum viditur

Ad perpetuam memoriam de Sol Invictus

Composure1, writer of UnNews and humble servant of Uncyclopedia, sends personal greetings to you [insert username here], on this festival for our glorious god Sol Invictus. While many heathen have long abandoned our undefeated sun god, especially since Emperor Theodosius I banned the holiday in the year 390, I know that you are a true believer like me. So I hope you are celebrating with all the necessary debauchery and sacrifices, and I wish you the very best. Orta recens quam pura nites Sol Invictus! --Composure1 20:06, 24 December 2006 (UTC)


OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!! Hi Oli!!!!!!!!!! How goes it!!! just dropping by...and leaving..but hi! The HRH MuCal. Tayor Lz4.jpgMUN (Praise!) (CMC!)

Yes, you did well to leave a message. I sent this only yesterday- the 15th de novembre. much after we talked on IRC!!!! well then!!! yayness!

Welcome back

Zim_ulator has been doing a fine job filling in on UnNews, but you were missed nevertheless. --Composure1 15:51, 30 August 2006 (UTC)


Kitten in glass.jpg Tayor has decided to grace you with her presence.
She likes kittens, and apparently you too.


Now hear these words of wisdom, and good bye.

It won't let me go on Unyc


...for your vote and kind words for Embracing Mediocrity. I'm stunned to see it front-paged in just 3 days from completion. It's very gratifying. :) ~ T. (talk) 03:48, 2 June 2006 (UTC)

Red Links

So what is your theory on red links? I mean, I was under the impression that links are supposed to, well... LINK somewhere, haha. I can see adding links to things that one could potentially write an article about (say "Michael Jackson", if such an article doesn't already exist), but to do so for mundane words like "behavior" or "severe" seems rather excessive. I was commenting specifically to Zim_ulator about it because he "tidies up" articles by inserting a slew of links into them - some of them are ok, but a lot are not. 10 different red links in a single short UnNews article just seems excessive IMHO. We could move this discussion into the Village Dump by the way to see what people think. --Composure1 20:51, 22 May 2006 (UTC)

3 More Smegging Audio Files

I did some more audio, but don't know about podcast stuff: can you let me know if there's somplace else I should be posting the links beside the fron page template? oh, and are they ok? I was purposely sloppy with my recording technique. rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 23:16, 13 May 2006 (UTC)

Oh, and I was thinking... Rev_zim's Weekly Sermon" or something like that, to earn my pay as Chaplain. What to you think? rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 00:15, 14 May 2006 (UTC)

Customer Service!

Thanks for the info, Oli the Pro. Now, whether I can use it is another matter. But I think you'll find that for dry, absurdist comedy about politics in Washington not involving Iran invading anything, Sir Weasel has the goods. I just told Todd Lyons to consider me for Washington Correspondent, and I'll tell you as well. Look, I just want more titles.

And, is there a trick beyond actually looking into things and figuring it out myself to reading UnNews articles to .ogg and uploading them? Aristocratically, Cornet Sir Wilde Weas'l KUN VFH FP (Witty Remarkes) 02:33, 13 May 2006 (UTC)

Add a Template to this, Oli

Senor Pro, I haven't been around here much lately, but check my user page for a background in who I is. Now, I want to be an asset for UnNews. I realize you don't run UnNews. But I now need your assistance to help give me the encouragement to be an asset to UnNews by letting me in on the secret of "featuring" articles (in lieu of pay, of course), because the method has changed since I was last around. I'll be cc'ing other UnNewsers, and the more interest I garner in my inability to figure out wikicode, the closer I'll get to getting my tautly written articles (UnNews:Bush Ecstatic To Have New Pen Pal in Iran, UnNews:Moussaoui Granted New Trial) the column they deserve, the more likely I'll be to write some more good stuff. Thanks. 2nd lt. sir wild weasel kun vfh fp Icons-flag-us.png sex & violence! 02:16, 13 May 2006 (UTC)

Audio of "You are reading this headline; about to click on it"

Just wanted to say "nice job" on the podcast of the story and your humorous additions to it --Composure1 21:58, 18 April 2006 (UTC)

Seamus says 'hello'

Hi, I just saw your greeting on my discussion page. Yes, it was Seamus Heaney that just popped into my head when I first registered, and I figured Seamus Mahoney was as good a name to be using as any. How wrong I was. Never mind; it's the articles that count!--Seamus Mahoney 12:09, 18 April 2006 (UTC)

One of Seamus Heaney's poems:

When I was a child, on a farm

I picked a great big load of blackberries and kept them in the barn

But because I didn't know about refrigeration or jam-making

They all went off. --Seamus Mahoney 12:36, 22 September 2006 (UTC)

UnNews new story template

Ok, I'll go through and edit my recent article templates as you described. But perhaps the default template that links from this page should be fixed. That's where I went to click on "Create New Article" and used the default template generated there. I will use the one from the main page now, but I think that other one should be corrected so as not to cause confusion.

