User talk:Procopius

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test Hello, Procopius, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig.png) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, or ask at the Dump. Again, welcome!  ~ T. (talk) 00:15, 3 July 2006 (UTC)

So you've decided to make a game...[edit]

However... We have a namespace for things like that... It's called ... Game:... So, be a dear, will you, and move all them pages you made to [[Game:Pagename pagenumber]] . I'll take care of the redirects that get created with each move. :) --00:44, 6 July 2006 (UTC)

Left on MoneySign's talk page originally

Hi -- sorry about that Choose Your Own Adventure format. I didn't know about the game pages. I'll move the pages.--Procopius 00:49, 6 July 2006 (UTC)

That's ok. And here's another little newbie-mistake: when someone left a message on your talk page, you should reply there. That person is most likely keeping an eye on the page. Replying on the person's own talk page will fragment the conversation, thus rendering it decreased in value. (I'll, of course, have to copy/paste this on your talk page now, because I'm not sure you're watching this space... :D) --Sir Mon€¥$ignSTFU [email protected]|PLS|NS 00:56, 6 July 2006 (UTC)
Oh, and sorry about the ban... I just find it's the most effective way to get a message to the person before he/she/it does anymore "damage".
No problem -- I definitely got the message.  :)--Procopius 00:57, 6 July 2006 (UTC)
Heh... Don't worry about the what-you-might-think-is smudge on your record (the block-log). Every good Uncyclopedian gets blocked at least once. (Even those who forget to leave their name when putting a message on someone's talk pages). --Sir Mon€¥$ignSTFU [email protected]|PLS|NS 01:01, 6 July 2006 (UTC)
While I've got you -- I'm trying to move the pages, but Uncyclopedia says I need to log in. I log in, try to move the pages and get the same message. Am I doing something wrong?--Procopius 01:05, 6 July 2006 (UTC)

Oh.. Heh... No... They're running some tests on Wikia right now, so any such occurances just might be due to that. Guess you'll have to wait 'til later on or tomorrow. --Sir Mon€¥$ignSTFU [email protected]|PLS|NS 01:10, 6 July 2006 (UTC)

OK. Thanks. Believe it or not, I appreciate your help tonight.  :)--Procopius 01:11, 6 July 2006 (UTC)
Awwwww, no problem. Believe it or not, but that's why I'm (or should be) here: to help those who need it. --Sir Mon€¥$ignSTFU [email protected]|PLS|NS 01:15, 6 July 2006 (UTC)

So I went and moved them for you anyways. ^_^ However, I feel guilty because I would have liked to see you learn something from this whole situation. So, I guess, to make it up to you, I'll describe what to keep an eye out for, should you ever move a page yourself.

1. Do not break existing links 
Be sure to click on What links here in the toolbox (left of the screen, just under the search box). If there are pages that link to the current name of the article, adjust them accordingly. Exceptions to this are if the page containing the link is actually about the moving (e.g.: the links in your talk page to Choose Your Own Adventure); or if you plan to keep the redirects (e.g.: you want to change the article name from "WWW" to "World Wide Web").
2. Have unwanted resulting redirects deleted 
When you move a page, a redirect to the new article space is created on the orignal space. If these are unwanted or disallowed redirects (e.g.: moved "Chirst" to "Christ"; moved "Procopius" to "User:Procopius"), be sure to have a sysop delete them by placing them on QuickVFD (read the rules first) or contact a sysop on his talk page.
3. Be careful what you're doing 
If the history goes back quite a bit (possibly with various contributors), then the article might not want to be moved. Perhaps the name/spelling is part of the joke, for example. In any case, you should read the discussion page and/or contact the main contributor or a sysop if you need clarification. Also, to save yourself from trouble, be sure your destination article name is not already taken.
4. Do not abuse 
The move function should only really be used when there is a better, more suitable name for an article. Moving an article for humorous reasons only, is usually not as funny as you first thought (e.g. moving Teachers to Dickheads). It will likely be seen as vandalism and any consequences that may have. Of course, once in a decade, an exception occurs ...
(e.g.: 12:34 . . Spang (Talk | contribs) (moved Jews to Concentration Camp)).

