Viktor Yushchenko

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Viktor Yushchenko.

File:Davros.jpg Viktor Yushchenko (aka: The Bogeyman) is a Martian and a former Gremlin warrior, who opened the export of revolutionary oranges from Mars into Ukraine. In this way he become the President of Ukraine. Yushchenko has some hypnotic abilities like making people cry his name "Yush-chen-ko! Yush-chen-ko!" and vote for him. This trick he applied at the U.S. Senate to get credit for development of orange plantations in Ukraine.

Viktor Yushchenko's hobbies are monetarism and bees. Also, he likes to say to people something good such as "criminals must be punished" or "my hands are clear". However, if journalists are near him, Yushchenko says: "You are killers, Yuliya Tymoshenko [Doctor Who's assistant - Ed.] pays you".

Yushchenko, when questioned in a recent interview, listed his hobbies as "sodomizing homeless puppies" and "pissing in a cup and drinking it." When asked if such practices were moral, he of course said "Who cares?" He was then reminded that his country was now begining to hold membership in many Western international organizations. He simply answered that he is a classless crybaby who can't live up to any promises he made. He then declared it is "only a matter of time" before he and his nation of illiterate school children with the mental capacity and emotional stability of a 2 year old will "crawl back to Russia."

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