User talk:Ptok-Bentoniczny

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Welcome![edit]

Hello, Ptok-Bentoniczny, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

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Nonsensopedia[edit]

Cześć Ptok, Zakładasz nowy wikihumor ? :p A tak serio to fajnie by było jakbyś przejął stery nonsesnopedii. Święta dwójca AVF i Sir Daminho są już nudni, a myślę że wprowadziłbyś w życie jakieś nowe fajne pomysły. Tak przy okazji to mógłbyś rozważyć wprowadzenia jakiegoś wymagania wiekowego dla adminów i ANC. Expert (pisz na mojej stronie w nonsie, albo na dole)

PS. O Jeremy dostał od Damiego bana na 2 godziny za obrażanie cię, a Marian za revertowanie.

No fajnie by było, ale zostaję tutaj na Uncyclopedii. Nonsa mnie znudziła :). Ptok-Bentoniczny 22:05, October 23, 2009 (UTC)

Ehhh...[edit]

Niestety. Obawiam się, że siedząc ze słownikiem, nie dam se rady... Z drugiej jednak strony można by zrobić na nonsie jakąś schizmę. Oczywiście mnie wszyscy lubią i poważają :)

Bardzo mi ładnie wytoczyli, że nonsa nie jest parodią wikipedii (a niech już), oraz że "nie jest to projekt siostrzany do uncy", a taka sama nazwa "jest zasługą osób nie mających już z nonsensopedią nic wspólnego".

W SdU twojego Age of Umpires:

\\\

  1. Marian88 17:57, paź 23, 2009 (UTC) Mówcie co chcecie, ja tu Uncy nie chcę.
    "Ja" to tu słowo klucz. To, że kogoś nie śmieszy dobrze napisany art, nie świadczy źle o arcie, ale o tym, że temu komuś to nie podeszło pod osobiste poczucie humoru. Absflg 18:03, paź 23, 2009 (UTC)
    To autor ma się przystosowywać do czytelnika, a nie czytelnik do autora. Amoniak 18:15, paź 23, 2009 (UTC)

\\\

Uświadomiłem se, że Amoniak powołuje się na czytelników, których zdania nie zna. To przeważyło i uświadomiłem sobie, że możliwe czytelnicy przychodzą tu tylko po to aby ponabijać się z dowcipów o twojej starej, czaku i Tibii, bo faktycznie nie wiemy co je trafione, a czym (nawet dobrze napisanym) tylko zaśmiecamy portal. Gdyby chociaż była tam jakiś system oceny poszczególnych haseł przez niezalogowanych to wiedziałoby się co o tym sądzą. Byłby to też po jakimś czasie dobry argument do niepodwarzalnej oceny haseł "ludzią się podoba". Ale ja i tak zostałbym tylko opluty, cokolwiek bym powiedział, ot co.

Może zbiorę się i zacznę znów pisać dowcipy... Zawsze zgarniałem za nie przyzwoite noty (w nonsie już od początku mnie wkurzało to, że nie mogłem dostać nawet słabej od czytelników).

Jeżeli jakimś cudem coś to pisać na mojej dyskusji w nonsie (zostawiłem ją w obserwowanych).

Pozdrawiam. AbSfLG 11:03, October 24, 2009 (UTC)

Ban[edit]

Czemu dostałem bana? Za głos z września? 79.186.147.208 11:53, October 24, 2009 (UTC) (Somar)

Powodzenia[edit]

Powodzenia na Uncy, mam nadzieję, że kiedyś do nas wrócisz :) Kracok 12:15, October 24, 2009 (UTC)

Victoria![edit]

Wal pan tutaj. Lincz murowany murowany. Absflg 18:07, October 26, 2009 (UTC)

Welcome to UnNews[edit]

It was my pleasure to help with your UnNews article. Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 18:50, October 28, 2009 (UTC)


The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator, contemplating your fate.

Welcome to UnNews, Ptok-Bentoniczny, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.

What happened to my article?

If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

UnNews Audio

If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.

UnNews UnFunnies

At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found Stripgenerator.com, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

Your signature[edit]

is so broken. You knew that, right? --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 21:49, October 28, 2009 (UTC)

Yo, I replied on my talk page. (Around here we keep talk page conversations on one page, so you can read the whole thing at once, and so you don't look at it a week later and forget what you were talking about.) --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 22:18, October 28, 2009 (UTC)

Czesc![edit]

OK, I cant do the damn accented letters, but I might as well try some Polish eh? Where do you live in Poland btw? I visited Krakow (of course) the other week... very nice... anyway, is there anyway I can help with your translations at the moment? --El Sid, the lazy oneparlez-vous franglais? 22:21, October 31, 2009 (UTC)

I live in Warsaw, our capital (runner-up to ugliest capital in Europe in one contest :P). Well at the moment you can help (if you want) by checking articles (not UnNews) for any grammar mistakes if I did any. Polisz.jpgPtokh-BenthonytchnoeHey! You can buy some sausage I illegally smuggle to Uncy! 22:29, October 31, 2009 (UTC)
Just saw the US invades Poland news article, nice :) How come I'm not allowed to check these though? There were quite a few grammar mistakes that could be improved upon and would make it more generally accessible to the English-speaker. What is the ugliest capital of Europe then? I haven't heard anything good about Warsaw sadly, next time I'm going to Wroclaw! :) --El Sid, the lazy oneparlez-vous franglais? 14:50, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