There, hope that helps you out a bit. Good luck and happy editing! --Sir Mon€¥$ignSTFU [email protected]|PLS|NS 06:37, 6 July 2006 (UTC)

Thanks. I've done moves before on Wikipedia, but this is a handy reminder.--Procopius 16:46, 6 July 2006 (UTC)
Oh geez... I'm sorry... I just thought... Guh... Sorry... I shouldn't have assumed that just because you didn't know about the Game namespace and what the local norm is for talk page correspondence, you're a total wiki-noob... Didn't mean to sound condescending or anything. Hmmz... *kicks self*
Well then... I guess I'll just leave it at the clichéd "Good luck and happy editing" well wishes yet again! :D --Sir Mon€¥$ignSTFU [email protected]|PLS|NS 20:40, 6 July 2006 (UTC)

Whoa, I had almost the exact same idea about the godzilla and missile crsis connection for UnNews.. except i was going to write an article about how it was a calculated attack by the ghost of stalin but oh well. Good job. --Upascal 18:00, 14 July 2006 (UTC)

Hey -- thanks a lot! You know, I wouldn't mind reading a story about the ghost of Stalin . . .--Procopius 18:35, 14 July 2006 (UTC)

UnNews:Diogenes searches world for honest mechanic[edit]

The above UnNews story — that's your doing, correct? Diogenes of Sinope? Jesus, you weren't educated in an American public school, were you? This UnNews story is outstanding... I laughed my ass off. Now I'm assless, which is going to hinder my ability to get jiggy with it, but 'twas well worth it. I actually just used Diogenes in Euripides and it's talk page, but those were much briefer references. Anyway, just wanted to thank you for the laughs. -- Imrealized IMme 17:50, 18 July 2006 (UTC)

Thanks a lot -- I thoroughly enjoyed that Euripides article, by the way. Oh, and as to your question -- I was educated in an American Catholic School. --Procopius 22:36, 18 July 2006 (UTC)
Wow, looks like we're not the only Diogenes fans, huh? Congratulations on the nom and the doing well with the nom (last I checked). Catholic school? That may explain it. Although as much as I bad mouth American public schools, I was educated in one (well, not really, but I went to one) and I turned out alright. Though that may have had more to do with my after school activities. Oh, and thanks for the vote on Euripides. -- Imrealized 15:22, 19 July 2006 (UTC)
De nada and thanks for your vote on Diogenes. Something about Greek philosophers and modern society seems inherently funny to me.--Procopius 17:35, 19 July 2006 (UTC)

UnNews Bono piece[edit]

Excellent, if only life could really work like this! :) -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il.png GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI2 AnotM VFH +S 12:29, 19 July 2006 (UTC)

Thanks for the kind words -- I love the template. Where are you in relation to the fighting?--Procopius 17:35, 19 July 2006 (UTC)
Sorry for the long delay, wasn't paying attention. I'm about an hour's drive away from the big mess...waiting for a possible reserve duty...Oh, and thanks a lot for the Foolitzer nomination...appreciate it! Mordillo Israelicon.gifHands off the virgin!Time till next rocket hits:Countdown.gif

Battle of Gettysburg[edit]

One of the funniest articles I've read here, just wanted to let you know how amused you made me. Especially with the aftermath section. Since I'm new, I don't really know if I'm allowed to post here or whatever, or if I'm allowed to nominate this for featured article, but boy do I want to. --Palsworth 04:10, 25 July 2006 (UTC)

Thanks! I left thoughts on your page.--Procopius 12:32, 25 July 2006 (UTC)


Just letting you know I love this article and nommed it for VFH. As a regular visitor to Snopes, I found it a great parody of some of the stuff on there. Copyright issues aside, I think it should do well - fingers crossed.

I would also like to take this opportunity to thank you for the vote on HowTo: Be a Tramp at VFH, and if you have not already voted, may I cheekily point you in the direction of Adobe Potatochop? Cheers and good luck. --Hindleyite | PL | GUN | WOTM | Image Review - Use it | Converse 13:03, 29 July 2006 (UTC)

Vote registered for Adobe Potatochop. I held off on voting because I thought the article was good, but didn't feel qualified to speak about Photoshop (which I haven't used regularly in ages). But hell, all the work that went into it means it ought to be good. Thanks for the nod!--Procopius 14:42, 29 July 2006 (UTC)

UnNews:Baby not taking baptism well[edit]

Are the Rolfsons people you know, with their real names? Just curious, I'm going to hack it anyway... and do an audio, of course. rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 20:39, 30 July 2006 (UTC)

