Wait Watchers

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Wait Watchers, founded in the 1630s, is a discussion group for people who like to watch other people waiting for things. This can include people who are waiting for buses, trains, the summer, and people who are waiting for them to stop staring.

In Britain, the members of this group are pretentious bastards who prefer to term themselves "Queue Observers". This has led to much ridicule from every other country, except for Armenia. This is due to the British habit of joining any queue that comes into sight, with no regard for what it is for.

POINTS[edit]

In order to get into Wait Watchers, you have to collect enough points. These points are collected every time you watch someone wait, and are distributed in different ways in different places. For example, in supermarkets, you are given points equal to the number of points you earn on your loyalty card for waiting in queue rather than kicking and screaming for them to open a new till. Some supermarkets have a no wait policy of opening new tills - this is in order to reduce the membership of Wait Watchers.

History[edit]

The origins of Wait Watchers are lost to the obscurity of time, however several prominent historians have recently made some suggestions:

Professor Windyline of the University of Wobble recently announced that he had discovered irrefutable evidence that wait watching had branched off from a section of the trainspotting community one winters' day, when a train was delayed, and so one man's attention wandered, and he realised that the people waiting for the train were much more interesting to watch. His theory was immediately refuted.

Other examples include the theory that Wait Watchers was a dyslexic splinter group of a much bigger organisation named Weight Watchers. No evidence has been discovered to prove the existence of this other body.hahahahaaha

Famous Wait Watchers[edit]

It is considered a serious breach of conduct for a wait watcher to reveal their membership. It is however well known that a number of celebrities, including Geri Haliwell, Saddam Hussein and Oscar Wilde were wait watchers. The guards at Buckingham Palace who spend all day watching the tourists are also believed to be professional members.

George W. Bush was recently expelled from Wait Watchers for undisclosed reasons.