UnNews[edit]

Perhaps you could do your articles in your user space, request proofreading from the Proofreading service, then submit it to UnNews? The shorter articles are easy to tidy up, but long ones can take me a long time. Thanks again for your contributions. Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 16:05, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

Did you check this out? Cheers rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 20:24, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks![edit]

I went to Bucharest too[edit]

I can safely confirm that you may well be right. There are much nicer places elsewhere in Romania, but Bucharest had very little to redeem itself (blame Ceaucescu I guess) --El Sid, the lazy oneparlez-vous franglais? 22:30, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

Yeah a nice trip for me, not so nice for my bank account... ;) Went to many places, now reality kicks in and I must find a job... :( --El Sid, the lazy oneparlez-vous franglais? 23:54, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks[edit]

Thanks[edit]

Thanks for your vote for Writer of the Month. You must love the abuse I heap upon you. Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 16:50, November 10, 2009 (UTC)

Proofreading the Roman Catholic Church[edit]

I'm in the process of proofreading HowTo:Be a Good Catholic and I ran into something I haven't figured out.

All requirements of being good Catholic/Money

It says, "When a priest is visiting your home, you should prepare 5 number amount or hell fire will burn you!"--I'm not sure what was meant here, so don't know how to edit it. I'll post here if I find anything else I'm unsure of. Rabbi Why do I need to provide this?, humble goylem rabbi of the Temple of Narishkayt and rector of The University of Uncyclopedia, Whynersville Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  03:15, November 12, 2009 (UTC)

Oh no she didn't...[edit]

Co jest, homeboy. Nie chciałem urazić, Właśnie jasne, czy niektóre złe gramatyki miała być satyra aktor ewentualnie analfabeci, czy po prostu wymaga trochę pomocy z gramatyki, jak będę pewnie z tej odpowiedzi. Polecane artykuły zwykle wymagają doskonałej gramatyki, jak już dowiedziałem się od kilku poprzednich prób.

Mówimy, że byłbym bardziej niż szczęśliwy, dokonać pewnych korekt dla Ciebie, ponieważ jest to bardzo dobry artykuł, który dałem w razie gramatykę lepiej i mniej zdezorientowany, czy to miało być, że droga. Mam nadzieję, że moje straszne objaśniające umiejętności nie obraził się więcej, mówiąc coś, czego nie zamierzał.

--Matfen 19:23, November 18, 2009 (UTC)

lol, I had a feeling it might be useless. I used to have to study latin at high school, and sometimes (most times) when I couldn't be bothered doing the homework, I'd just use an online translator, which would get me worse marks than if I tried to translate it myself.

Again, I apologise for any offence. I'm just used to lazy IPs and some users who cannot be bothered to write in anything other than internet shorthand, rather than those who make honest mistakes. And English is a difficult language anyway, as it is retarded and random, much similar to english people like me then.--Matfen 19:58, November 18, 2009 (UTC)

How to become a proper member of Uncyclopedia 101[edit]

There is a term in Hebrew (which I believe the Americans use as well) that goes like this: Kosher but stinking. Meaning - not illegal but not really moral as well. In my view this describes what are you doing in VFH and in FP. It's not an offense but it certainly doesn't look good - all of these Polish admins all of sudden registering to the site and the only thing they're doing is voting for you on various occasions. Especially with the FP - I went over to Nonciclopedia and found the discussion you had with Pippo in which you told him exactly what formatting to use in order to nominate that. This kind of conduct will not get you any friends here. I believe you are a good writer and I believe you can be a vital member of this wiki, but I think you should stop forcing votes for awards. If you are a good enough writer and contributor you'll get all of these awards of you own accord, without importing half of the population of Warsaw. ~http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/f/f6/Jewriken.GIF 12:06, November 23, 2009 (UTC)

Oi[edit]

What did I tell you about putting your Polish flag in the wash???? Pink and red! You should be ashamed of yourself! You're a let down to your great country! ;) --El Sid, the lazy oneparlez-vous franglais? 23:28, November 24, 2009 (UTC)

Jamie Lynn Spears Preggers Thank[edit]

User:Miley Spears/Vote Jamie Lynn Spears Dame Pleb Com. <font="Times New Roman">Miley <font="Times New Roman">Spears (talk) 02:04, November 26, 2009 (UTC)

Spinoff...[edit]

Do sali wchodzi procesja, Marcimon pada na twarz przed Ptokiem i leży, po trzech godzinach wstaje, wyjmuje kadzielnice, podpala.

Pozdrowiony bądź, Ptoku!

Marcimon ponownie się kłania, okadzając Ptoka

Ja ten niegodny fan PM przychodzę przed Twe Wspaniałe Królewskie Oblicze..

Marcimon pada na twarz i okadza Ptoka, ochroniarze zabieraja mu kadzielnice bo dywan zaczął się hajcować

..z tym oto posłannictwem. Czy wyraziłbyś zgodę, Ptoku, jedyny i niezmienny, na rozpoczęcie produkcji krótkich spinoffów PM? Byłyby to krótkie odcinki, podobne do PM i w takim klimacie, ale bez udziału właściwych postaci. Brałby udział np. Brudny Mołdawianin, Sprzątaczka Smirnova itd... Zająłbym się pisaniem w wolnych chwilach, z pomoca społeczności.

