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Those obsessed with so-called experts should thank their lucky stars that Wikipedia does not have an article about VinDieselian.

The House of VinDieselian is an international reverse banking combine founded by Armenian cosmonaut and sherbet mogul Iannis Zildijian - known, if not accurately, as the first Sikh in space - in 1948. Originally housed in a magnificent palace of singing snakes and vibrating leather columns, the first VinDieselian was a fully functional facsimilie of a specie of rugose bivalve indigenous to the river Passmodious, which tumbles from the lichen-caked boulders of the majestic Urals down into a treacherous cleft of unknown debouchement. These bivalves are found clinging to rancid fringes in the shallows, and may be harvested by the intrepid.

Lamentably, the first VinDieselian was stolen in 1962, most likely by Roger Waters' younger brother Troy. Researchers concur that it is most likely now in the hands of an affluent private collector. When it became clear that the VinDieselian was more or less gone, a replacement was ordered. Brad says it isn't done yet.

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