Verbal diarrhea

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Verbal diarrhea is the non-stop flow of words, namely verbs, from the sufferer's mouth. This may lead to internal bleeding, and also infestation of sellotapeworms within the victim's stomach. Symptoms include: constant talking about irrelevant subjects; having no friends; slow realisation that your own stomach is digesting you; rejection from society; disownment by your parents; having multiple orgasms, and ejaculating highly concentrated hydrochloric acid, and having no friends.


In Pokémon: The Official Trading Card Game, any Pokémon with verbal diarrhea loses -3 attack points

In Socio-Economo-Bio-Chemistry: Having verbal diarrhea may induce vomiting, trying to locate the best crack-dens, and Kitten Huffing.


The first case of verbal diarrhea was during the Middle Ages, when in 1939 B.C. A franciscan monk was fired from his job as a sweat-shop realtor, which he originally took to earn some extra cash for the monastery brothel. As he entered a job interview for Wates Estate Agents in Croydon, he was documented by the Guardian newspaper to have "vomited blood", and then "the contents of his rectum were ejected from his oral cavity". The disease was passed on to the assorted 14-year-olds outside, attempting to look cool. Nowadays, this disease is common in people with neurosis, chavs, black people, white people, and people who think they have friends but don't really.


There is no cure for this disease, apart from severely traumatising the sufferer. There are, however, several ways of suppressing the symptoms, such as applying sudden force onto the victim's nasal area, or the victim's groin or stomach. Other ways include: Pushing victim under a bus; Slapping the victim until the victim's head explodes with the amount of blood rushin to his/her head; Verbally abusing victim; Telling victim to STFU!!!11ONeonelolroflz!!

Famous sufferers of verbal diahrrhea[edit]