Marcimon pada na twarz

Bądź pozdrowiony na Wieki, a PM niech zawsze króluje na liście najdłuższych stron!

Marcimon wstaje i ciągle kłaniając się, wychodzi, rzucając w drzwiach Pałacu:

Niecierpliwie czekam na odpowiedz!

Marcimon 17:27, November 30, 2009 (UTC)

P.S. Wiem, to jest uncy, nie nonsa, ale tam jest zbanowany, myslalem ze moze nie mozesz przeczytac czyco ;P

Hehe, jasne że możesz robić spinoffa, mam nadzieję, że pomysły na scenariusze masz rónie fajne jak zapowiada się w moim odczucuiu serial z udziałem brudnego Mołdawianina czy Sprzątaczki Smirnova. Powodzenia ;)

I nie odpowiadałem, bo na uniwerku byłem, ot co. Polisz.jpgPtokh-BenthonytchnoeHey! You can buy some sausage I illegally smuggle to Uncy! 18:56, November 30, 2009 (UTC)

Dziekuje! Marcimon 15:28, December 1, 2009 (UTC)


Hej hej!!!

Chwale sie pierwszym odcinkiem Kontynentu Kiszyniów!!! :) pl:User:Marcimon/brudnopis :)

Marcimon 19:57, December 3, 2009 (UTC)


Proofreading the UnNews: (Brudnopis)/"Gary Kirsten" article.[edit]

20. UnNews: (Brudnopis)/"Gary Kirsten" 'introduces sex as new Indian cricket team's warm-up technique.'

Well I took a shot at this & left a few notes on the bottom of the page for you. (It seems like I added a lot of a's and the's to the article?) Go ahead and see if you like the edits. If you have any simple questions for me just leave a note on my talk page, and if you think it needs to be proofed again go ahead and put the {{Proofread}} tag back on the page and we can help as many times as it takes. You may want to ask Zim about specific formatting for UnNews because he's the master and I am a noob when it comes down to UnNews. Hope that helps, Cheers  Happytimes are here!* http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/9/94/Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  09:48, December 4, 2009 (UTC)

Bmup smaller.jpg The Proofreading Service has proofreaded your article. Like it? Need more proofreading? Click here!


You are welcome. :)

Kontynent Kiszyniów[edit]

Hej :)

Zasugerowany tytuł został zaaprobowany ;) I pierwszy odcinek poszedł do (main) :) Marcimon 15:38, December 4, 2009 (UTC)

A fast and Furious thanks[edit]

Matfen815ty1.jpg

Comrad[edit]

Malema Tired.jpg Thanks to your vote Julius Malema is one step closer to becoming President of South Africa. Nice going. What a wonderful thing democracy is. Now surrender your property to the government and move along. Nothing to see here. Except the featured article on 14 Dec 2009

--BlueSpiritGuy 10:35, December 15, 2009 (UTC)

FFS Vote on <insert name here>[edit]

Why I voted for <insert name here> on UN:FFS. It's because we care a lot about <insert name here> that we want em banned. --Pleb- Sawblade5 [citation needed] ( yell | FAQ | I did this ) 14:28, December 18, 2009 (UTC)

I was told...[edit]

by a friend that the word "Polack" is to Polish people what the N-word is to black people. I just realised I had an excellent source to set us straight. True or false? So then when I see a group of Polish people, I'll know whether to say "Wassup my Polack" or not. (Even if it isn't offensive at all, I'll still get my head kicked in...) --Matfen 16:00, December 19, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks...[edit]

...for nomming my Mutter - Mein Endlosung article. Have some free bagels. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 13:30, December 21, 2009 (UTC)

Bagels.jpg Shalom!
Yum! You've received a basket of delicious fresh bagels from RabbiTechno!
Lekhaim!

מזל טוב


Air Zim thanks[edit]

I'm pretty sure that's the fastest review i ever received. If only the Bulawayo - Gaborone shuttle was so prompt.

balls, forgot to sign in. Now I need to register and come back before i sign this
That's better. --Sog1970 12:30, December 24, 2009 (UTC)

PEE Review[edit]

Hi, ChiefjusticeDS here, current keeper of the PEE review scrolls. May I first welcome you to PEE review, we always appreciate people taking the time to help out with reviews. However it has come to my attention that your reviews are repeatedly failing to meet the standard that we expect in PEE review and I would like you to read this before you complete another one. While you have reviewed a lot of article your comments are often only one line long and do very little to help the author improve their work, criticism is always better when you have evidence or facts to back it up with; if you think an article is bad say so and explain why and how it could be improved. Remember that people work hard on their articles and expect an equal level of commitment from reviewers.

