Video iPod Nano U2 HD

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Why on Earth would it not sell?

“Another piece of iCrap to add to my collection”

~ Oscar Wilde on Video iPod Nano U2 HD

The Video iPod Nano U2 HD is Apple's newest innovation. It is a digital universal media player, or DUMP for short. This model can hold up to 400 million scajillion songs or 12 full-length high-definition movies, but only has a 5 second battery life, and allows you to re-charge it a total of 81 times (equalling 405 seconds, Stevie's favourite number). Though at $11,999 it is Apple's second most reasonably priced model (after the Pre-scratched Black iPod Nano which retails for $200 more than its unscratched counterpart), it still does not come with real earphones. Unlike the other iPods, however, the Video iPod Nano U2 HD does not come in black due to a lawsuit filed by the NAACP accusing Apple of being racist by not selling as many black models as white ones. Quote: "They don't sell no n-word iPods".

Sales[edit]

For some reason, the Video iPod Nano U2 HD has not been selling well in the digital universal media player market. It ships with every other U2 song and music video included. These two facts are probably completely unrelated.

Rumors of the up-coming iPod Porno, pre-loaded with Ron Jeremy's sex catalog, are thought to be the primary factor adversely affecting sales of the Video iPod Nano U2 HD.