Villainy Party

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
A button from one of the Penguins many campaigns for Mayor

The Villainy Party, formally The Villainy Party of the USA is minor political party in the

USA. According to its website, it is based upon a platform of European-style Antisocial-Undemocracy, it seeks to bring to the United States '...firm, tyrannical government similar to that "enjoyed" by the people of Latveria, Modora, Vlatava and other obscure East European microstates run by despotic madmen."

History[edit]

Many commentators believe that the success of the Manhattan Engineering District indirectly lead to the perceived need for a villainy-based party to counter the US government's growing dependence on righteousness and decency. The VPUSA was merely the best known and most visible of a number parties based upon this basis, including the Monster Society of Evil and the Masters of Evil.

Founded in 1967 by a merger of the League of Demented Psychopaths; the National Association of Spies, Traitors and Yahoos (NASTY), the Legalise Murder Party and the American Hubris Party, the VPUSA has repeatedly stated its primary goal of "a supervillain in the White House by 2010. To this end it has contested every presidential election since 1968, until they unexpectedly refused to run against George W. Bush in 2004. Asked for comment on this, VPUSA National Chairman Oswald "The Penguin" Cobblepot replied 'Let us just say that we have our reasons, waak, waak, waak.'

Early Years[edit]

The early years of the VPUSA were marked by substantial infighting and backbiting that has lasted until the present day, and is expected to continue well into the future. In the early days, the main internal tension was between old school villains such as Shiwan Khan and John Sunlight, and more up to date, late 60s villains such as Marsha, Queen of Diamonds and Egghead. This ended in the so-called "Metropolis Massacre" at the party's 1972 convention in Metropolis, at which the new guard used reasoned argument and carefully considered compromise to achieve it's goals. So, realistically, "Metropolis Massacre" was a bit of a hyperbole.

Presidential Campaigns[edit]

During these years, the VPUSA was still finding its way, trying to find candidates who would appeal to the American public. In the 1968 presidential election, they made a terrible tactical error in nominating the Riddler as their candidate. The Riddler infuriated the press corps as well as many American voters with his insistence on answering every question with a question. Another issue at the time was Riddler's controversial decision to 'balance the ticket' by choosing the Boston strangler as his running mate. Many Villainists consider the Strangler to be a mere common criminal, rather than a true villain. VPUSA Senatorial candidates such as the Trickster and the Jester publicly distanced themselves from the Strangler, citing his lack of colourful flamboyance in his crimes.

The VPUSA leadership learned from this mistake, and in future elections nominated less retarded villains, but to no avail. In 1972, presidential candidate Dr. Thaddeus Bodog Sivana and his running mate the Grim Reaper infuriated Hawks and Doves alike by proposing to end the Vietnam War by converting the entire Indo-Chinese peninsular into a gigantic slave labour camp, tasked with building giant robots for world domination. Richard M. Nixon won the election, with Sivana only winning the popular vote in Texas.

In the aftermath of Watergate, the VPUSA saw that the American people were sick of lies and deception, and in 1976 it's presidential candidate Power Ring ran under the slogan 'I acknowledge that I am a crook'. This represented the VPUSA's high water mark, as Power Ring was very nearly elected. However, at the last moment it was discovered that he was from another dimension, Earth-3. Mr. Ring argued that he was still eligible for the presidency, since he was a natural born citizen of a United States of America, even if he wasn't from the United States of America. However, the Supreme Court ruled that in this case, the legal principal of proxima sufficientus (or "close enough") did not apply, can't say back infinity. So Jimmy Carter won the election, insert joke about teeth and/or rabbits here.

The 1980s saw a decline of the VPUSA's vote, amidst frequent infighting between the party's extreme wings, the "Magicals" and the "Mad Scientists", following the disputed victory of Mordru of Tharn in the 1980 primaries. It was expected that Mordru would choose a senior scientist as his running mate, but instead went with the Human Top. The very public internal feud that followed discouraged many long-standing supporters, but did raise the profile of the party, as TV crews soon discovered that VPUSA conventions were infinitely less boring than those of the Democrats or Republicans. Instead of tedious debates on abortion or the right of the King to extract so-called "ship money" without consent of parliament, VPUSA conventions frequently used ten-way super-villain battles as a means of reaching a consensus.

This trend reached a head at the 1988 convention in Central City. In a televised incident, several members of a CBS camera crew were severely injured when Dr. Polaris threw a Sentinel robot at the Ringmaster and his Circus of Crime and missed. Dr. Polaris later apologised and publicly agreed to take counciling. He spoiled the effect, however, by then adding 'aim counciling, that is! Mu hoo ha ha ha!' Polaris was soon expelled from the party, and swore eternal vengeance.

In the 1990s, the party experienced a surge of popularity from voters tired of "business as usual" in Washington, and who wanted to see crazy- @#!*% @#!*% running amock instead. The best known beneficiary of this feeling was, of course, Ross Perot, but VPUSA presidential candidates such as the Ocean Master and Dr. Fu Manchu also benefited, with Dr. Fu very nearly winning the 1996 election. Fu also used the cunning ruse of pretending that China is a US state with thousands of electoral votes, but this scheme was foiled by ace nineties super-heroes, Shoulder-Pad Man and Captain Extreme.

2000 saw VPUSA support returning to it's 1970s levels, and candidate Magneto was asked to appear at the traditional presidential debates. His promise to reduce government spending by 'massacr[ing] the human race to pave the way for the glorious Age of Mutants' failed to resonate with the voters.

Electoral Successes[edit]

On a national level, the VPUSA has been remarkably unsuccessful, leading White House correspondent Vincent Yafnaro to quip 'The VPUSA makes the Bull Moose Party look like the Anti-Masonic Party.' Infuriated by his erudition, the rest of the White House press corps rounded upon the poor man and tore him limb from limb.

In spite of this, the party has had some successes, with immortal Flash villain Vandal Savage taking the Senate seat left empty when Strom thurmond died. At 10, 000 years old, Savage was the only man in the world older that Thurmond. In addition, the VPUSA maintains that it has both Senators and a number of Congressmen from the state of New Horrorfield, a claim denied by everyone else, who claim that no such state exists. The controversy goes on.

In local government, the VPUSA is on firmer ground, citing some hundreds of party members in local government, including New York Mayor Gorilla Grodd; outspoken Cook County, IL, Sheriff Catwoman; Kansas School Board members Satan, Baroness von Gunther and Wave the Swallow, and Boston Animal Control Officer, Cruella de Ville.

Nuvola apps important blue.svg This template is blue because this article needs cleanup.
Please make spelling, grammar, or punctuation corrections, reorganize the content, or delete bad content and clich├ęs so this template will cheer up.

Incorrect usage! Please sign with timestamp: {{Cleanup|~~~~~}}