If after reading the guidelines you are still unsure of what we ask of you then you can take a look at this review. Thanks for taking a look at this, please be aware that further reviews of similar length from you will be restored back to the queue without further warning. I hope you can contribute further to PEE review in future. --ChiefjusticeDS 20:15, December 24, 2009 (UTC)

As Chiefster's assistant lackey, Ditto. Rabbi Why do I need to provide this?, humble goylem rabbi of the Temple of Narishkayt and rector of The University of Uncyclopedia, Whynersville Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  17:41, December 25, 2009 (UTC)
There are Guidelines??? I wish I knew that before. --Matfen 23:32, December 27, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for the review[edit]

I appreciated it and feel slightly blown away at the high praise. I agree with Chief that you may need to work on having a bit more substance to the reviews, but by that token practise makes perfect. Keep up the good work! PuppyOnTheRadio sig.gif                                                 

You're welcome[edit]

- for the Pee Review. Sir Roger 05:42, December 30, 2009 (UTC)

Oh, and would you be so nice to explain me what the hell Head them off at the pass is about and what's this all about. I don't get it ;p Polisz.jpgPtokh-BenthonytchnoeHey! You can buy some sausage I illegally smuggle to Uncy! 13:18, December 28, 2009 (UTC)
Neither do I. Sir Roger 05:40, December 30, 2009 (UTC)

Barack Obama[edit]

I've fixed typoes in your Walesa quote at the start of this article. Have also deleted the description as I believe Walesa is well-known throughout the world. Google doesn't say where he said this. Did he say it in Polish? If so, the translation of "Just let's" is wrong; you'd say, "Let's just". Spıke ¬  15:42 30-Dec-09

I kept the fixed typoes but readded the description of who Lech Wałęsa is--I would bet that well over 50% of Americans would not know who he is. Rabbi Why do I need to provide this?, humble goylem rabbi of the Temple of Narishkayt and rector of The University of Uncyclopedia, Whynersville Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  19:08, January 1, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks[edit]

DRtok.png
Ve haff rekorded your viße decision to pürchase der Mutter - Mein Endlosung collectible doll und are überjoyed to be able to inform you dat as a reßült you haff earned der gratitude of der Party.

A bouncy thanks![edit]

Unbookwilson.jpg Chuck would like to thank you!

Symbol for vote.svg For. finding his Story so firm, so round and so... attractive.

Sir ACROLO KUNFPWAOTMFA •(SPAM) 18:00, January 3, 2010 (UTC)

Dead Hookers Just Seemed Appropriate[edit]

Messyhouse7.jpg Thank You For Finally Taking Out The Trash
Unfortunately, the situation in the kitchen has not changed. I made it a point to not create a single dirty dish in this sink for the very purpose of demonstrating to you that the mess in the kitchen is not somehow our problem but is, in fact, your problem. Technically, that makes it my problem as well but said problem is one of inconvenience as opposed to the complete negligence inherent in your failure to clean up after yourself. It's also come to my attention that you and your friends have been urinating in the kitchen sink, despite the fact that it's full of dirty dishes. while your reluctance to touch the dishes is understandable it does not form a basis for me to empathize with you. While I shouldn't be bargaining with you again, I'll agree to clear a path to the bathroom sink so that everyone will have a place to urinate. All you need to do is simply dispose of the dirty dishes. We'll buy more at the flea market.

Thanks for the vote!--DRStrangesig5.png Sherman.png Fingertalk.png  12:59, January 6, 2010 (UTC)

Best used in the Bedroom[edit]


 –  User talk:Zana Dark User:Zana Dark http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/a/ab/Sheenicon.gif (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN 06:10, 8 January 2010

Re: Sicily[edit]

More like a retarded child... I'm kidding of course. Well don't let it bother you, I tend to be a bit harsh when it comes to grammar, and humour is the most important thing anyway.

Your name fascinates me by the way, I've seen it around a few times and just thought what the hell? What does it mean? --Hugs and kisses, Black_Flamingo 21:59, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

Name[edit]

All of that in two words? That is fucked up. --Hugs and kisses, Black_Flamingo 17:26, January 9, 2010 (UTC)

Pee Review[edit]

Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Michael Holding Ta da! --Matfen 18:19, January 10, 2010 (UTC)

Pee?[edit]

Would you like me to look at Mugabe's cricket almanac? It may take me a while and I'm not very good at these things, but it's been waiting on PEE review for a shamefully long time. --Sog1970 22:36, January 11, 2010 (UTC)

Is This A Talk Page Or Poland In 1939!?[edit]

Mussolini&Hitler1.gif
HITLER AND MUSSOLINI INVADED COUNTRIES

THANK YOU TEMPLATES INVADE TALK PAGES

TEMPLATES ARE LIKE HITLER AND MUSSOLINI

A vote "For" an article on VFH is a vote "For" Hitler and Mussolini!!
Swastika rotating.gif


Your Symbol for vote.svg For. votes have been appreciated by the Fuhrer! --DRStrangesig5.png Sherman.png Fingertalk.png  13:50, January 12, 2010 (UTC)

A Slightly Less Offensive Template![edit]

InterrogationThanks.png


They're everywhere!--DRStrangesig5.png Sherman.png Fingertalk.png  15:23, January 12, 2010 (UTC)

Thiz-ankz[edit]

for the review. It was actually a better one than I expected to receive. But what did you mean by that very last comment? I LOVE YOU JENNY!!Jenny? 23:02,26January,2010


Bahasa Indonesia[edit]

I tidied things up a bit. Hope that'sokay. I'd review it, but I'm shit at that. Feel free to revert anything I did wrong. It's your article. --Sog1970 16:22, January 30, 2010 (UTC)