PeeWee Herman's Matrix

You can do whatever you want with it, it was kind of stupid anyway. Bassically the whole thing began when I was jocking with friends who rememer Lawrence Fishbourn's early career as Cowboy Curtess, which led to a speculation of what it would be like if Pee Wee was the Neo character (you would probably have to have seen the original Playhouse series to understand the begining and last scenes, the intermediary scenes are remeniscent of hist Big Adventure, of course). And it was just funny having him put on Agent Smith's glasses.

If you want any final words, well look at this. -- 05:20, 15 April 2006 (UTC)

I see, but in their case, that little script adds to the humour, rather than acts as the basis of the humour, and that's the fundamental difference --Olipro Icons-flag-gb.png Co-Anc (Harass) 12:58, 15 April 2006 (UTC)

I think the script is hilarious. Keep it, man. --PiOfFive 01:39, 16 April 2006 (UTC)

Sorry for being an anal retentive, but... erm... why? --Olipro Icons-flag-gb.png Co-Anc

(Harass) 02:15, 16 April 2006 (UTC)

Why not? It's funny enough. --PiOfFive 02:23, 16 April 2006 (UTC)
Come on dude, you can do better than that... obviously the reason I NRV'd it is because I don't think it's funny... --Olipro Icons-flag-gb.png Co-Anc (Harass) 02:37, 16 April 2006 (UTC)
That's why I dont like the NRV system. Just because an admin doesn't think something's funny means it gets deleted. --PiOfFive 04:00, 16 April 2006 (UTC)

User:Zim_ulator thanks you

zim_ulator thanks you for featuring his article UnNews. Maybe he'll get off his lazy ass and present you with a suitable award, but for now this will have to do.

Here's the award I promised, better never than late. rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 23:27, 13 May 2006 (UTC)


Newcookie.gif Isra1337 has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

for cleaning up the cabal subpages on deadendpages. And wow you are anal about your talk page. :) ---Quill.gifRev. Isra (talk) 03:18, 13 April 2006 (UTC)

Stock Tip

Hey, I like the update you put on the Tip of the Week section of UnNews. That should be a very flexible space, so it can vary from gambling odds to stocks to other similar things. I like it! -- » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 18:42, 12 April 2006 (UTC)


Newcookie.gif Tompkins has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

Thanks for your help with that image... that I can't find the link for. I figured that since I'm allowed to give out cookies, I should give one to you. HOMESTAR ME!!! TURTLE ME!!! t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 02:08, 5 April 2006 (UTC)


What's so wrong with it? It took me quite some time to make it, I would be really disappointed if it was deleted... 10:31, 3 April 2006 (UTC)

It's factual content, that stuff belongs on Wikipedia, if you want it to remain, then make it funny. --Olipro Icons-flag-gb.png (Harass) 14:08, 3 April 2006 (UTC)
Factual content? You must be joking. :) I don't know how many times you've been in a metro, but I never had to walk when I took the metro. 18:32, 3 April 2006 (UTC)
OK, allow me to be more blunt; it's not funny, and in fact, varying portions of it appear to be factual, and/or aren't blurring the lines of reality sufficiently such that it can be found amusing; a single concept, backed up by logical, non-humouros content is not funny in the slightest. Spelling sucks in places too --Olipro Icons-flag-gb.png (Harass) 19:55, 3 April 2006 (UTC)

Grammar Nazi

Oh, I'd definitely label me-self a grammar Nazi. Actually, I'm a member of the Grammar Gestapo (we also do alliteration). --Major4 Major insignia.png 03:07, 3 April 2006 (UTC)

Worst April Fools Jokes

Thanks for making my contribution to the list even more funnier. I really like what you added. I hope you come up with more ideas for the list soon. They will probably help me get inspiration for more ideas for the list myself.Toonmon 04:15, 2 April 2006 (UTC)


I appreciate your vote for War on Humor. Well, even if it looks like you were just voting for Xiao Li's vote... still. I appreciate the help, anyway. Cheers.--<<>> 03:23, 31 March 2006 (UTC)

Apple News

brilliant rendition of steve jobs --Chronarion 06:55, 12 March 2006 (UTC)

wow, I feel special, I'll never wash this hand space again! --Olipro 15:47, 12 March 2006 (UTC)

To the New UnNews Czar

Your new coverage of the Insane Jester incident was a great service to Uncyclopedia, and I give you my thanks. In addition to your general hard work at UnNews, I award you with my first-ever cookie. Cheers!