No, I just kind of picked those names out of a hat (I'm not from Minnesota). But something like that happened to me recently at a Mass. I'm sure I did it myself.--Procopius 20:48, 30 July 2006 (UTC)

N00b Of The Month[edit]

Hey man, I just nominated you for NOTM. I have no idea why u werent nommed last month. I really like the work you've done here so far, so I think you're deserving. Good Luck! -- Sir C America...Fuck Yeah!!!! Holla | CUN 06:10, 1 August 2006 (UTC)

Children's Crusade[edit]

This is awesome. I love the way you can make fun of your own religion without being too offensive. The Children's Crusade was possibly the worst moment in Catholic history (heck, the whole period from 1000-1600 was horrible). Great article.

Damn you![edit]

Up until know I thought I had a pretty good chance with scoring the Poo-Lit. But yer cover letter thingy is too good! DAMN YOU TO HELL! oh, and...good show chum! -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il.png GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI2 AnotM VFH +S 16:46, 11 August 2006 (UTC)

Bah. The Hebrew story is great, and you've got audio, too, which should more than outweigh the pictures I stole from Wikipedia.--Procopius 19:51, 11 August 2006 (UTC)


Well, well, well, it appears you've made quite a name for yourself here at Uncyclopedia. Great job! FYI, the War of 1812 is nominated for VFH as well! Considering you wrote a large portion of it (or so you claim), most of that credit may go to you, and you might have yourself another little tag to put on your page to boast about it. I highly recommend that you make an "awards" page or something in the near feature. Speaking of which:

Newcookie.gif emc has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

Keep up the good work...or else... -- [sire] EMC [TALK] 21:04, 15 August 2006 (UTC)

Hey, thank ye kindly -- Grue's Clues was fantastic. Oh, and Diogenes thanks you for your change of heart.  :)--Procopius 00:52, 17 August 2006 (UTC)

Fawning Sycophancy[edit]

I haven't made a template for shameless sucking up to people, but if I had I'd present one here - I enjoy your stuff, well done. FreeMorpheme 16:23, 17 August 2006 (UTC)

Thank ye kindly. I'm a big fan of Disco Jesus myself -- the picture is priceless. Has it gone through VFP?--Procopius 01:44, 18 August 2006 (UTC)
How kind of you to say. No, the dancing one has never faced the firing line, although feel free to set him up if you like, with a smile like that, how can he fail? FreeMorpheme 19:51, 18 August 2006 (UTC)


Thanks for the vote. You just helped fulfill one of the more obscure prophecies in the Book o' Revelations.--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 04:54, 20 August 2006 (UTC)

Who's Afwaid of a Widdle Apokowips?
When the end comes, remember, it's all your fault

Hmmm, I was wondering why all these overall-clad kittens were chewing my face off.--Procopius 12:48, 20 August 2006 (UTC)
Are you sure it's not just your ham sombrero?--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 13:58, 20 August 2006 (UTC)


Hi, thanks for the award. I need more of those on my page!--Shandon 15:36, 20 August 2006 (UTC)

Thanks for saving the stories from, um, the idiots.--Procopius 11:38, 21 August 2006 (UTC)

Let me be the first[edit]

to congratulate you on your Poo Lit Surprise win. :) Excellent article, in what was a very difficult to judge competition. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)

Dammit Mhaille, I was going to write the exact same thing: Let me be the first to congratulate. You enjoy crushing my dreams, don't you? Anyway, Let me be the second to congratulate you on an ace job Procopius.--Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 00:00, 21 August 2006 (UTC)

That's fantastic! Thanks a lot. I agree -- there were a lot of excellent entries in the contest, which makes this humbling.--Procopius 11:38, 21 August 2006 (UTC)

Congratulations! This is miles better than last year's winner... I'm not saying that was bad, just not as good as HowTo:Write a Cover Letter. From a past winner to a present one, again congrats. -- Hindleyite 12:13, 21 August 2006 (UTC)

Another Honor* Showered Lovingly upon the great and wondrous Procopius[edit]

Rather worthless, but I try my best to praise you where I can. -- §. | WotM | PLS | T | C | A06:44, 23 August 2006 (UTC)

I shall tatoo it to my face. Incidentally, did I thank you for nominating Battle of Gettysburg? If not, thanks.--Procopius 11:29, 23 August 2006 (UTC)


Rather nice.  :)--Procopius 18:03, 24 August 2006 (UTC)