Just in case you ever read my article The Life and Times of General DeGaulle - the throwaway lines about 1939 are a bit rough on Poland and I'm well aware of it. But I couldn't resist. So, on behalf of the entire British population, I apologise to you (as the representative of the Polish people) for the spineless decisions made about Free Polish airmen and soldiers in 1945/46. Not that I had anything to do with them, you understand. --Sog1970 17:40, January 31, 2010 (UTC)
I'm here to apologize. I signed up to Pee Review Bahasa Indonesia. I started working on it, then saw someone had a question about IC or something, and someone else needed help with something, etc. So I thought no problem; I still have many hours to do it. Then I logged on again later, and ran into the same sort of thing. Then I logged on again later, and ditto. Now, I'm going to be gone for a while, and really have to reserve what little time I have Sunday to get the new IC project going. So I put a note saying someone else can do the review if they want. If no one else does by Monday, 8 February, barring unforseen disaster I should have no problem doing the review as I've ended up with that day off. Again, I'm sorry for the delay--reviews are supposed to be done within 24 hours, and I won't get it done by then. Rabbi Why do I need to provide this?, humble goylem rabbi of the Temple of Narishkayt and rector of The University of Uncyclopedia, Whynersville Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  19:32, February 6, 2010 (UTC)

Own goal revisited[edit]

Hi Ptok,

Mind telling me the scheme of the article again? I'm going to work on the article again, now that the translation of Galileo Galilei is done. Please put the scheme here. | Write on! Lars - Nederland en Vlaanderen - De Staten-Generaal | 21:07, January 30, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for your vote, Ptok-Bentoniczny[edit]

Rabbi Why do I need to provide this?, humble goylem rabbi of the Temple of Narishkayt and rector of The University of Uncyclopedia, Whynersville Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  23:09, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

Additionally[edit]

I'm actually in the middle of an article right now, and if I go write something else I'm afraid that article may never get finished. You know how once the spark is gone, it's gone. So, whenever I finish that article I'll hop on board. Also found this, which might interest you. Apparently Vinko Bogataj, the "Agony of Defeat" Man, is the most famous ski jumper in the US. User:Hiatus Hernia/sig2 15:44, Feb 5, 2010

Polish help needed![edit]

Can you look at this? I use a crudely translated expression in the section - "P`tcha", and I'm pretty sure Google translate did something wrong. If you can spare the moment? Thanks. ~http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/f/f6/Jewriken.GIF 10:56, February 8, 2010 (UTC)

Pee Reviewed Bahasa Indonesia[edit]

I Pee Reviewed Why?:It's worth learning Bahasa Indonesia based on version 4372235 of 15:35, February 3, 2010. I hope this helps! Rabbi Why do I need to provide this?, humble goylem rabbi of the Temple of Narishkayt and rector of The University of Uncyclopedia, Whynersville Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  23:22, February 8, 2010 (UTC)

RotM and sig[edit]

  1. Your sig is too long
  2. Your voting and meat puppets/sock puppets suck. IPs rarely vote on RotM, and generating false votes is stupid.
  3. You're knocking yourself completely out of the running for UotM any time in the future, as people who get these awards do so by adding value to to Uncyclopedia, not by vote loading. I have earnt awards by giving as much as I can to improve the site. If you want an award, then work on becoming a better writer/reviewer/photoshopper/community member. Have a look at what Why? and Chief do an follow their lead. Don't try and cheat the community - we're not stupid and you're not going to benefit by treating anyone that way. I've seen one or two good users destroy their own enjoyment of this site by doing exactly what you are currently doing, and unless you intend to leave here and never come back, treat fellow community members like intelligent and sensible human beings. <span class="GenOberst"> PoopyOnTheRadio </span> 06:31, 10/02/2010
Yeah, please don't end up like that NXwave guy or something. I never knew him but I learned that he was a good user gone horribly bad and caused one user to leave permeantly. What I'm saying is don't turn into a jackass, and be honest and read the Rules, especially the Don't be a Dick rule. I hate to see you go--Grue ApocalypseDirectorEye 4.gifWILLExplode 3.GIFYOU 333Talk IF YOU DARE 05:14, February 11, 2010 (UTC)
All right, speech season is over, give the guy a rest. ~http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/f/f6/Jewriken.GIF 08:50, February 11, 2010 (UTC)

Error[edit]

X Microsoft Knowledge Base Error
    Octagon-warning.png  
Democratic processing error

It appears that there has been a drastic mistake with the talling of votes with the Uncyclopedia 2009 Top 10. Please check the number of votes given to Microsoft Knowledge Base as it can't possibly have gotten as high as it has.

If the tally still appears to be correct, please restart the internet.

 Thanks 

<span class="GenOberst"> PoopyOnTheRadio </span> 09:10, 15/02/2010

Thanks for voting for me for the front page. How can I show my appreciation? Well, I've heard that Polish men last much longer than the foolish Brits or Americans. Come on down here and show me that what I've heard is true!

Hi. I've read most of your ski jumping article and really liked it. Much work and a complete article. And I like your use of language, some of the phrasing in the first 1/3rd of the page is just perfect, a use of English language which actually describes the essence of something better than 'more perfect' English would do. A very impressive page. ~ User:Aleister in Chains User talk:Aleister in Chains 23:06 19 Feb. MMX

