Various Fatal Syndromes

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There are a lot of diseases, fatal syndromes and viruses in the world although many people may not understand how serious they can be. Fatal syndromes are usually quite serious and sometimes can even cause death. Dr.Ben Morrison, the leading doctor in the study of various fatal syndromes has acquired a lot of research in his many past years and has a lot of information on the case. Let us begin the learning process.

List of Various Fatal Syndromes[edit]

Text Syndrome[edit]

Also known as WTFOMGSTFUn00b Syndrome is a rare case in which the patient can't stop using abbreviations to save his/her life. They will use abbreviations during Texting, Instant messaging, Writing, and talking in general. 1-4 Children in these modern times are born with the disease and 1-20 die from it, usually from being impaled on an iron bar at school by people who don't tolerate that kind of shit. The syndrome isn't always one in which you have to be born with to have, there are various ways in which you can get the syndrome. The core result of being diagnosed with Text Syndrome is excessive exposure to Runescape. 6/5 People who play Runescape have the syndrome and 6/5 of those people have been scientifically proven to be as intelligent as your household tea-towel.

Early symptoms of the Syndrome include, breathing heavily, having a vocabulary of roughly 10-20 understandable words, talking about how high their skills are on runescape, and failing at life. Most people with the syndrome are also addicted to marijuana.

Whoopi Goldberg Syndrome[edit]

A young male with a serious case of Whoopi Goldberg Syndrome

Whoopi Goldberg Syndrome is often mistaken by Christians as being possessed by Satan syndrome. If someone has Whoopi Goldberg Syndrome, you will indeed know about it. Symptoms of Whoopi Goldberg syndrome are some of the most obvious out of all diseases. The first thing you will notice is that the patient will have grown 1 foot long dreadlocks from the top of their head. You will also notice that every time they watch TV, regardless to what show they are watching, every several minutes or so they will call out "Oh noooo she didn't" although the second "D" you will notice, will be silent.

Their diet will immediately change into a hunger for chicken wings, watermelon, waffles and purple drink and they will have an obsessive compulsive disorder in which they will always bob their head back and forth and click their fingers every so often. Whoopi Goldberg disease is no laughing matter and must be dealt with immediately, consult your local Doctor and have it diagnosed and medicated as soon as possible. The most common medical treatment for the disease is Euthanasia.

Sloth Syndrome[edit]

Symptoms will include, mould growing on the back, hanging upside down in trees, moving 13 feet per hour, having shaggy fur all over the body, having notoriously slow digestive systems, having a diet of strictly leaves, being afraid of Harpy Eagles and Jaguars, sleeping 15-18 hours per day, and living in rainforests of South America and Central America. 8/9 patients diagnosed with sloth syndrome are in fact sloths. Patients with sloth syndrome can quickly catch endangered species virus and die immediately.

SHOOP DA WOOP Syndrome[edit]

SHOOP DA WOOP Syndrome patients experience an array of symptoms such as, headaches, back aches, anal pains, broken rib cages, temporary blindness, and a huge giant explosive lazar of sheer flaming death uproar out of their throat like lava from the pits of hell, every 5-10 minutes.

Chuck Norris Syndrome[edit]

Patients with chuck Norris syndrome will have lazar eyes, be able to walk on water, cut diamonds, speak brail, count to infinity and watch 60 minutes in half an hour. The only known patient to have ever have had Chuck Norris syndrome is Chuck Norris who killed the Doctor that diagnosed him and then defeated the sun in a starring contest.

When a patient with chuck Norris syndrome shaves, he kicks himself in the face because the only known substance strong enough on earth to cut through Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris, this can be fatal to patients with Chuck Norris syndrome because the patient may make a mistake and kick himself in the back of the head causing his skull to implode into his brain. This theory was shut down in 1998 when it was realized that Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.

The typical actions of a patient with Elton John Syndrome

Note: Side effects to having Chuck Norris Syndrome may include, kicking ass

Elton John Syndrome[edit]

Elton John Syndrome is the vilest of all human diseases in existence. Side effects may include being extremely homosexual.

David Hasselhoff Syndrome[edit]

Also known as DisgustingSloppyDrunk syndrome, David Hasselhoff syndrome is lethal just like all syndromes. A person with David Hasselhoff Syndrome will lose all their friends and immediately begin to stop wearing shirts and will start eating burgers off the floor. The speech of a patient diagnosed with David Hasselhoff Syndrome will be slurred and completely un-understandable. They may also snort disgustingly every so often. When they begin to eat you will notice they will chew violently with their mouth open like a disgusting pig. They may also drool from the mouth and continuously say "I’ll be fine." This however is not the case; they will not be fine and must be treated immediately.

Always Never Not Un-Confusing Syndrome[edit]

Always Never Not Un-Confusing Syndrome or ANNU is not very un confusing. The patient will always never not talk as if they are not, not making everything un not difficult. Side effects may always un-not include, always being not very un annoying, having Elton John Syndrome, saying every sentence not not using un not excessive double-triple negatives. Patients who don't not have Always Never Not Un-Confusing Syndrome aren’t not usually un-un-un-un confusing and if not not diagnosed not un quickly, are soon to have YouAreDead Syndrome.

YouAreDead Syndrome[edit]

Also known as Michael Jackson syndrome, is a widespread syndrome and occurs around the world more than anything.

Dr. Ben Morrison explains the complex medical logic of YouAreDeadSyndome - Click To Enlarge -

Early symptoms of YouAreDead Syndrome include, not talking, not breathing, not moving, not eating, not playing game boy, and being dead. People diognosed with the syndrome are likely to be able to never have children or drive an automobile.

Notable Patients with YouAreDeadSyndrome: