A vag wagon (from the german, küntswagen literally "cunt's car") is any station wagon or car like truck manufactured by Subaru, and driven by a dirty lesbian. Vag wagons are a status symbol in the lesbian community, along with cankles, mullets and big ugly hairy dogs. It should also be noted that actual lesbians drive vag wagons, not the non-extant sexy lesbians heterosexual men fantasize about. In actuality lesbians are all fat, ugly, dirty, disheveled and terrible cooks.
History of the Vag Wagon
The vag wagon was first developed by german automotive engineer and noted lesbian Helga von Sphincterstein while she was employed at Volkswagen. After the phenomenal success of the beetle, Volkswagen director Ferdinand Porsche was directed by Hitler to design “a car so ugly, only a lesbian could love it”. Porsche in turn assigned the task to von Sphincterstein, as he knew her to be a dirty lesbian who loved eating her some yeasty snatch. It is unknown exactly why Hitler decided to build such a car, historian Joachim Fest stated on multiple occasions he believed the vag wagon was developed as some sort of cruel practical joke akin to the holocaust. Hitler eventually gave the plans for the vag wagon to Emperor Hirohito, who in turn gave them to Jappy McSubaru, the honorable grandfather of the current Subaru Chairman. Jappy McSubaru then hid the plans for the vag wagon in his wife's sideways jap cunt for the remainder of the war, realizing they would be instrumental in the reconstruction of Japan's economy. After the war McSubaru began manufacturing vag wagons and exporting them to lesbians around the world, a trend that continues to this day.
Vag Wagon Official Specifications
Although the term vag wagon usually refers solely to automobiles manufactured by Subaru, it may under certain circumstances describe automobiles built by other manufacturers. The Internation Union of Pure and Applied Lesbianism defines a vag wagon as having at least three of the following features:
- The back must be either a station wagon or truck bed.
- It can be no taller than what you would normally consider a “car”.
- It must have either a DMB or No W sticker.
- Vag Rock must be blasting loudly from the car whenever it is running.
- There should always be a large hairy dog in the car with the lesbian.
Non Lesbians and Vag Wagons
If a woman is the owner of a vag wagon one may safely assume she is a lesbian, if she denies it she's confused, a lying cunt or both. In this situation it is advisable to look for the telltale cankles or sun damaged skin endemic of lesbianism. Although exceedingly rare, it is possible that the owner of a vag wagon may be male. In this case one may safely assume that the male vag wagon owner loves the cock.