Thanks. I wouldn't want to mess with the language, but thank you, for the compliment, and over the weekend I'll take a look. When I read it I thought you would put it up before the winter Olympics are done. Again, a very good page. Skiing towards the sun, Al a few minutes later
Just dropping by to tell you that I have not forgotten! But I'm so sorry for my laziness, it's just that my university's started, and I barely have time except to come on and check my watchlist. Agh... again I'm so sorry. In fact, I'll get on to it right after I post this message. Aleister, can you also please clarify how would you like the English to be? User:Hiatus Hernia/sig2 15:05, Feb 20, 2010
I also have a suggestion: Instead of "ski jumping teams", why not have "notable ski jumpers"? It makes it more personal, and the names that you drop all over the place can now be clarified and fleshed out. Feeling that the current section is a bit choppy and sort of weak. But that's just my personal tastes. Tell me what you think? User:Hiatus Hernia/sig2 15:54, Feb 20, 2010
To prove that I am actually doing work, I point you to this page. I decided that I'm not going to rape your article in your own userspace, so I invited it over to my place instead. The changes are very drastic, anyway, and when I'm done with it, we can discuss what you liked and what you didn't like, and then see where we go from there. User:Hiatus Hernia/sig2 17:51, Feb 20, 2010
Hi Ptok and HH. I would like to rape Ptok's page, but that would violate my probation. Just to compare the opening paragraph, I like the quaint language Ptok used. The brave. Doesn't that just sum up the spirit of the jumper in two words. That type of thing. It would be hard to fit the two together, that is your job Ptok. If you would like some more ideas maybe you can put a copy in my userspace as well and I will do some work, and then you would have more copies to play with. I guess I like the language differences, and to make it a regular-English article takes away, in my reading, some of the spirit. It does need some cutting though, as even the last youtube vid may be one too many. Too many words here. Enjoy ~ User:Aleister in Chains User talk:Aleister in Chains 22:25 22 2 2MMX

Ok, thank you, I will play with it at some point within the next couple of days then you can have it back to compare. No, I didn't know about the Pole winning two medals, very good. I haven't followed these Olympics very much, and have been getting my news about them second-hand. Do you ski, you seem to know quite a bit about the sport. ~ User:Aleister in Chains User talk:Aleister in Chains 1:34 23 2 2MX

I get what you mean about the language, but I think if it's "quaint", it has to be quaint all the way, in the same way, and it has to be part of the concept somehow... Like, the narrator of the article is perhaps a Polish guy, and at the start of the article you have to establish it like: "Hi I am a Polish guy (name) and I will be telling you about ski jumping... (in a less direct way of course)" God I really don't know... But I'm thinking of featured articles and there's not that many articles with wrong language that is not "part of its concept"... Compare, for instance, that Roak Band - Teutonic Invasion (ignore the accent) that Pripyat River. The roak band article uses a more formal, restricted type of English that's correct, but you can see that its choice of vocabulary is a bit different from a native speaker's. I think that might be what we should be aiming for. We could also go over-the-top like pripyat river (that would mean a drastic rewrite). Thoughts? User:Hiatus Hernia/sig2 09:03, Feb 23, 2010
Hi. I didn't want to attempt an entire rewrite, this is for Ptok to do, so I've only suggested a few edits on the page you, Ptok, put on my space. Your version, Hiatus, is very good as an article, and Ptok's contains a great deal of real data about the sport which I never knew. So I like, on some level, everything everybody has done. Not a cop out, just a quick assessment of the data contained in the pages. Ptok's lead sets the tone, and you are right that it should be, if the language is kept, introduced from a Polish point of view, maybe like "Your Polish correspondent me now brings to you the men who try to die for their country very quickly." I guess it would be fun to try to write an entire article like that. Besides that, Ptok, maybe remove the list (it seems the pros around here never or very seldom use lists), and maybe keep it long just to give information to people, like me, who are pretty ignorant of the sport. Like Hiatus, I don't know. I know your article will make me enjoy the sport more when I see it, and I wouldn't have explored it so deeply without your page. Thank you for this knowledge. Aleister in Chains 00:41 25 2 2MX
Yeah, agreed. "Your Polish correspondent..." was quite funny, it would be a shame if we didn't get to use that. In the parts that I've rewritten, I've kept (or thought I kept) most of Ptok's data and jokes, but I've also added my own and reworded the English. I don't know about continuing with the current English, because I really love articles with an accent, so as Al said it's all up to you Ptok. User:Hiatus Hernia/sig2 10:38, Feb 25, 2010
Have either of you met user Drunkenshark as yet? She's a French-Canadian with broken Enlgish ("my grammar will be like pointy chopsticks to your eyes"--on her user page) who has written Bones (TV series), some UnNews, etc. Her stuff is soooo cute, at least to me, because I like the gems which emerge from "broken" English too. She tries to put too many sexual jokes at the start of Bones, imnho, but once past that some of the gems rest. It would be interesting to take a VFD page and non-English it up to save it. Hmmmmm. ~ User:Aleister in Chains User talk:Aleister in Chains 11:18 that same day
I'm puzzled now and I really don't know what would be a better way... So... Do you both agree that this article should be vritten in aktsent of English Broken? :p Because I would rather prefer normal or quaint English rather than accent but thats my point of view. If you both think that broken English is better, then it seems that I have no other way... Polisz.jpgPtokh-BenthonytchnoeHey! You can buy some sausage I illegally smuggle to Uncy! 11:24, February 25, 2010 (UTC)

No, no, I just like it. It's your choice of course. And if you would want that tweaked I think Hiatus has done a very good job. I think we are just saying how nice it is sometimes. Al, a few minuteslater

