Waiting for Godot

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to navigation Jump to search

“Nothing happens, twice. And then something happens, and it makes you wish nothing would happen again. Which it eventually does... not.”

~ Vivian Mercier on Waiting for Godot

“Nothing happened. Then, after a few moments, nothing continued to happen.”

~ Douglas Adams on Waiting for Godot

“I slept through most of Act 1 and pretty much all of Act 2 but I'm sure something worth sleeping through never happened, more than once.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Waiting for Godot

An Uncyclopedia article. A tree. Night.

This is an article about "Waiting for Godot".


"Waiting for Go-dough".

It's a playish type thingy.


Act One[edit]


What's the play about?

I don't know.

Nihilism? Indecision? The futility of existence in a world where, ultimately, we are powerless and can only have our fate molded by outside forces?

I don't know.

You mean it's about I don't know ?

I don't know.


Wait a minute. There's something in my hat...

You've been pissing around with that thing for two years, what's wrong with it?

Oh, there's a banana in it. How did that get there?

Are you being Platonic?

I don't know anything about plates, or toes. Or tonic.

I sure could go for some Play-Dough and tonic.

Are you being ironic?



Let's go.

We can't.

Why not?

We're reading an article about "Waiting for Godot".

Ah! ... Wait a minute, why are we doing that?

I don't know.

Fancy a game of "pass the hats"?

What hat?



Just go on to the next thing.


Vladimir: A tramp in a bowler hat - his motives are unclear.

Estragon: A tramp in a bowler hat - his motives are unclear. He has a short term memory disorder and apparent narcolepsy.

Pozzo: A rich man in a bowler hat - his motives are unclear. He has a short term memory disorder and suffers from fits of blindness.

Lucky: A slave in a fuzzy hat - his hat is unclear.

A Boy: A boy with no hat. He and Godot enjoy sado-masochism. Their motives are unclear.

A tree: A tree. Its motives are unclear.

Godot: A small, green, sentient energy cloud. His motives are unclear.

The Curtain: Only involved in the very end of the play. Considered by many to be the highlight. Its motives are clear.

Let's go.

We can't.

Why not?

We're reading an article about "Waiting for Godot".

Yes, you just said that a minute ago.

Did I?

You did.

Did I really? I can't recall it. But since you say so, it must have been important.

It wasn't.

What was it, then?

It was boring, but also important. Like life.

Wait a second... How did you remember any of that?


Hey guys.

Did that tree just say something?

I think it did...

Maybe if we put our hats on, it will ignore us...

Where did those guys go?


So who is this "Godot"?

Well, that's the point isn't it.

... What?

Umm... y'know, it's an enigma.

A nigma?


A mystery.

A puzzle.

A mystery.

A puzzle.

A conundrum





Uh, yeah.

So the "point" of the play is that its subject never turns up.

Er... Yes.

Well that's just lazy, isn't it? Who is this Beckett guy anyway? Sounds to me like he just doesn't know how to write a plot twist. I know if I was sat in a theatre for an hour and a half, most of which is silence, I'd want to find out what the hell it had all been about. Godot could be some kind of giant lizard which devours everyone in an explosive finale. That'd be a good play.

You're just a philistine.

Fuck you.

Well, shall we go?

Yes, let's go.

No, we can't - the bus isn't here yet.



The play is a questioning of the fundamental core of our existence, the foundation on which our moral and social codes are built; the uncertainty of Godot's identity, coupled with the stark, unembellished style of the whole play, poses some powerful questions about our own identities.

What the hell are you talking about?

I dunno, but it sounds intelligent.

Act Two[edit]

Read "Act One" again.
Because we have to.

Okay. Why?


"Breathe", a play lasting only 30 seconds. Considered by many to be a vast improvement. See also: How to Get Published With a Minimal of Effort

And Now: The Punchline[edit]


Hi folks, it's Godot. Sorry I'm late but I stopped off for a fish supper. I brought the lightbulbs. And .... er ....


where's everybody gone?


Potatohead aqua.png Featured Article  (read another featured article) Featured version: 25 October 2006
This article has been featured on the front page. — You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
Template:FA/25 October 2006Template:FA/2006