Newcookie.gif Bradaphraser has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

--<<>> 19:37, 1 May 2006 (UTC)

UnNews Bulletin

I was thinking of doing an UnNews Midnight Bulletin (GMT), summing up the days events and being broadcasted onto IRC. Because I cannot be arsed to stay up till then, maybe we should write them before, get a bot to post them, and get someone like Brad to read it. I could do saturdays, normally I suppose. ANYWAY - here is a sample for UnNews (on Uncyclopedia), and a more IRC feely version (for #unnews). I was just making it up as a test run. Pls get back to me ASAP replying YES/NO and comments.

2 New Audio Files for UnNews uploaded

It's all in the subject box, so don't bother reading this. rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 20:42, 25 May 2006 (UTC)

Smegging audio!!!

Two more .ogg files uploaded, do what you must. rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 17:21, 27 May 2006 (UTC)

UnNews Main Page

Yeah, I noticed your message before I logged in. It seems I forgot to log in before I restored it. -- Kaizer the Bjorn takkun Nya? (nya nya) (1961 model!) Check out T61! 12:26, 1 June 2006 (UTC)

Goldstein Award

Congratulations, you've won the Goldstein Award for May. I added the template to your user page at the top; move that wherever you want. You also get promoted to CUN (Commander of the Order of Uncyclopedia). Again, congratulations! —Hinoa KUN (talk) 22:22, 1 June 2006 (UTC)


I am disgusted by your lack of cooperation in removing inaccuracies from Uncyclopedia.

--Icon.gifSir Xiao Li CUN VFH NS (Talk)[citation needed] 01:40, 3 June 2006 (UTC)

You're just begging for the UGotM award ain't ya?

UGotM npmination? Yes, please. -- Icon.gifSir Xiao Li CUN VFH NS (Talk)[citation needed] 03:37, 6 June 2006 (UTC)


--Olipro Icons-flag-gb.png Anchor CUN (Harass) 11:58, 3 June 2006 (UTC)

Thanks for the vote!!!

I haven't properly thanked you for your nomination. So, thanks for you comments about my prolific output, nom, and vote. I've decided "you jazz" sounds kind of stupid, so I'll salute you with a Happy Toke! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 16:34, 4 June 2006 (UTC)

UnNews template stuff!!!

I added some comments to the three lead templates, hoping to reduce confusion about shuffling stories when replacing a top lead. Let me know if you think my comments are ok, would you? Thanks rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 20:30, 17 June 2006 (UTC)

RE:NYMEX opens floor to Christian missionary futures

Check it out and edit if you'd like... I await you're approval for airing. Or, if you'd like to do the audio, that's great too. rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 14:37, 23 June 2006 (UTC)

Bloody Canadians

1) Oli: The thing at the top of this page doesn't work right.


2) I found this picture and and thought of I edited it. --Major Sir Zombiebaron GUNWotMUotMPotMAotMEGAEDMUPotMMAFEZotMIotMVotMUGotM (shout) 02:59, 25 June 2006 (UTC)


...for the template thanking me for my vote. Wonder if I should make a template for this? -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)



Okay, so I'm not sure if I've given you one of these yet Oli, but in anycase:

I award this for Olipro due to the fact that he fixed my userpage up real good, and cause he's just generally a good guy. --Major Sir Zombiebaron GUNWotMUotMPotMAotMEGAEDMUPotMMAFEZotMIotMVotMUGotM (shout) 19:12, 10 September 2006 (UTC)

About your precioussss....

Just after you stormed out of #unnews, I noticed something:

[9:15pm] Hinoa: "We experienced a timeout connecting to this feed at this time. Read timed out"
[9:17pm] Hinoa: Oh, and furthermore: "Error parsing feed: Invalid XML."

