Verizon

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“We never stop to work for you!”

~ Verizon slogan (internal)

“In Soviet Russia, Verizon doesn't work for you!”

~ Soviet Reversal on Verizons slogan

“Can You Hear Me Now?!”

~ Weird white guy on who goes around the country testing out services

“NO!!!!!!!!!!!!”

~ angry customer on on the weird white guy!!

Verizon originally known to the NSA as "Puppet Number Two", to themselves as God, and to customers everywhere as "that phone company that I pay a crapload of money to every month" is an organization dedicated to taking over the universe

A rejected logo for Verizon, much more truthful than the logo that was used.}}
Only $.002 cents per kilobyte for data transfer in Canada! [1]

Created in 2000 by the "merger" of Bell Atlantic and GTE, they now enslave, a bunch of people in the North, South, East, West of America by forcing them to pay a ridiculous amount of money for telecommunications services.

NSA Relations[edit]

Only with women!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

History of Verizon[edit]

Verizon sells bitches for money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Wireless Division[edit]

Verizon Wireless is known as the wireless division of Verizon. It is an evil wireless phone provider that somehow has managed to trick over 92.8 million citizens of the United States to sign up for its overpriced service and mandatory data packages. And you still can't talk and surf at the same time. The wireless division, used to be located in New Jersey but recently re-located to the Washington DC after overthrowing the government of the United States in what is known as the Coup of 2010. Since the coup of 2010, the company can pretty much do whatever it wants whenever it wants. Verizon Wireless currently has the largest revenue of all United States wireless companies because the company receives all federal tax revenue. On July 4 of 2010, Verizon declared all outstanding federal debt that it acquired in the coup invalid and renamed the United States to The Verizon Empire.

Currently, Verizon is working to extend the size of its empire. Eventually, the Verizon Wireless leadership hopes to control the entire universe.

See Also[edit]

  • Telstra, which is considered the Verizon of Australia.