This choice is as mine as yours :). If you work at this article you are obviously allowed to have your opinions and to make a use of them :P. But if your decision is allowing me to decide... then I have no other way than sticking to what Hiatus is doing at the article. OTherwise his job would be lost. Fuck tenses and grammar... Polisz.jpgPtokh-BenthonytchnoeHey! You can buy some sausage I illegally smuggle to Uncy! 11:55, February 25, 2010 (UTC)
That was very whitty. Oh, and try <!-- surrounding stuff with these --> if you don't want them to be seen. PuppyOnTheRadio sig.gif                                                  20:37, 25/02/2010

Hey You![edit]

I nominated you for GOTM as a joke for your week long ban over the IP votes for ROTM in February :D --Sir Skinfan13 Talk {< CUN RotM FBotM VFH ΥΣΣ Maj. SK >} 16:01 EST 4 Mar, 2010

You crazy kook.[edit]

But seriously, thanks for the thought, serious or not. The Man In Black. 06:08, March 13, 2010 (UTC)

Your language of English has improved doubleplustenfold[edit]

A congratulation of great type is to you. FreddIs Great In Bedd http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/thumb/7/70/Flag_of_Egypt.png/22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/thumb/5/5b/Foxicon.png/18px-Foxicon.png 15:12 • Wednesday,

Oh yeah, you're a damn quick learner, too. How old are you?
A few months ago, you couldn't even put a sentence together, but now... You really improved. Congratulations. FreddIs Great In Bedd http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/thumb/7/70/Flag_of_Egypt.png/22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/thumb/5/5b/Foxicon.png/18px-Foxicon.png 07:24 • Friday, 19-03-2010

Dude[edit]

This is just ridiculous. Chief reported you for a good reason, and you kind of need to get over it. It's really kind of rude to vote against because you have a (completely unreasonable) grudge. VFS has nothing to do with that. You could have just not voted for or against, and just not commented. And just for the record, I was about to report you that day myself. I know I should calm down, but this pissed me off.Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN.png Icons-flag-us.png NOTM 21:49, March 18, 2010 (UTC)

Let's all just leave it and move on, Ptok has a right to vote how he wants for whatever reason, he is part of the community and may vote for or against as he chooses to. There are far more important and noteworthy things for us to have drama about, like my insistence on wearing an admiral's hat and tailcoat while editing Uncyclopedia. --ChiefjusticeDS 21:56, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
I can't be cranky after being locked out of my house with a headache for an hour???:)Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN.png Icons-flag-us.png NOTM 22:22, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
Absolutely not! Now, start making yourself useful. --ChiefjusticeDS 22:26, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
I shall take out my anger on vandals instead, mercilessly reverting them until they die a slow, painful death from their own faggotry. I'm evil.Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN.png Icons-flag-us.png NOTM 22:28, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
I support Rabbi and Socky and I want them in final round and therefore I voted against Chiefjustice to lower risk of getting one of my favorites out of the competition. Simple enough? And yes, his informing against me had a big influence on my decision. I will give you a famous quote from one Polish film (it was a sentence in broken English :P) "Life is brutal and full of zasadzkas and sometimes kopas w dupas." Polisz.jpgPtokh-BenthonytchnoeHey! You can buy some sausage I illegally smuggle to Uncy! 16:49, March 20, 2010 (UTC)
I'm going to pretend I'm cultured and understood that.Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN.png Icons-flag-us.png NOTM 16:50, March 20, 2010 (UTC)
Is something wrong with my English or do you have some problem with reading and understanding at the same time? I support my favorites. I would vote agianst chief anyway Polisz.jpgPtokh-BenthonytchnoeHey! You can buy some sausage I illegally smuggle to Uncy! 16:56, March 20, 2010 (UTC)
No, it was that quote. And also a joke. T__TSir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN.png Icons-flag-us.png NOTM 16:58, March 20, 2010 (UTC)
Ah, there are links under incomprehensible words that are actually translations. :P Polisz.jpgPtokh-BenthonytchnoeHey! You can buy some sausage I illegally smuggle to Uncy! 17:02, March 20, 2010 (UTC) ("Life is brutal and full of traps, and it sometimes gives a kick in the ass. - I think that would be a good translation of that", but making Ponglish is more amusing for Poles.) Polisz.jpgPtokh-BenthonytchnoeHey! You can buy some sausage I illegally smuggle to Uncy! 17:02, March 20, 2010 (UTC)

Vote for[edit]

Thanks for the vote for In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, an accidental collab that worked out well. I'm writing because I'm wondering if the song is known in Poland or surrounding nations? If so, is it the original or translated? Interested, and thanks. Al en'chain 14:33 30 3 mmx

Thanks. The song was popular for a time in the late 1960s, and has received a second life in the past few years in America, on tv shows and such. The Polish Solidarity movement really made America's "hippies" pale in comparison, at least in the last couple of decades when students could have been doing so much and did so little. Al 21:17 20 3 mmx

And an official thanks again, it made feature with your help. Three of us got credit for the page (PF4Eve and Funnybony), so I won't do a funny thanks, just yay, appreciated. Al en'chains 18:10 25 3 mmx

VFS[edit]

SAFPAS.png For your vote in VFS

and as promised last time
You have been awarded a Certificate guaranteeing you safe passage whilst inside those areas of Uncyclopedia under Zionist domination.
Certificate also redeemable for one (1) free bagel at your nearest grocery - simply print out and present
to the shopkeeper to claim your free bagel with the filling of your choice.

Rabbi Techno

Oh, and while I'm here...

A Polish immigrant in the UK has noticed his eyes aren't as good as they used be so he goes to see an optician for a sight test. The optician sits him down and points to a chart on the wall. "Now, can you read the top line?" he asks.