It won't let me submit the podcast to iTunes unless it's valid XML. So get on it. —Correspondent Hin Arash, PRAA Icons-flag-us.png [TALK] [KUN] 01:19, 15 September 2006 (UTC)




PodCast Info this webpage is wrong. It's at the top of the UnNews Page next to Audio. It says that we are only in .ogg format, and plug ins need to be downloaded and stuff like that. If you can get a hold of that and change it, it would be nice.-- Sir Severian Severian1.jpg CUN.png (Sprich mit mir!) Kraut.png 16:39, 22 September 2006 (UTC)

Oh no! Not banished?!?

I confess, I desecrated the UnNews main page! Please stop with the comfy chair and the soft cushions (have you got all the stuffing at one end?). I must have ignored an ingorable policy, of which I was ignorant, due to my ignorance. I won't do it again... probably. rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 00:00, 26 September 2006 (UTC)

Blank Page

I have saved Blank Page from the bottomless pit of removed articles. Or at least reverted it from a redirect. It's one of those acceptably short articles, I think! Just thought I'd let you know... or something. Spang talk 11:26, 27 September 2006 (UTC)

Lo siento

Sorry for acting like a jackass on IRC today. I've just had a really hard day, starting at about 8:30 when the seventh fire alarm this month went off. —Correspondent Hin Arash, PRAA Icons-flag-us.png [TALK] [KUN] (18:01, 27 September 2006 (UTC))

UnNews main page

Hi Oli, I suggested to Zim to put the unnews award template on UnNews main page, like the writer/noob etc on uncync main page. He basically agrees and kicker me over said I should consult with you regarding the execution of me it. So, whatdaya think? Thanks! -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il.png GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI2 AnotM VFH +S 08:03, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

I think that if you cut down the last day (i.e., showing news from only the last three days and not four) you'll have enough space....

Another idea I was toying aroud with, what do you think about adding "Ask Your Rabbi" (like the ask hal/cathulu) bits? -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il.png GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI2 AnotM VFH +S 13:42, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

Possible Uncycloversity collaboration

This is the Uncycloversity idea I was talling about. I thought it could use your perspective in finance and/or speculation User:zim_ulator/Catbox#Speculative_Reincarnation. Thanks for any input. rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 20:49, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

I hate your Talk Page

I just do! Leave it at that... Template:Listen is wrong, the link to help goes to .ogg help on wikipedia. what do we change it to?-- Sir Severian Severian1.jpg CUN.png (Sprich mit mir!) Kraut.png 16:07, 5 October 2006 (UTC)


Arigato gozaimasu for your vote, you recieve a gracious and/or and/or beautiful gift.

NeoZidane CUNTSpacer.gifSpacer.gifSpacer.gifIcons-flag-gb.png Headbutt extraordinaire __соединяйтесь! 17:23, 10 October 2006 (UTC)

PS Can you fix my sig? It looks really FUBAR with the datecode like that


zim_cast... now that's funny. I don't know whether to laugh or vomit. I know I've been scarce lately: the real world (or meatspace, as I currently call it). I will tell my wife, and when she's done moaning and wretching, we'll discuss it over Crumpet Berry Bagels. I have this friend who told me to use him if I want, so maybe I'll ask him to do something, even thought he's a filthy heathen and is unworthy of Uncychosis... heh, I think I've just invented that word... and several butchers aprons. I'll try to pop by IRC when I'm up to extended conversation. Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 18:56, 21 October 2006 (UTC)

Thank You ^_^

Chickenbox2.0.png THANK YOU

Thank you for supporting my image on the VFP
In Soviet Russia, Image supports YOU!!''
You Are A True Comrade
~Premier Tom Mayfair

Hammer and sickle.png
Chickenbox2.0.png This user raises their own chickenbox.

The userbox can be editted to your choice if you decide to us it. Again, Thank You ^_^ Premier Tom Mayfair 23:53, 3 November 2006 (UTC)

I still hate this. It's too hard for the new fellas

Quick note of hello.I've been philandering about lately and haven't been able to talk a lot. I've also been in a middle school quite often checking out the teaching scene with pre pubescent bastards...So Hello, how's it going?-- Sir Severian Severian1.jpg CUN.png (Sprich mit mir!) Kraut.png 02:54, 17 November 2006 (UTC)

Something strange

I noticed that the UnNews Main page history shows me as adding something about "the sun never setting on UnNews", but I don't remember doing it... could it be someone hijacked my zim_ness? rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 00:55, 28 November 2006 (UTC)