vBulletin

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VBulletin.jpg

vBulletin is Microsoft Windows and Linux compatible CPU and memory benchmarking software. Under heavy loads (12.5 users online), it typically tests the hardware to destruction. In a remotely hosted environment, it may drive the system administrator to alcoholism, insanity and suicide.

Software Users[edit]

Users[edit]

The software is designed for anyone with money, from young to old, as long as you have money they will not discriminate against you.

Administrators[edit]

The software is specially designed for people who insist on paying more for a bloated feature set to do a relatively simple task. It will not run well on any less than a Wikipedia-grade server farm.

Pricing[edit]

vBulletin is not free software, except for on BitTorrent, where it is of course free.

Easter Eggs[edit]

  • E-mail bombing software, the owner of the software receives one e-mail per database error, resulting in hundreds of unwanted e-mails per day.
  • Discussion board software, how the programmers snuck this easter egg in we'll never know!
  • It's purple - it might match your walls or something, or at least your Prince record from 1984.
  • Horribly written code, so you can learn how NOT to script!
  • A former version had search engine spidering features which search engine spiders wouldn't use! Surely the greatest innovation ever!
  • The software includes BillMe 4.7, a powerful software module capable of billing you up to $760 a year to maintain your vBulletin installation. As they say, "the more money you have the more money we'll take!"

The market leading Chav repellant[edit]

Simply print out a vBulletin page and stick it on the wall where the unwanted persons meet. Remember, even Filthy Chavsters have standards, so they'll move off elsewhere. Problem solved!

See also[edit]