Vince Russo

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Vince preying to himself that the TNA wont sink as fast as he sank the WCW
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Vince Russo.

Vincent Kennedy Mc Russo or Vince as he liked to be called instead of Douche Bag, Cockhead, Faggot-fuck, shit for brains, dickhead, gobbledecocksucker, Ass fucker, fuck-nugget, asshole burger, dickless & Don is an infamous legend amongst the professional wide world of wrestling (Florida). Many people today believe Vince re-wrote the world of professional wrestling and changed it into something that everyone could enjoy, and not just a bunch of hillbilly rednecks who couldn't get tickets to the next KKK show in town. Others however refer to Vince as "the guy that is living proof incest should be illegal"

Love him or hate him, Vince invented Professional Wrestling and ruled the world of Wrestling until 1981 when Vince McMahon stole the idea from him and launched the World Wrestling Federation (WWF) which has been the world leader of sports entertainment for over 50 years, except when WCW was kicking their ass in the ratings for nearly 10 years and that time when the WWF had to stop allowing Pandas to be struck down with chair shots to the back of the head due to animal cruelty laws, but the Pandas where asking for it anyways, fucking pandas. But why are we talking about pandas? forget the fucking pandas, we're here to talk about Vince Russo, stop with the panda talk already.

Vince Invents Wrestling[edit]

On the 8th day after Vince invented the Earth, the sun, the trees & pandas. Vince decided he would invent the greatest sport known to man (when he got around to inventing man) and hence, Wrestling was invented. Vince lined up as many beefed-up, steroid-injected turds as he could, and made them dance cuddle spoon wrestle each other. For over a quarter of a billion years Vince was the god of wrestling, and the world, until Satan came along and revolutionized the sport (snicker) into what it is today.

Vince VS Vince[edit]

Satan, AKA: Vince McMahon started buying shares and stocks in many of the small territorial wrestling company's, and soon had taken over the world and calling it the World Wrestling Federation. A Company where Man could battle beasts... and pandas. This pissed off Russo so much, he decided he had to invent a company too, but all he could find was talentless WWF rejects and crappy independent stars that he had to convince his name was McMahon to get them to sign to his company he later would call We Can't Wrestle (WCW).

For over 50,000 years the WWF and WCW would lock horns competing with each other, and the feud would escalate once television was invented during the last 10,000 years of their unforgettable battles. Often the WCW would challenge the WWF to a ratings war, and the two Vince's would show case their master skills at making legends, crowed favorites.

It was all finally going to come to an end in November of 2001 when Vince would Challenge Vince to a match, pitting their best wrestlers against each other. The event was called Wrestlefakia. Vince brought out his champion, Hulk Hogan to take on The Nature Boy Ric Flair in what became one of the greatest wastes of time in sports entertainment history, as Ric Flair would go down to Hogan due to McMahon paying him a lot of money to buy-off Flair to take a dive. This made Russo feel like the smaller man and he would give in and bow at Mr McMahons feet. Russo sold the WCW to Ted Turner & Eric Bischoff for 50 cents and leave with his tail between his ass cheeks in his most shocking embarrassment to date.

Vince & Vince Tag Up[edit]

Vince Russo begged McMahon to give him a job with the WWF, and McMahon accepted. Vince Russo would be the genius behind such wrestling legends and house hold names such as The Gobbledegooker & Carrot Top. Those names are sun-ominous with WWF/E legends of wrestling. Vince & Vince would turn over such great wrestler gimmicks and story lines that the WCW owners needed to up-their game to compete in what became the Monday Night Bores.

It was the dawning of the Crapitude era, to compete with the WWF, the WCW had to invent characters of such great magnitude such as Robocop & The Shockmaster to compete. But the Gobbledegooker would triumph over the WCW champions winning the worlds hearts under his wings. The WWF then invented a character called Stone Cold Temple Pilot Austin who they invented out of 6 Million Dollars worth of cans of whoop-ass fueled by beer. The WCW's reaction was to invent a simmilar looking character made out of 16 million dollars worth of steroids and fecal matter that they named GoldTurd.