Poo Lit Surprise Prize! (at last)[edit]

So I guess a prize is in order.... To receive your sooperdooper first prize, and the less sooper $25 for coming top of your category, please send a name and address to Wikia community support. A bright shiny $25 coin and a wonderful and valuable wonderful first prize will be on their way to your door. Congratulations! -- sannse esnnas 13:35, 24 August 2006 (UTC)

Message sent. Thanks a lot!--Procopius 18:03, 24 August 2006 (UTC)

CD MP3 players[edit]

The last time I took a Greyhound across California, I got a GPX MP3 CD player at the SF Greyhound station for $10.99+tax. Now, GPX:gadgets::GPC:cigarettes, so I wouldn't recommend it, but if you're willing to spend a few dollars more, and/or shop somewhere besides the bus depot, you can probably get something much better. -- !!! ??? 19:13, 1 September 2006 (UTC)

Ah, that's what I figured. Good to know, though. I think I'll go to Best Buy.--Procopius 20:08, 1 September 2006 (UTC)


Read the section in the Potatore with your name in it, then edit it...tell me what you see.-- Sir Severian Severian1.jpg CUN.png (Sprich mit mir!) Kraut.png 20:04, 1 September 2006 (UTC)

I see a box with USERNAME inbetween it, and I feel very embarrassed. Good joke.--Procopius 20:08, 1 September 2006 (UTC)
Don't feel bad, I almost did the same thing. -- Sir Severian Severian1.jpg CUN.png (Sprich mit mir!) Kraut.png 20:09, 1 September 2006 (UTC)

Another award seems to be just what the doctor ordered[edit]

Thanks for the VFH nomination, and congrats on the PLS and NOTM and just about every other prize they got! :) keep on the great work...

Jew.gif This user is hereby nominated an HONORARY JEW, and is entitled for all honors and persecutions as such.

Woo-hoo! Thanks! I'm gonna go and have me a Shabbot meal!  :D

--Procopius 21:05, 2 September 2006 (UTC)


Oi! Stop using --USERNAME--that really screwed me up!!--Shandon 05:06, 3 September 2006 (UTC)

But you inspired me.--Procopius 13:52, 3 September 2006 (UTC)

Self-hating Jew[edit]

For what it's worth, I agree that the pics are weak. (Recycled, no--half of the pics have never appeared in the main UN namespace; not funny enough, definitely. And that's what matters.)

However, your comment about the Lieberman pic being a nonsequitur worries me. Seeing Joe Lieberman give a Nazi salute during his concession speech is half of what inspired the article. I think the pic is inherently funny, the caption makes the Nazi connection obvious, and it appears in the appropriate part of the text. So, if you think it's a non-sequitur, I must have done something wrong, and I'd like to fix it.

Anyway, thanks for the vote; if you can help me improve it, thanks even more. -- !!! ??? 16:09, 7 September 2006 (UTC)

First, thanks for showing me how to spell "non-sequitur" correctly.  :)

The problem with the Lieberman picture, for me anyway, is that I didn't see the Nazi salute in it. It looks like a straight wave to me. And the caption was just OK. It might be because I've lived in the bad areas of Connecticut and not the places of WASPdom (like Greenwich). If there was something closer to an actual salute, I might like it.

And I'm a fan of Dr. Zoidberg, and I know where his accent comes from, but wouldn't he be more a self-hating Crustacean?  :)--Procopius 12:08, 8 September 2006 (UTC)

The problem is that the time I clearly saw Lieberman give a Nazi salute was near the end of his concession speech, but every since press photo or video clip I can find clips his arm so you can't see it. (It must be a conspiracy by those Jews that control Hollywood, or at least CT.) So this was the best pic I could find; it sort of looks like a heil, but you're right, it's not great.
As for Zoidberg, I think the joke is pretty obvious; the real reason it's not that funny is that too many of the jokes come from animated shows (I guess I don't watch enough live-action shows?), and this is the weakest of the bunch.
Anyway, I understand the weak for votes. I think it's pretty funny as-is, but could be much funnier, and I probably shouldn't have nommed it yet. But, as I mentioned on the talk page, I don't want to work on it too heavily while it's in the middle of a vote. Plus, almost all of the changes people have tried to make have made it less funny (especially the anonymous users trying to make pro-Israel or anti-Israel political points). At any rate, thanks for your vote and your constructive criticism. -- !!! ??? 00:57, 13 September 2006 (UTC)