The Polish immigrant looks at the chart and reads CZNXZRKXCY. "Hey!" he says, "I can do better than read it - I know where he lives!"

lol FreddIs Great In Bedd http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/thumb/7/70/Flag_of_Egypt.png/22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/thumb/5/5b/Foxicon.png/18px-Foxicon.png 10:59 • Friday, 2-04-2010
Hah :P. Would be better if it meant anything in Polish but still funny ;) Polisz.jpgPtokh-BenthonytchnoeHey! You can buy some sausage I illegally smuggle to Uncy! 19:21, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
And we don't have "x" in alphabet ;) Polisz.jpgPtokh-BenthonytchnoeHey! You can buy some sausage I illegally smuggle to Uncy! 19:33, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

My Sincere Condolences[edit]

For the tragic loss of your President (and the other senior government officals) in that terrible aircraft crash. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA Lord of Egypt AMUSE ME 16:58, April 10, 2010 (UTC)

Hi Ptok[edit]

Thanks for your vote at writer. Appreciated. Yet I win either way, because I sincerely nominated Nach because he deserves the award, and if I happen to "win" this month after indulging in a weekend of drunkeness and orgastic celebration I will come back and vote for Nach again. I think he, Fredd, Matfen, Skin and others "deserve it" at some point. But, of course, thanks again. ---- And hey, haven't dropped in for awhile. I enjoyed your analysis of the Polish government situation (posted somewhere), and didn't realize that the President's brother was/is the power behind the throne. Is he going to run for one of the vacant offices? Goose to go, Al des chain 1:01 22 4 MMX


Your VFH page[edit]

Interesting concept, and I'm surprised none of the volcano-related items have been voted in as yet. Would you like me to work on the Englishization of the page, grammar wise? I won't add content or funny, just make some additions to the english so it flows better off a correct-Englishman's (and related countries) tongue. Al sans chains 20:59 23 4

You're back![edit]

Ptok, you're back! How goes things? Did I ever work on that page referenced above, I really don't recall. So many pages, makes me dizzy and glassy eyed with crack. Good to see your name again! Al sans chains 2:00 21 5 MMX

Congrats and sorry[edit]

I saw your note here. Congratulations on becoming an admin on the Polish Uncyclopedia! As for the writing, probably the two most difficult things to write in a non-native language other than poetry are humour and an encyclopedic article.

Sergio Argones talked to me once at a convention--he's the one who draws wordless cartoons in the margins of MAD Magazine, and has been doing it for decades. He also created Groo the Wanderer and is working on a Bart Simpson comic book with Matt Groening who created The Simpsons, Futurama and co-created King of the Hill. I asked Sergio why he did wordless cartoons for MAD. He said something to the affect that when he came to America, he was concerned that he couldn't write English-language humour effectively because to write humour your language had to be perfect. So he drew wordless cartoons because they could work in any language.

I just recently did a Pee Review for one of the most featured writers on Uncyclopedia. I suggested he make changes because some of his humour would work for some English-speaking countries and not others. He is a native English speaker and writer, and I still thought his work should be edited for language.

If you want to write English-language humour, I would suggest getting your work edited by a native English speaker who is a talented writer and who will not hestitate to make major edits to another person's work. (Sorry, but I can't volunteer to that myself as my time here is limited and already taken with other projects). Hopefully, that will work well for you.

Again, congrats on getting named an admin and I hope this helps! Rabbi Why do I need to provide this?, humble goylem rabbi of the Temple of Narishkayt and rector of The University of Uncyclopedia, Whynersville Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  16:59, May 25, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, life is hard. But it's hard to write wordless article ;). And actually nearly nobody wants to edit my work :P. Under user stopped correcting Mark Robinson in the middle of work. I'm not pushing him but I think he is no longer interested in correcting it, despite the fact he was doing a brilliant job with that one. And thanks for congrats. Cheers! Polisz.jpgPtokh-BenthonytchnoeHey! You can buy some sausage I illegally smuggle to Uncy! 12:18, May 26, 2010 (UTC)
Dude, I have 8 features and I'm running for WOTM and winning by 19 votes, and my English is shit... So no, your language need not be perfect; just good enough. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA Lord of Egypt AMUSE ME 12:35, May 26, 2010 (UTC)
First off, I don't think your English is shit or you wouldn't be able to write as well as you do. Second, if you want to go argue with Sergio go find him and argue (I know his work but really don't know him; I just got to talk to him at a convention). Third, I'm talking about the differences in the way sentences are constructed in one language as opposed to another. A native English speaker who's illiterate will likely have a better handle on that than a highly educated person who's learning English as a second language. Some examples (and these have nothing to do with Ptok-Bentoniczny personally, they're just examples): a native English speaker won't say or write "I am go to store" instead of "I'm going to the store" or "The little lamb had Mary" instead of "Mary had a little lamb." Rabbi Why do I need to provide this?, humble goylem rabbi of the Temple of Narishkayt and rector of The University of Uncyclopedia, Whynersville Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn)  19:50, May 26, 2010 (UTC)
Hehe Why :D I think you've exaggerated the examples of non-natives incompetence in English too much :D :D. Polisz.jpgPtokh-BenthonytchnoeHey! You can buy some sausage I illegally smuggle to Uncy! 21:00, May 26, 2010 (UTC)