Vince & Vince would have their ass kicked by the WCW when they came up with a faction called the Nigger Wankers of Oz (NWO) so Vince & Vince came up with a faction reaction with 2 guys and a she-male that they called De-Sexed. The wars would rage on for centuries. Battles like these raged on for so long that something just had to change to rock the boat.

Vince Russo would then decide the WWF should expand into other sports, so Vince pitched the idea to Vince to start up a professional football league to compete with the NFL. Soon the WWF launched the XFL and sooner then soon the XFL went under as one of the dumbest decisions in sports entertainment history since the Shockmaster. McMahon blamed Russo for the 18 dollars lost on inventing the XFL, and fired Russo for coming up with such a dumb idea that even the WCW could see it wasn't worth trying to come up with their own alternate sports league.

Russo was now out of the WWF, and looking for revenge.

Vince & Bischoff Rule The Sinking Ship[edit]

Russo sucked up to Bischoff begging for a job with the WCW. Eric asked why they should employee him?, and Russo laid claim to having been the man behind all of the WWF's best moments and ideas, such as the Gobbledegooker, Dork The Clown, Dropping a Panda dressed as Captain America off the catwalk above the ring to his death, and of coarse making Bret Hart suck off Shawn Micheals in what was known as the most controversial moment in sports entertainment history, "The Montreal Blow Job".

With that kind of genius ideas man, Eric instantly welcomed Vince to the WCW to start helping out with new ideas to make the WCW continue to win the ratings war. The first thing Vince did was get rid of every wrestlers name and gimmick and make them change it. He then invented a faction called the New Blood, then got the NWO to go invade a gay bar in Philadelphia to respond to the WWF attack of D-Sexed declaring war on the WCW headquarters. Russo then laid claim to inventing the Titantron, so he made a crappy rip off for the WCW called the Megatron, WWF had a shemale body-builder named Chyna, So Russo found a body-building hermaphrodite and named her Aysa, and so on, and so on the copy wars went on and on and on but Russo was just trying to re-invent things he had done, he was not coming up with anything new so it was soon found out, Vince was not the brilliant ideas man he once was behind the WWF, and it was one of the dumbest decisions in history when Russo decided to compete with the ECW to see who could put their company out of business before them. WCW naturally lost to the ECW but after Russo's involvement in WCW story-lines, having the same matches against the same opponents booked every week for every show, making Jeff Jarret the world champion, having Goldberg lose his undefeated streak to Aysa & employing a 7 foot mummy/ninja to hug everyone for 20 minutes, the WCW was declared out of business and sold to Vince McMahon for half of what Russo sold it to Turner and Bischoff originally. The WCW was no more.

What A Dumbass[edit]

Russo had killed what he invented, so he figured the only thing to do was start from scratch and come up with another brilliant company that could compete with the WWE. He was asked to help form the TNA group, but declined it saying he had a much better idea in mind. Vince started up the AROG {Ass rimmers of glory) which was a religious based wrestling show. Vince booked the PPV event that featured such match ups as: "Moses VS The Virgin Mary, Goliath VS King Tut, Jesus VS Hitler & the main even; Ultimate Warrior VS Phil Collins. Then event was going good till the Warrior showed and killed the event faster then Russo killing the WCW ratings. Vince had no choice now but to suck up to Jeff Jarret and beg for a job with TNA. Vince was employed as the story-line writer for TNA and did his best to kill ratings for TNA as best he could, but showing signs of getting older, he was not living up to his old tricks, and so he was let go from TNA in 2009 and replaced by Hulk Hogan and Bischoff to sink the TNA into the ground once and for all.

Turning Everyone Heel[edit]

Vince Russo turned Everyone heel. The end.


SWERVE! You thought that was the end of this article. But, this article pulled a Vince Russo on you.

You thought it was going one way and BAM! It smacks you in the face with a chair instead of the other guy.

Things Russo Created (or at least claimed he did)[edit]

Vince Invented the New York Knicks, hell, he claims he invented the NBA too, but because he is a complete fuckwit, he also is New Yorks starting Point Gaurd, and is the reason the New York knicks suck today
A movie this dumb-a-looking could only have been cooked up by the moronic mind of Vince Russo