You know (of) me?[edit]

Whilst browsing through VFH I noticed the article Suburban Homeboy. I read through it, thought it was great and was about to vote til my eye caught something:

"For. Great stuff. Might even be better than all the stuff The Spith has done (and that's saying a lot).--Procopius 20:47, 2 September 2006 (UTC)"

I'm assuming you must mean someone else cos I'm a bit of a n00b and haven't written much stuff. The Spith 12:39, 12 September 2006 (UTC)

Click on the "Edit" tab and look at the line where I put my for vote. It's getting to be an old joke around here. On an unrealted note, welcome!--Procopius 13:13, 12 September 2006 (UTC)

Oh I see ^^

That's really clever. Messed me up when I first saw it. --The Spith 17:34, 12 September 2006 (UTC)

Suburban homeboy[edit]

In honour of your good taste and breeding for selecting a deep, socially conscious and literate satire as Suburban homeboy for featuring, I tip my cap to you. Hurrah!--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 06:10, 19 September 2006 (UTC)

Ah, gracias -- and excellent work on that article. It helps me deal with the Steelers' loss. Almost.--Procopius 11:41, 19 September 2006 (UTC)
That's football, right?--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 15:05, 19 September 2006 (UTC)
Yep -- and in this instance, painful football. :)--Procopius 15:06, 19 September 2006 (UTC)
Don't worry, I'm sure they'll take the pennant this year. Or cup. Or trophy. Purse?--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 15:13, 19 September 2006 (UTC)

American Fundie Magazine[edit]

This humble Uncyclopedian thanks you for your vote. It warms my jaded heart to know that there is, indeed, a place for satire on Uncyc, even the blunt, spooky shit. You're also one of the users who voted for Suburban homeboy, the Fifth Horseman and DV vs LG, so it's partly your fault that this has been my best couple of months here, ever.--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 11:17, 23 September 2006 (UTC)

Just a reminder[edit]

You still have to vote for user:Armando for the foolitzer! After all, he did share the info about the redhead...-- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il.png GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI2 AnotM VFH +S 09:47, 27 September 2006 (UTC)

Done. Call off your God.  :)--Procopius 13:40, 27 September 2006 (UTC)
Thanks! you're a good man you!

In the name of Allah! Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

has awarded you a Nuclear missile
Now go and destroy the The Zionist Entity

This Template Will Self Destruct in Countdown.gif seconds

-- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il.png GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI2 AnotM VFH +S 13:58, 27 September 2006 (UTC)

  • That Mahmoud looks like a real ladies man. I can see him staring in kind of a low rent version of "Stayin' Alive". You know he's got a closet full of red satin shirts...--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 14:10, 27 September 2006 (UTC)

secret project[edit]

psstt....take a look here and let me know if you'd like to help...-- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il.png GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI2 AnotM VFH +S 10:56, 28 September 2006 (UTC)


Thanks for helping to defend me from the foolish unhumour of a user who, by now, knows better. Hopefully. Even on a wiki with as widely varying tastes as Uncyc, it's nice to know that there's some semblance of community.--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 05:11, 1 October 2006 (UTC)

Hey Procope[edit]

Thanks for the Foolitzer vote. Glad you like my stuff and I wish you coulda seen the redhead... -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au.png KUN FP 10:36, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

Why Solid Gold?[edit]

Thanks for the vote. As for your confusion see "The Mysterious Answer to Your Confusion".--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 19:36, 9 October 2006 (UTC)

Ah! Got it. Thanks. Nice work (and thanks for the Hays Code vote and WotM nod).--Procopius 19:48, 9 October 2006 (UTC)
What little flak I caught for American Fundie Magazine was for its, ahem, lack of subtlety, so for this I tried to stretch a bit...and I vote for what I like. As the Poo Lit says, "You're write good".--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 19:55, 9 October 2006 (UTC)

Defender of the Clown[edit]

Damn, you brought back some good must be a veteran gamer as well no? Anyway, great piece! I think another nom is on the way....-- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il.png GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI2 AnotM VFH +S 08:49, 12 October 2006 (UTC)

Thanks! Yeah, getting an Amiga was an unfulfilled dream of my childhood. But now Cinemaware puts the complete Defender of the Crown on its website, and I can happily regress.--Procopius 12:54, 12 October 2006 (UTC)
I actually made (as a school project) a board game out of it, what a geek I was :) -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il.png GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI2 AnotM VFH +S 12:57, 12 October 2006 (UTC)

Hays Code Mishap[edit]

"replacing it with today's current MPAA rating system of G, PG, R and X."? Nowadays, we get PG-13, and X has become NC-17. I guess you don't get out much, but the Marx Brothers totally make up for it. --Donut Buy One!|[email protected]|MUN|NS|Please Help Me|. 03:33, 16 October 2006 (UTC)

I should have known that -- anyway, it's fixed. And hey, if you like it, why not vote for it over at VFH?--Procopius 12:06, 16 October 2006 (UTC)


Keep up the good work, and I'm nominated, mind you, as is one of my books. -- [sire] EMC [TALK] 02:51, 17 October 2006 (UTC)

God the Wholly Incompetent[edit]

Thanks for the message, Procopius. I understand why you're doing this, but I just want to help. Let's talk about it when you come back. Sir Master Pain (also known as Betty) 20:29, 25 October 2006 (UTC)
Okay! Sounds good to me. But, wait, does that mean that everyone that already voted would have to vote again? Sir Master Pain (also known as Betty) 23:55, 25 October 2006 (UTC)
Yep.--Procopius 00:00, 26 October 2006 (UTC)
Deal's off, because now you're fucking with my other articles.--Procopius 00:02, 26 October 2006 (UTC)

This is a persistent problem with this user. Well, *was* a persistent problem with this user. Your articles are safe from massive revert-warring now. 26/10 01:38

Thank you very much. Oy. I almost negotiated a truce with a troll . . .--Procopius 01:42, 26 October 2006 (UTC)
So I wasn't the only one...and Famine, I...I love you.--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 01:46, 26 October 2006 (UTC)
I did a bit of reverting, as most of his edits obviously weren't in tune with what others wanted. Feel free to rev back anything I missed. I assumed that one ban for edit-warring would indicate that it was a bad thing. I assumed that two other bans for being a dick would make him sit up and take notice. We'll see if the fourth time is a charm. 26/10 02:05

God the Wholly Incompetent is likely the best article I've seen on this cursed site. If you're female, just stay where you are and wait for me to arrive. If you're male, I'll pay for your sex change. We's gettin' married. --Concernedresident 10:13, 20 March 2009 (UTC)

Thanks. Unfortunately, I'm a dude.--Procopius 14:00, 20 March 2009 (UTC)
To be honest it's a lucky escape for you. --Concernedresident 17:10, 20 March 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for the great image on User:Tooltroll/The_Great_Aspie_War_of_Ought_Six[edit]

That headline is perfect! That's exactly what we need, stuff that makes this look like it was a real war with real life political consequences. That way, we can parody the fact that the real wars are actually as stupid as what happened in the Aspergers' rant forum. Super work! --Hrodulf 20:17, 27 October 2006 (UTC)

Thanks! I was aiming for a parody of the famous "Ford to City: Drop Dead" headline, but if it speaks to eternal truths, then, uh, good.  :)--Procopius 22:03, 27 October 2006 (UTC)
I'm a NY'er so I recognized the headline, I was just commenting on the enhanced realism, and therefore humor, your image provided to the article. I'm actually overwhelmed by how well it's turned out so far, it's exceeded my expectations significantly in terms of the quality and the humor. I've never worked with this many other users before also, that's also very cool. --Hrodulf 22:06, 27 October 2006 (UTC)


If you keep this up, we're going to have to get you a bigger "awards page"...something nice, with big bay windows and a view of the ocean, maybe?--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 19:48, 1 November 2006 (UTC)

Ah, thank ye kindly for the nod and the support. Being presented with a potato and a trophy does my Irish heart proud.--Procopius 21:15, 1 November 2006 (UTC)
  • As a fellow Irishman, I only have one bit of advice: wait a few months before making mead out of it. If you mash it up too quickly, it offends the voters. Later, you can substitute a plastic potato into the trophy, and no-one's the wiser.  ;-) ~ T. (talk) 21:26, 1 November 2006 (UTC)
I was actually gonna make it into a stew, but that's a good point.  :)--Procopius 23:55, 1 November 2006 (UTC)


Thanks for the WotM nom. The last four months certainly have been productive...the odd part is that in September I resolved to do less, as I was starting to feel burned out after Poo Lit. Funny how things work out, eh?--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 23:29, 1 November 2006 (UTC)

Yes, indeed -- I went dark for a few weeks after LBJ elevated into Holy Trinity because of work/lack of creativity, but the pump got primed again. Weird. Anyway, you are more than worthy of the Potato. As is Composure1 -- but I give the nod to you.--Procopius 23:55, 1 November 2006 (UTC)
I, meanwhile, took a self-imposed three day vacation; off work, no writing/chopping here, and read a book about zombies outside under the warm sun with a cool beer. It did wonders.
The last quarter has definitely been quite the change from my first six months here, when I mostly tinkered in anonymity with existing pages...I'm a little stunned that there are three of my pages on VFH at the moment, and only one's a selfnom (so I must be doing something right, methinks).
But enough about me; your WotM was well earned, as were the eight featured pages, and whatever else you've received in the two minutes since I started typing. --Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 00:07, 2 November 2006 (UTC)

Nom: a very special conclusion[edit]

Thanks again for the WotM nom. I've been writing a ton of stuff (most of which isn't finished yet, or is but is on PeeReview, or is but is "pre-loaded" on UnNews and hasn't appeared yet, or is but isn't very good, or is but this aside is going on way too long...etc) to keep up with Squiggle but his star shines too brightly this month.

I hear that he's already overcome with whatever you get overcome with when getting one of them things. He's down to 80lbs and running a 105 fever. Poor kid. I hope he pulls through. I visited him in Uncyc Children's hospital and he asked me to hit him a home run. I gotta, just can't let him down. --Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 20:30, 30 November 2006 (UTC)

Yep, Squiggle is deserving. (He's 13, huh? When I was 13, I was thrilled to have EGA graphics. Anyway . . .) But I'll nominate you again first thing I can.--Procopius 20:32, 30 November 2006 (UTC)
EGA, I remember that. Oh Mechwarrior, we hardly knew ye. I still see Simcity when I close my eyes (Oh, no! Godzilla is attacking my city!). I troubleshot my parents computer awhile ago (the fault was: "Your father got a new game, and it doesn't all fit on the screen"), and it still had an Oak 256k vga card...ah, good times--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 20:56, 30 November 2006 (UTC)


I think you're still missing the EGADM award and the foolitzer...but other than that I'd say you got just about everything...:) OH! and congrats! -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il.png GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI2 AnotM VFH +S 11:16, 2 November 2006 (UTC)

Well, if you want to nominate me . . . :) Thanks a lot for the vote, too. 'Twas flattering.--Procopius 12:46, 2 November 2006 (UTC)

Em, Trojan War[edit]

I changed the Trojan War article a lot since you last read it... could you tell me if you think it is better, or what? I tried to make it less random, but I don't know what other people think now that I changed it around a lot. For one thing, I got rid of Gandhi.

Thanks! --The Llama Llover!!!

Sexual harassment[edit]

Nice one! But I rather take you to dinner, baby :) -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il.png GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI2 AnotM VFH +S 11:01, 11 November 2006 (UTC)

Thanks! Um . . . do we have a sexual harassment policy on Uncyclopedia?--Procopius 18:51, 11 November 2006 (UTC)
If not, we should. There's an idea for yet another ignorable policy. Buy the way, you smell amazing today. -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il.png GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI2 AnotM VFH +S 19:52, 11 November 2006 (UTC)

Blatantly soliciting feedback.[edit]

Since I know you've expressed interest in my Presidential Election articles in the past, I'd like to know what you thought of the new one. You see, I'm a very impatient person, and the folks at Pee Review just aren't responding fast enough for my tastes. And yes, I know I'm an asshole, but I'm also a Republican, and they require you to be an asshole to get in the club. --Kwakerjak 03:58, 22 November 2006 (UTC)

Hee hee, bitch-slapping Harold Stassen -- I enjoyed it quite a bit. I might put more in about the thurmond and Wallace campaigns, although that could be distracting from the narrative you've built up here. I liked it. If you do go the Thurmond route, I give you permission to use images from this article.--Procopius 13:33, 22 November 2006 (UTC)

Your request[edit]

I've made an image for you (not made, more like, photoshopped). Please check it out on RadicalX's corner. It's gneomI 12:30, 26 November 2006 (UTC)

Thanks a lot. I left a comment over there.--Procopius 14:29, 26 November 2006 (UTC)

Congrats for whatever it was that you won this month[edit]

Checks above Proc's! Congrats on the Foolitzer. You earned it. So, what's left for you, Benson of the Month? Employee of the Month?--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 20:57, 1 December 2006 (UTC)

Jew of the month! -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il.png GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI2 AnotM VFH +S 22:55, 24 December 2006 (UTC)

Hey there[edit]

I was wondering, since you've won one already, if you'd be interested in judging in the PLS this go around? Please let me know one way or the other at my talk page (as I've been known to completely forget about these things).--<<>> 00:42, 3 December 2006 (UTC)

Bucket of Piss![edit]

Damn you and all of the good that you have brought to Uncyclopedia. Damn it all! -- [sire] EMC [TALK] 02:45, 8 December 2006 (UTC)


I just read Battle of Gettysburg and I have to tell you, it is possibly the finest article I've read yet on Uncyc. --Super90 21:33, 12 December 2006 (UTC)


Santa cross money.png Premier Tom Mayfair does not share in your pagan ways.
Nor does he celebrate capitalist retail. He hopes that you
convert to Communism before it's too late. Do the right thing.
Пролетарии всех стран, соединяйтесь!
Hammer and sickle xmas.png|

Premier Tom Mayfair 22:39, 14 December 2006 (UTC)

Tvcc.jpg Bradaphraser was throwing away last year's Christmas cards, and
realised they had purposefully forgotten about you.
This user is completely thoughtless, doesn't care about Multi-culturalism,
and therefore DEMANDS you have yourself a Merry little Christmas... NOW!

Failure to comply with result in disciplinary action up to and including excommunication from the Capitalist Church

May you focus on your successes and forget your failures here at the end of the year. Never forget how we all improve one another's lives. Season's Greetings.--<<>> 17:35, 17 December 2006 (UTC)

Xmasmoosewreath.png Nothing says [[Insert religious or pagan holiday of your choice]] like getting drunk with a moose. So this year, why not savour a treasured Canadian tradition with a bottle of hooch, horns, hooves, and hypothermia? The drinks are on me. ~ Todd Crown Royal.jpg

--Sir Todd GUN WotM MI UotM NotM MDA VFH AotM Bur. AlBur. CM NS PC (talk) 15:58, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

PLS !!![edit]

Your judge packet, sir.  :)--<<>> 21:57, 17 December 2006 (UTC)


Muchos thankos for writing me in to the Uncyclopedian Christmas Tale. It's the sort of thing I'd feel too awkward to do myself, but at the same time feel sad for not appearing in.  ;-)

Newcookie.gif Todd Lyons has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

--Sir Todd GUN WotM MI UotM NotM MDA VFH AotM Bur. AlBur. CM NS PC (talk) 01:02, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

3 Thessalonians and the Church of God the Wholly Incompetent[edit]

Procopius, you might want to check out the 3 Thessalonians page. The epistle is now part of the official canon of the Church of God the Wholly Incompetent. Have a look; I hope you enjoy. The Humbled Master 20:53, 22 December 2006 (UTC)
3 Thessalonians is now featured on the front page as being written on this day, and I have just nominated it for article of the day. Enjoy! The Humbled Master 02:09, 23 December 2006 (UTC)

Merry Christmas[edit]

Socks christmas.jpg Santa Claus has given you some Socks for Christmas.
As you can see, these socks are white and red, and they are modelled by Mrs. Claus.
If you wish to complain about your Christmas present, do it here.
Merry Christmas!

From Santa Claus.

If you are another child that thinks they need a present, leave a message here (Santa never forgets, but he is getting on a bit.) Ho Ho Ho from Santa Claus 15:21, 23 December 2006 (UTC)

Quidquid Latine dictum sit altum viditur[edit]

Ad perpetuam memoriam de Sol Invictus

Composure1, writer of UnNews and humble servant of Uncyclopedia, sends personal greetings to you [insert username here], on this festival for our glorious god Sol Invictus. While many heathen have long abandoned our undefeated sun god, especially since Emperor Theodosius I banned the holiday in the year 390, I know that you are a true believer like me. So I hope you are celebrating with all the necessary debauchery and sacrifices, and I wish you the very best. Orta recens quam pura nites Sol Invictus! --Composure1 19:00, 24 December 2006 (UTC)

A Reward from the Humbled Master[edit]

For you, my Saviour...